All my screaming has gone unheard
I saw the movie 300 tonight and was kind of inspired by it. Not only that, but in light of certain situations, I feel that a nice long rant is in order.
My goal this year was to grow up a little, improve as a person, and to grow some balls. Well, that last part starts now. I am no longer going to be the quiet little chick that lets everything slide. If something bothers me, you are going to hear about it now. I am not going to keep letting everyone walk all over me anymore.
This means, that Dave is going to get to hear it on monday. I cannot pretend to be nice to him anymore. He has crossed one too many lines. I wish nothing but good things for him in life, because then he has no reason to continue being the miserable, rumor spreading, backstabbing evil old man that he is. He won't be able to complain about how unfair life is to him. He is the laziest person to work at Hockeytwon and yet complains about not having any hours......Fucking hypocrite. No one gets away with messing around with anyone in my family either. I am the only one who can complain about them. Dave is goig down and Melissa is not going to be the only one who can make him cry.
No one really knows the history Dave has dug up when he went to Steve to complain about my alleged affair with Evans. Since I was 17 years old, I have been accused of doing things that I never have done. In high school, my own boyfriend thought I was being inappropriate with my English teacher. I had to endure tauntings from other teachers about it too. Even though nothing had ever happened. Then at Specs Howard, the whole class, including my boyfriend there, thought I was having sex with not one, but two of my video instructors....Sorry, never happened. When I went to work at Lakeside Fishing Shop, a woman almost three times my age accused me of sleeping with her husband. Everyone at work thought I was too. Not only that, but on a daily basis I get murderous looks from girls who's boyfriends I am friends with. Sorry ladies, though I may have fun with your boys and wrestle with them, I am not sleeping with them. I know where to draw the line and would never intentionally break-up a relationship.
I am also very sick and tired of people telling me what to do, how to act, who to talk to, and who to stay away from. I may be in like with a boy who has hurt me over and over again and has not written me in over a week. Its my decision to remain faithful to him even though he may not be to me. I am sure he may have forgotten all about his little Jackie in Michigan while he is galavanting all over Europe and checks his myspace almost daily, but seems to have no time to write me. I have decided that I am not getting involved with anyone at all ever. Its a personal choice of mine to remain like it is. If I am not with Brian, then I am with any one. Its time to focus on me and my career.
Too many people think they know whats best for me. One guy is telling me to stay away from Brian and saying that I stabbed him in the back by hanging out with B. Well, Mike, you cheated on me with other girls. I know this because I have caught you. I took you back and we were able to kind of remain friends when it was all said and done. You moved to Nashville with your new girl and are happy. I am happy for you, but that does not give you the right to be mad at me for who I had a sort of relationship with in Michigan. I chose to give them a chance. Maybe I got hurt really bad, but it was my choice. As for you Stacy.....You never even met B. Yeah, he did some fucked up things, but nothing compared to what I walked in on Mike doing. Focus on your own crumbling relationship and be a friend to me. The "I told you so" act is getting old.
Shauners, seriously kid...I cared a lot about you, still do as a person. I really do not want to hear how you all of a sudden want a relationship after months of screwing around with me and then saying that you did not want a relationship. Sure, I know you care about me and that I was perfect for you and that you just were too afraid to hurt me. Still, hearing about all your other girls, is jsut geting annoying. GOod for you though, I am happy they are interested in you. Don't tell me about all of it though.
A certain boy that will go un-named- The suicide attempts at getting attention are obviously failing. You are alive for a reason, so move on and live your damn life. The cries for attention are getting old and will soon go unnoticed. Go save yourself. People have tried to reach out to you, its no use.
Also, any exes that are trying to reconnect with me and tell me how they miss me, please stop. I am so sick of boys and games, that its not even funny. Not one bit. Don't say you want to invite me out somewhere then ignore me the whole time. There is a reason I never date the same person twice, and you guys are proving it to me.
If I seem on edge lately, its because I am also dealing with stuff at home thats really messed up. My parents are basically divorced, still living together. My stepdad is holding out for a miracle and my mom barely says two words to him. She will go on and on about him to me about their sex life, or lack there of, in detail. Its all a little too much for me to deal with on a daily basis. All the tension and arguing; things being unsaid, I can't take much more of it.
Therefore, everything I want to say, will be said. I am not purposely trying to hurt anyone and I am really sorry if I do. I seriously just cannot take this anymore. I would go to someone about the way Jeff has been treating my at work, but since he has Evans' back and has not done anything in a little bit, I will let it slide for now.
I miss Brian so much that it hurts and it sucks worse that he has not returned an email in a while. There is nothing more I can do until he gets back, if he comes back and decides to return letters or phone calls. Maybe he really is busy. Its my choice to hold on or let go, I guess. Its a wait and see kind of deal for now......Grrrrr.
I am working on becoming a stronger, more outspoken type of girl. Its the only way I am going to maintain my own sanity. I guess you can't always keep things bottled up inside.
Expect more rants later.
Everything
By Josh Todd
Buried way beneath the sheets I think she’s having a meltdown
Finding it hard to fall asleep she won’t let anyone help her
The look on her face a waste of time she won’t let go gonna roll the dice
Loosing her grace starts to cry I feel her pain when I look in her eyes
I want to be I want everything, I want everything
Somewhere she is on the streets trying to make things better
Praying to God and breathing deep gotta break this long obsession
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
If I had everything would I still want to be alive or want to be high (2x’s)
Now and then she talks to me and sometimes writes me letters
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Your eyes, never close your eyes open up your mind and you can have everything
Spartan King Leonidas-"We Spartans have descended from Hercules himself. Taught never to retreat, never to surrender. Taught that death in the battlefield is the greatest glory he could achieve in his life. Spartans: the finest soldiers the world has ever known."
