Harry Potter/Discworld: Stress Relief
It's not a great day today. Lots of stressful stuff bearing down, accompanied by various little stinging frustrations. So, I'm going to post this thing. I doubt anyone's interested.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,707
Disclaimer: Oh how I wish I owned either Harry Potter or Discworld! Although the choice between being richer than god or brilliant beyond all reason would be a tough one.
Author's Notes: I wrote this ages ago, but never posted it anywhere for one reason or another. It's my sole foray into both Harry Potter and Discworld fandom.
Summary: Minerva McGonagal gets lost in L-space and makes a new... friend.
Minerva McGonagal stalked down her usual route in the library of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, her tail idly flicking back and forth. She invited the silence of the stacks to seep into her mind and smooth over the numerous worries within. Over the years of her tenure, Minerva had made it a habit to visit the library after school hours and walk off all the stress her job seemed to heap upon her. It only made sense that she do this in her feline form; the human Professor McGonagal could walk the entire span of the library in minutes, while the cat could meander around for hours among the canyon-like stacks. Unfortunately, this excursion was bringing little peace to the anxious witch. Granted, she had a great deal more on her mind than usual what with Voldemort’s increasingly violent attacks and the consequent threat to her students. She’d been plodding along row after row since dinner, waiting for some kind of calm to make itself known. Finally, desperate for any available release, Minerva broke into a trot, hoping to escape her anxiety through motion. The library blurred around her as she picked up speed, and she didn’t stop until her muscles burned and her little cat body panted for breath.
Minerva tried to get her bearings, but found it surprisingly difficult to identify her exact location. The shelves around her, though not unfamiliar, still failed to connect with any part of Minerva’s precise knowledge of the Hogwarts library. She chalked this failing up to an extended stay in her feline form; her human brain was beginning to dull. She knew she would have a devil of a time returning to her natural shape if she continued to wait for her peace of mind to arrive. Just as she was about to focus on the human Minerva, a sound caught her sensitive ears. She wasn’t certain, but the sound resembled a tiny scream. Not tiny as in faint, but tiny as if emitted by something very small. Her ears pivoted, attempting to pinpoint the sound’s source. Her sharp eyes peered into the library’s gloom and spotted a little shape rounding a corner into the row Minerva occupied. A growl rose unbidden in the professor’s throat as she identified a mouse running full speed towards her. Normally Minerva refrained from hunting as a cat; she didn’t believe in hunting for sport, and to her stalking mice instead of visiting the kitchens if she was hungry came too close for comfort. Though that didn’t mean she didn’t get the urge, occasionally.
Still aching to relieve her tension, Minerva put aside her principles in the decision to, just this once, give in to her predator’s instincts. She settled into a crouching position and prepared to pounce on the sprinting mouse. Just as she was about to launch herself at it, the sound from before pierced the air. It was a tiny scream, which came from the mouse. Minerva started and jerked away from the creature as it shot past her, gibbering, “Oh gods oh gods oh gods! Help me, gods! Oh gods, AHHH!!!”
Her mind reeling, Minerva traced the terrified mouse’s path backwards to see what monster was pursuing it. She didn’t have to wait long. A furry body leaped into view at the row’s end, executed a neat turn, and began bounding down the row towards the mouse. The tomcat was all muscle covered in scars and thick gray fur, with one laser-focused yellow eye pointed at his prey. Minerva shrunk against the shelf and watched the spectacle as the tomcat quickly closed the distance between him and his target. Her human self flinched inside as the mouse’s last scream was cut short by the tomcat’s crushing jaws. The mouse was gone in seconds, and as the tomcat washed his claws Minerva felt its absence acutely, because now she realized there was nothing to distract the hulking predator from her. The witch suddenly recalled a memory from her youth. The time her friends had convinced her to visit a seedy tavern. That feeling of being surrounded by potential danger was well recreated by her current situation. Only this time she couldn’t just walk out the door and make tracks for safety; having no illusions about outrunning this born-hunter, she was trapped, waiting for whatever was going to happen to happen.
Finished eliminating any tasty evidence of the mouse’s existence, the tomcat known as Greebo turned his attention to the female crouched three feet away. He couldn’t have asked for a better development. While exploring his new territory, he had come across more delectable specimens of mousehood than he could devour in a single evening. He especially loved the ones that screamed, they reminded him of the child back in Lancre he’d taught a lesson to about the consequences of pulling tails. And now, after his most delicious kill yet, the gods had provided him with another kind of treat. He slowly stalked up to the female, who was in full retreat mode- ears flat against her skull, fur raised in a ridge along her back, muscles tensed to run. That was fine- Greebo liked it when females ran, too.
