Where the Buffalo Roam
July! July, July. It was kind of weird. There were moments when I'd think to myself, "Hey it's July 11th and one year ago I was spending this moment in Madrid." But this year, I waited around to be called in to work, and felt like a loser when I never really was. My boss, Mary, said July is a slow month, but that she'd rather "be getting killed than be dead". By that, she means she wishes we had too much business rather than no business at all. So instead of just getting another job, I started seeing Dr. Hassett again--ten years later. Ten years is a long time, and she is older now but still very sweet. I ended up sobbing through the entire first session, for a lot of reasons. It was awful and good. I had a long talk with my mother afterward before hopping into Becky's car for our trip to Penn State. It rained really hard on the drive down, but it stopped by the time we got there. Becky's apartment was really cute, just as I had imagined it to be. Her boyfriend Adam met up with us at Qdoba as we ate burritos. Then we got ice cream at The Creamery and walked through the library among all the kids who were there for sports camps. We ate pitas, rented some "Six Feet Under" and drank some Woodchucks until I passed out on the futon during a celebrity poker game on TV (they're so boring!). I woke up to a beautiful day and went for a very pleasant run around the campus. Golden Bowl, the restaurant I had virtually gone down there for was closed for renovations. We got coffee at Saints Cafe and hung out at Adam's apartment, a little further away. Then we drove home. Joe Cutler's birthday rolled around, and I was nervous about spending all that time with his family at the party. Alex and I went to Nelson's first to get drunk, since we couldn't do it there. At the party, I ate some hummus and didn't meet Joe's father. Alex's roommate Megan was visiting, and we went back to Alex's after the party to swim a little and tell ghost stories. Susannah had another party for Joe the next night at her house, and someone stole her iPod. They made vegan cupcakes for him, which were tasty as hell. I gave him a bag of lollipops, some ice cream treats, and made him a CD of 19 songs (to match his 19 years of age). It was nice to see Leigh and get drunk with her before she left for London. I forget what happened in the following days, but I remember going to a book release for this kid I thought was hot and drinking boxed wine at Liz's new house while looking at her mother's old yearbooks. I get so dumb when I drink boxed wine. Joe and I took my sister to the midnight premiere of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" at Cinemark. There were so many people dressed in costume, so it was like Halloween. Joe bought a pickle and fell asleep during the movie. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Later in the week, I found out that our friend Lani had died in Philadelphia. We had gone to school together forever and hung out a lot as the Art Club in high school. She was such a talented artist. After I found out, I looked for the little clay cave man she had made for me a few years ago, and put it above our kitchen sink where it used to be. Both of his arms had broken off. I wish I could have been a better friend to her. I've never dealt with this before, and it's awful to think about how my friends always wonder whose wedding we would go to first, not even thinking about a funeral. I had such a knot in my stomach about going, but I went with Emily and Kelly, hoping we would see a lot of our classmates. We saw a few, but not as I expected. Her mother just held onto me and told me how much Lani loved being friends with me. We sat in disbelief during the service, listening to Lani's sister read a poem she had written. Em and I cried quietly as she read out, "You are the beauty you created." Lani's mother asked us to follow in the procession to the cemetery, where there was another service and we put roses next to her urn. We would have gone to the memorial breakfast, but I had to go to Philadelphia with my family for my cousins' graduation party. I dropped off the girls after a quick stop at Dunkin Donuts, then we all headed down to the party--an odd transition indeed. After we drove back home, I went to a party at Joe's friend's house, then we walked over to a house where there was a movie being filmed. We were too tired to be extras in the "party scene" so we left and I went home. Then kind of broke up with Joe. Alex came back from Pittsburgh the next night and we went up to my lake house to have a fire with Liz, Denzel, Emily, Susannah, and Jim. We told some scary stories and laughed a lot, which was sorely needed I think. Good. Grace and I went to see "The Devil Wears Prada". I hate Anne Hathaway. Meryl Streep was great, but I thought she was Glenn Close. Then when I found out I had another week off, I decided