My goal this year was to grow up a little, improve as a person, and to grow some balls. Well, that last part starts now. I am no longer going to be the quiet little chick that lets everything slide. If something bothers me, you are going to hear about it now. I am not going to keep letting everyone walk all over me anymore.
This means, that Dave is going to get to hear it on monday. I cannot pretend to be nice to him anymore. He has crossed one too many lines. I wish nothing but good things for him in life, because then he has no reason to continue being the miserable, rumor spreading, backstabbing evil old man that he is. He won't be able to complain about how unfair life is to him. He is the laziest person to work at Hockeytwon and yet complains about not having any hours......Fucking hypocrite. No one gets away with messing around with anyone in my family either. I am the only one who can complain about them. Dave is goig down and Melissa is not going to be the only one who can make him cry.
No one really knows the history Dave has dug up when he went to Steve to complain about my alleged affair with Evans. Since I was 17 years old, I have been accused of doing things that I never have done. In high school, my own boyfriend thought I was being inappropriate with my English teacher. I had to endure tauntings from other teachers about it too. Even though nothing had ever happened. Then at Specs Howard, the whole class, including my boyfriend there, thought I was having sex with not one, but two of my video instructors....Sorry, never happened. When I went to work at Lakeside Fishing Shop, a woman almost three times my age accused me of sleeping with her husband. Everyone at work thought I was too. Not only that, but on a daily basis I get murderous looks from girls who's boyfriends I am friends with. Sorry ladies, though I may have fun with your boys and wrestle with them, I am not sleeping with them. I know where to draw the line and would never intentionally break-up a relationship.
I am also very sick and tired of people telling me what to do, how to act, who to talk to, and who to stay away from. I may be in like with a boy who has hurt me over and over again and has not written me in over a week. Its my decision to remain faithful to him even though he may not be to me. I am sure he may have forgotten all about his little Jackie in Michigan while he is galavanting all over Europe and checks his myspace almost daily, but seems to have no time to write me. I have decided that I am not getting involved with anyone at all ever. Its a personal choice of mine to remain like it is. If I am not with Brian, then I am with any one. Its time to focus on me and my career.
Too many people think they know whats best for me. One guy is telling me to stay away from Brian and saying that I stabbed him in the back by hanging out with B. Well, Mike, you cheated on me with other girls. I know this because I have caught you. I took you back and we were able to kind of remain friends when it was all said and done. You moved to Nashville with your new girl and are happy. I am happy for you, but that does not give you the right to be mad at me for who I had a sort of relationship with in Michigan. I chose to give them a chance. Maybe I got hurt really bad, but it was my choice. As for you Stacy.....You never even met B. Yeah, he did some fucked up things, but nothing compared to what I walked in on Mike doing. Focus on your own crumbling relationship and be a friend to me. The "I told you so" act is getting old.
Shauners, seriously kid...I cared a lot about you, still do as a person. I really do not want to hear how you all of a sudden want a relationship after months of screwing around with me and then saying that you did not want a relationship. Sure, I know you care about me and that I was perfect for you and that you just were too afraid to hurt me. Still, hearing about all your other girls, is jsut geting annoying. GOod for you though, I am happy they are interested in you. Don't tell me about all of it though.
A certain boy that will go un-named- The suicide attempts at getting attention are obviously failing. You are alive for a reason, so move on and live your damn life. The cries for attention are getting old and will soon go unnoticed. Go save yourself. People have tried to reach out to you, its no use.
Also, any exes that are trying to reconnect with me and tell me how they miss me, please stop. I am so sick of boys and games, that its not even funny. Not one bit. Don't say you want to invite me out somewhere then ignore me the whole time. There is a reason I never date the same person twice, and you guys are proving it to me.
If I seem on edge lately, its because I am also dealing with stuff at home thats really messed up. My parents are basically divorced, still living together. My stepdad is holding out for a miracle and my mom barely says two words to him. She will go on and on about him to me about their sex life, or lack there of, in detail. Its all a little too much for me to deal with on a daily basis. All the tension and arguing; things being unsaid, I can't take much more of it.
Therefore, everything I want to say, will be said. I am not purposely trying to hurt anyone and I am really sorry if I do. I seriously just cannot take this anymore. I would go to someone about the way Jeff has been treating my at work, but since he has Evans' back and has not done anything in a little bit, I will let it slide for now.
I miss Brian so much that it hurts and it sucks worse that he has not returned an email in a while. There is nothing more I can do until he gets back, if he comes back and decides to return letters or phone calls. Maybe he really is busy. Its my choice to hold on or let go, I guess. Its a wait and see kind of deal for now......Grrrrr.
I am working on becoming a stronger, more outspoken type of girl. Its the only way I am going to maintain my own sanity. I guess you can't always keep things bottled up inside.
Expect more rants later.
Everything
By Josh Todd
Buried way beneath the sheets I think she’s having a meltdown
Finding it hard to fall asleep she won’t let anyone help her
The look on her face a waste of time she won’t let go gonna roll the dice
Loosing her grace starts to cry I feel her pain when I look in her eyes
I want to be I want everything, I want everything
Somewhere she is on the streets trying to make things better
Praying to God and breathing deep gotta break this long obsession
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
If I had everything would I still want to be alive or want to be high (2x’s)
Now and then she talks to me and sometimes writes me letters
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Your eyes, never close your eyes open up your mind and you can have everything
Spartan King Leonidas-"We Spartans have descended from Hercules himself. Taught never to retreat, never to surrender. Taught that death in the battlefield is the greatest glory he could achieve in his life. Spartans: the finest soldiers the world has ever known."