There was no doubt in Minerva’s mind as to what the tomcat had planned. She knew it was impossible, but still she could’ve sworn she saw the lascivious grin on his face as he prowled towards her. She started backing up, he continued to advance. Minerva was not a very small cat, but she felt kitten-sized underneath the intent stare of the looming tom. Her mind rushed to formulate an escape plan, throwing up a response with blessed speed. Minerva skittered backwards as fast as she could, putting a little more distance between her and the tom. Then, concentrating with all her power, Minerva forced her body to regain its human shape.
Greebo recoiled as his female was abruptly replaced by a human woman who looked very disturbingly like Granny Weatherwax. He mulled this event over in his canny little mind, and came to an intriguing conclusion. That was a nice trick his female pulled, he granted, but he could do better. “Rrrrooohhshiiit...” Greebo ground out until he stood up before his female, who looked suitably astonished. Greebo had been practicing his special trick, and was now so skilled he could even provide himself some clothing as he transformed, as long as that clothing was skin-tight.
Minerva gaped at the man standing in front of her. “Wh-who are you?” she stammered with as much dignity as possible.
The man grinned and ran a hand lazily through his jet hair, “Grrrreebo.”
“What are you doing here?” Minerva was making a valiant attempt not to notice the way his muscles rippled, or the way his golden eye glinted, or the way his black pants fit... Well, valiant as it was, it was still just an attempt.
“Killin’ mice. And yourrrself?” he responded. Minerva noticed that the look in his eye hadn’t changed since his transformation. What had changed was her reaction.
“Just relieving a little tension,” she said, shocked at the tone of her voice. She hadn’t used that particular tone since she had attended Hogwarts.
If it was at all possible, Greebo’s grin intensified, “Oh rrrreally? I know what’s good forrr that...”
“Do you?” What am I doing?! Minerva’s mind screamed. But she just couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the pull of Greebo’s intense charisma, maybe it was the fact that it had been so very long since Minerva had felt that pull directed at her... She knew she should fight him, but for whatever reason she couldn’t. And she didn’t want to. So she wouldn’t.
Greebo gave her a slow nod, and gently drew her into his arms. And that was all Minerva knew for some time.
<3<3<3
“Ook.”
“I understand the odds of her surviving the night are slim, but I’m afraid I must insist we continue the search.”
“Yeah, same goes for my sweet little Greebo.”
The Librarian shrugged as only an orangutan can, and took hold of the hands of Nanny Ogg and Albus Dumbledore. Utilizing his vast stores of L-space knowledge, it wasn’t much longer before the trio came upon the objects of their search. Minerva McGonagal lay propped up against a shelf, her robes disheveled and her steel gray hair loose and flowing down to her waist in mercurial waves. She had the most serene smile on her face Albus had ever seen and her hand lightly stroked a mound of lumpy gray fur on her lap.
“Greebo!” Nanny Ogg exclaimed joyfully. A head lifted up from the mound and rotated until its single yellow eye could focus on the portly witch. Then it yawned, revealing a mouthful of teeth that could stir up primal fear in the most sophisticated of beings.
Greebo stretched, digging his claws into Minerva’s hip. She jerked awake and muttered, “I said no claws, stupid cat.” Her eyes cracked open and slowly took in the sight of Dumbledore, the Librarian, and Nanny Ogg, who had scooped Greebo into her arms and was whispering nonsense syllables at him. “Ah, Albus, good morning. It is morning, isn’t it?”
“Indeed it is, Minerva. Are you all right? My friend the Librarian has informed me that the Unseen University Library can be quite a treacherous place for the unwary.”
“Me? I’m just fine, Albus. I had Greebo to- keep me company.” A giggle fluttered out of Minerva’s mouth.
“Aw,” Nanny Ogg cooed, “Such a good boy, Greebo, makin’ sure this nice lady’s safe in this nasty library.” The Librarian huffed, “Sorry, dearie, no offense meant.”
Albus helped Minerva to her feet. The professor stretched her arms above her head and arched her back, sighing in pleasure. “You’re certain you are all right, Minerva?”
“Oh yes, better than ever. I could stand to have some breakfast, though. I am slightly- worn out.” Albus watched McGonagal shoot a glance in the direction of Nanny Ogg, whose face was buried in Greebo’s fur.
“Very well, then,” Hogwarts’ headmaster said, “Mr. Librarian, if you would be so kind as to lead us back to our appropriate dimension, we should be very grateful.”