that I needed to run away for a while and take an amazing trip. I was booking hostels and buying bus tickets to Montreal when Becky convinced me to wait until she got back in town to go, since I said I would go with her. I was feeling a bit self-conscious about going alone anyway. So instead, I took Liz with me to get the tattoo I had been wanting since seeing Chloe's Isaac Mizrahi bedsheets last year. At Slingin' Ink, Frank put two grains of wheat onto my ribs and it kind of hurt. Much more than my other ones. I was stretched out on my side while two apprentices looked on, and I felt like a baby calf getting hogtied. It was awkward. I never get nervous about getting a tattoo, but I get nervous just being around the tattoo guys. I feel like I should act really flamboyant just so they know I'm not some douchebag who is taking his girlfriend to watch him get a tattoo. I don't know. Everyone likes the wheat tattoo, but I worked myself up about it when I was trying to fall asleep that night. I kept thinking about how else I wanted it, in a folk art style of sorts, and kept looking down at it with the light from my cell phone. I've grown to accept and love it as a part of me now. It's healing now, and getting itchy. On Wednesday, I took Grace and Angela to a buffalo farm in Hamlin (something Dr. Hassett had been telling me about after explaining how I feel I've wasted the summer). It was easy to find, but they are only opened on Fridays and Saturdays. We got to see the fields where the buffalos play and roam, but didn't see the actual beasts. We drove down by Claws 'n' Paws, which always seemed so far away when our dad took us there years and years ago. The world felt so much bigger when I was a kid. I made Grace a CD for the trip, and it made things perfect as we drove home, stopping for ice cream and french fries in Mt. Cobb, then at a blueberry farm that had baby goats and teepees (!). Grace and I went to a pilates class at this yoga studio that has been within walking distance for five years and we had no idea. We were practically the only people in the class, so it was like a private lesson. I loved it. I got some tea with Alex and Liz later on, then went home to watch "Project Runway" and eat a whole container of tahini. What a good show-- I have such a crush on Allison and want the guy who looks a little like Kanye West to win. I went to New York the next day with my Mom and Grace, because I think they needed a little vacation. We stayed in a nice hotel and saw shows and ate a lot. I met Omer in Union Square, then saw the apartment he's got for the summer. He looked like a little bike messenger. I went with the girls to see "Strangers With Candy" at the Landmark Sunshine on E. Houston. We ate some knishes before the show and were the only ones in the theater. I was really pleased with it, but didn't like how many jokes were recycled or how Jerri didn't look ugly enough. It seemed watered down for a general audience but I still loved it. I missed Orlando, and didn't appreciate the "Megawatti" character that was supposed to make up for him. Stephen Colbert was fantastic, just really on. Someone left me a scary voicemail during the movie, pretending to be a burly man named Kitty, which I found very bone-chilling. Or maybe I actually do know someone named Kitty, but I don't think I do. We walked down Bowery to Chinatown and got caught in a thunderstorm with some homeless people. I told them it was an authentic moment. We were soaked and cold as we sat down to dinner at Il Cortile in Little Italy. We got some desserts and cappuccinos afterward because the rain wouldn't stop. My stomach really hurt, and I convinced them to hop on a bus to Scranton--which we just barely made. It was a torturous ride home. I really had to pee. My father was having a party for his interns at the house, so there were lots of fraternity guys playing beer pong by our pool and eating hot dogs my brother was cooking for them. I wanted to see Adam Goldman, who was visiting Emily, but she never called me and now I hate her. I had to work the next day, and my stomach was still acting up. Mary broke her arm, so she's got a cast on and it adds so much to her character. It was kind of a shitty wedding, but I got some nice tips. People are so wasteful when they're getting married. I was there very late and my boss told me that I looked like hell. I felt okay, though. Last night, I watched "The Dying Gaul" with Patricia Clarkson and Peter Sarsgaard. I loved most of it, but it took me a while to love how it ended. What a busy summer I haven't had. On Friday, I finally heard from Linda at Farrar, Straus & Giroux and she said they'd love to have me join them in the Fall for the internship program. It was such wonderful news. I'm really excited to have something like that to focus on. New York better be ready.
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