“Ook.”
“Thank you.”
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,707
Disclaimer: Oh how I wish I owned either Harry Potter or Discworld! Although the choice between being richer than god or brilliant beyond all reason would be a tough one.
Author's Notes: I wrote this ages ago, but never posted it anywhere for one reason or another. It's my sole foray into both Harry Potter and Discworld fandom.
Summary: Minerva McGonagal gets lost in L-space and makes a new... friend.
Minerva McGonagal stalked down her usual route in the library of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, her tail idly flicking back and forth. She invited the silence of the stacks to seep into her mind and smooth over the numerous worries within. Over the years of her tenure, Minerva had made it a habit to visit the library after school hours and walk off all the stress her job seemed to heap upon her. It only made sense that she do this in her feline form; the human Professor McGonagal could walk the entire span of the library in minutes, while the cat could meander around for hours among the canyon-like stacks. Unfortunately, this excursion was bringing little peace to the anxious witch. Granted, she had a great deal more on her mind than usual what with Voldemort’s increasingly violent attacks and the consequent threat to her students. She’d been plodding along row after row since dinner, waiting for some kind of calm to make itself known. Finally, desperate for any available release, Minerva broke into a trot, hoping to escape her anxiety through motion. The library blurred around her as she picked up speed, and she didn’t stop until her muscles burned and her little cat body panted for breath.
Minerva tried to get her bearings, but found it surprisingly difficult to identify her exact location. The shelves around her, though not unfamiliar, still failed to connect with any part of Minerva’s precise knowledge of the Hogwarts library. She chalked this failing up to an extended stay in her feline form; her human brain was beginning to dull. She knew she would have a devil of a time returning to her natural shape if she continued to wait for her peace of mind to arrive. Just as she was about to focus on the human Minerva, a sound caught her sensitive ears. She wasn’t certain, but the sound resembled a tiny scream. Not tiny as in faint, but tiny as if emitted by something very small. Her ears pivoted, attempting to pinpoint the sound’s source. Her sharp eyes peered into the library’s gloom and spotted a little shape rounding a corner into the row Minerva occupied. A growl rose unbidden in the professor’s throat as she identified a mouse running full speed towards her. Normally Minerva refrained from hunting as a cat; she didn’t believe in hunting for sport, and to her stalking mice instead of visiting the kitchens if she was hungry came too close for comfort. Though that didn’t mean she didn’t get the urge, occasionally.
Still aching to relieve her tension, Minerva put aside her principles in the decision to, just this once, give in to her predator’s instincts. She settled into a crouching position and prepared to pounce on the sprinting mouse. Just as she was about to launch herself at it, the sound from before pierced the air. It was a tiny scream, which came from the mouse. Minerva started and jerked away from the creature as it shot past her, gibbering, “Oh gods oh gods oh gods! Help me, gods! Oh gods, AHHH!!!”
Her mind reeling, Minerva traced the terrified mouse’s path backwards to see what monster was pursuing it. She didn’t have to wait long. A furry body leaped into view at the row’s end, executed a neat turn, and began bounding down the row towards the mouse. The tomcat was all muscle covered in scars and thick gray fur, with one laser-focused yellow eye pointed at his prey. Minerva shrunk against the shelf and watched the spectacle as the tomcat quickly closed the distance between him and his target. Her human self flinched inside as the mouse’s last scream was cut short by the tomcat’s crushing jaws. The mouse was gone in seconds, and as the tomcat washed his claws Minerva felt its absence acutely, because now she realized there was nothing to distract the hulking predator from her. The witch suddenly recalled a memory from her youth. The time her friends had convinced her to visit a seedy tavern. That feeling of being surrounded by potential danger was well recreated by her current situation. Only this time she couldn’t just walk out the door and make tracks for safety; having no illusions about outrunning this born-hunter, she was trapped, waiting for whatever was going to happen to happen.
Finished eliminating any tasty evidence of the mouse’s existence, the tomcat known as Greebo turned his attention to the female crouched three feet away. He couldn’t have asked for a better development. While exploring his new territory, he had come across more delectable specimens of mousehood than he could devour in a single evening. He especially loved the ones that screamed, they reminded him of the child back in Lancre he’d taught a lesson to about the consequences of pulling tails. And now, after his most delicious kill yet, the gods had provided him with another kind of treat. He slowly stalked up to the female, who was in full retreat mode- ears flat against her skull, fur raised in a ridge along her back, muscles tensed to run. That was fine- Greebo liked it when females ran, too.
There was no doubt in Minerva’s mind as to what the tomcat had planned. She knew it was impossible, but still she could’ve sworn she saw the lascivious grin on his face as he prowled towards her. She started backing up, he continued to advance. Minerva was not a very small cat, but she felt kitten-sized underneath the intent stare of the looming tom. Her mind rushed to formulate an escape plan, throwing up a response with blessed speed. Minerva skittered backwards as fast as she could, putting a little more distance between her and the tom. Then, concentrating with all her power, Minerva forced her body to regain its human shape.
Greebo recoiled as his female was abruptly replaced by a human woman who looked very disturbingly like Granny Weatherwax. He mulled this event over in his canny little mind, and came to an intriguing conclusion. That was a nice trick his female pulled, he granted, but he could do better. “Rrrrooohhshiiit...” Greebo ground out until he stood up before his female, who looked suitably astonished. Greebo had been practicing his special trick, and was now so skilled he could even provide himself some clothing as he transformed, as long as that clothing was skin-tight.
Minerva gaped at the man standing in front of her. “Wh-who are you?” she stammered with as much dignity as possible.
The man grinned and ran a hand lazily through his jet hair, “Grrrreebo.”
“What are you doing here?” Minerva was making a valiant attempt not to notice the way his muscles rippled, or the way his golden eye glinted, or the way his black pants fit... Well, valiant as it was, it was still just an attempt.
“Killin’ mice. And yourrrself?” he responded. Minerva noticed that the look in his eye hadn’t changed since his transformation. What had changed was her reaction.
“Just relieving a little tension,” she said, shocked at the tone of her voice. She hadn’t used that particular tone since she had attended Hogwarts.
If it was at all possible, Greebo’s grin intensified, “Oh rrrreally? I know what’s good forrr that...”
“Do you?” What am I doing?! Minerva’s mind screamed. But she just couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the pull of Greebo’s intense charisma, maybe it was the fact that it had been so very long since Minerva had felt that pull directed at her... She knew she should fight him, but for whatever reason she couldn’t. And she didn’t want to. So she wouldn’t.
Greebo gave her a slow nod, and gently drew her into his arms. And that was all Minerva knew for some time.
<3<3<3
“Ook.”
“I understand the odds of her surviving the night are slim, but I’m afraid I must insist we continue the search.”
“Yeah, same goes for my sweet little Greebo.”
The Librarian shrugged as only an orangutan can, and took hold of the hands of Nanny Ogg and Albus Dumbledore. Utilizing his vast stores of L-space knowledge, it wasn’t much longer before the trio came upon the objects of their search. Minerva McGonagal lay propped up against a shelf, her robes disheveled and her steel gray hair loose and flowing down to her waist in mercurial waves. She had the most serene smile on her face Albus had ever seen and her hand lightly stroked a mound of lumpy gray fur on her lap.
“Greebo!” Nanny Ogg exclaimed joyfully. A head lifted up from the mound and rotated until its single yellow eye could focus on the portly witch. Then it yawned, revealing a mouthful of teeth that could stir up primal fear in the most sophisticated of beings.
Greebo stretched, digging his claws into Minerva’s hip. She jerked awake and muttered, “I said no claws, stupid cat.” Her eyes cracked open and slowly took in the sight of Dumbledore, the Librarian, and Nanny Ogg, who had scooped Greebo into her arms and was whispering nonsense syllables at him. “Ah, Albus, good morning. It is morning, isn’t it?”
“Indeed it is, Minerva. Are you all right? My friend the Librarian has informed me that the Unseen University Library can be quite a treacherous place for the unwary.”
“Me? I’m just fine, Albus. I had Greebo to- keep me company.” A giggle fluttered out of Minerva’s mouth.
“Aw,” Nanny Ogg cooed, “Such a good boy, Greebo, makin’ sure this nice lady’s safe in this nasty library.” The Librarian huffed, “Sorry, dearie, no offense meant.”
Albus helped Minerva to her feet. The professor stretched her arms above her head and arched her back, sighing in pleasure. “You’re certain you are all right, Minerva?”
“Oh yes, better than ever. I could stand to have some breakfast, though. I am slightly- worn out.” Albus watched McGonagal shoot a glance in the direction of Nanny Ogg, whose face was buried in Greebo’s fur.
“Very well, then,” Hogwarts’ headmaster said, “Mr. Librarian, if you would be so kind as to lead us back to our appropriate dimension, we should be very grateful.”
“Ook.”
“Thank you.”