musesandlyrics | 9.7. Inception quote

[lotterylucky]

9.7. “I think positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time.”
Inception

Co-written with goodcoverstory

Like most one night stands and casual sex, Riley hadn't really contemplated what was supposed to happen come morning. It hadn't crossed his mind at all as the obvious attraction between him and the waitress, Lucie, increased. It had seemed inevitable that they would sleep together. There was a chance one or both of them could wake up regretting it, but what was to regret? Evidently, they were both single, and despite the whole mess with Buffy coming back into his life out of the blue, Riley realised what he needed was a night of meaningless sex to soothe his increasing stress levels. He hadn't minded they picked his home, either. It was closest to the bar, walking distance, even, but he would he lying if he didn't admit to not really expecting Lucie to still be there come morning. Wasn't that what a one night stand was all about? Get in, enjoy it, and then get back out again?


Though, for the second time that morning, Riley started to wake up, his room bathed with light coming through his less than adequate curtains. He really had to recitify that situation. He had been awake briefly earlier, always typically a very earlier riser, but after the realisation he was still spooned naked up behind Lucie, he must have just dozed off again. He knew he needed the sleep. He had been ultra stressed with Buffy showing up in Paris, everything to do with Blaise Richelieu, and now the attack on Rory Buchanan. He had also been ill, which had more than zapped his energy. A night of sex, which included no less than four rounds, including some extremely heavy making out in his kitchen, he was obviously still trying to recharge. Even now, he was reluctant to wake up and move so much, but he soon became aware that there was movement in his bed and he cracked his eyes open a little to find Lucie shifting in the bed slowly, watching him like she was worried she was going to wake him up. Riley was lying on his stomach with the covers pulled up around his chin and he smirked a little. "Trying to make a hasty getaway?" he asked her huskily, remaining in the position he was with his cheek smashed into the edge of the pillow. "Want me to play dead so you can escape without awkwardness? I'll pretend I didn't see a thing."

"Dead people don't talk, so now the mood is ruined," Nina responded in a whisper and immediately stopped moving. She honestly hadn't meant to stay the night. As soon as she'd fallen asleep though, it was the first time she had truly let herself relax in this city. Now she had to rethink her strategy because as much as she'd wanted to make a getaway, it all seemed so much easier when Riley wasn't asleep and looking at her with those eyes. Or making bed hair seem so sexy. She rolled onto her side to move closer to him and kissed his cheek over the top of the covers. "J'ai besoin de faire pipi. I'll be just a moment unless you want me to go."

Riley drew in a deep breath through his nose and then sighed. "Mm-m. You don't need to leave unless you want to," he assured her, relaxing back into the spot he had woken up in. Just because he was an early riser, didn't mean it didn't take a good while for him to actually get on the go. He needed his coffee as much as the next person. "And we never know. Dead people might talk. Just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen." It was strange, he seriously couldn't remember his bed ever being this comfortable.

Nina frowned a little at the comment before she smiled again. "Not sure I want to see it. I like my dreams to not turn into nightmares." Most of the time she did, anyway. There were still the few nightmares that she couldn't escape. "I'll be right back, d'accord? Keep the bed warm." She ruffled his hair affectionately before Nina slipped from the bed to do exactly what she said. She managed to find the bathroom again, an urge to pee genuinely what had woken her up. If it hadn't been for her bladder she might have slept on clueless to the fact that she was still in Riley's arms. She nearly ran back into his bed, the morning air starting to get a chill to it. "See? No running away..."

Riley had somehow still managed to stay in the comfortable position on his stomach while fishing for his cell phone on his nightstand. He had the phone to his ear, listening to Blaise's voicemail in his native tongue. The Kindred Prince even told him he hoped he felt better soon. Riley knew he would eventually have to get out of bed and meet with Blaise regarding Rory. However, there was another message from Graham telling him there was no change with the Scot, but that there were plans to stop the sedation the next morning. He reached over to put his phone back and then rolled over onto his side, smiling at her. "Well, that's a relief. I wasn't calling for a rescue squad, either, so we must be at least in the same chapter... maybe even on the same page. I'll be honest here, a day in bed is exactly what I need after my week, but I will have to make an escape sometime later this afternoon. But if you really aren't going to run away, maybe we should make the most of the time we have?"

Nina reached out to trail her fingertips over Riley's shoulder and arm, smiling as she felt his warm skin. She couldn't deny he was hot, and he had that Iowa boy charm that was hard to say no to. Then there was the fact he was military, and that just seemed to make him even more attractive. There was a scar on his face that trailed from his eyebrow down the inside of his eye, and then there was what looked like a surgical scar about his pectoral muscle. There had to be stories to them, but she wasn't quite ready to ask them. Staying in bed with him for a day was one thing, they could keep it casual. Talking and swapping war stories was something else entirely. Besides, she couldn't even begin to tell him hers. She was undercover. As far as he was concerned, the scar on the back of her shoulder could have come from an angry customer. "Oui, d'accord. Today is my day off anyway, so I am in no great rush. You don't mind wasting some of your precious time on me?"

Riley laughed and draped his arm behind his head to rest his head on it. "My spare time isn't so precious anyway. I usually wind up being bored and go to work anyway. This apartment is all just a ruse to pretend I actually have a life," he joked. "Just for the record, though, please don't feel you have to stay just because I'm asking. If you want it to just be... last night, then it can be. I'll just give you a polite wave across the restaurant when I eat there next, and it'll be all good. You just really helped me out. It's exactly what I needed."

Nina made a noise of disapproval before she shifted closer to Riley and nipped playfully at his shoulder as she slipped her hand under the covers to run her palm over his ass and brush her fingers over his length as she reacquainted herself with his body in the light of day. Four rounds the night before and she still hadn't lost interest. "Sounds almost as bad as my use of spare time. I find myself sitting around watching movies or reading more often than not. Nothing exciting. I want to be here, mon amour. Polite wave? I think we can do better. I'm happy to have helped."

Riley let out a shaky breath and let his eyes fall closed, resting his tongue between his lips as he indulged in the feeling of her hands touching him again. This was the whole beauty of casual sex. No strings, just enjoying it for what it was. "Yeah, but I bet you work hard to deserve the downtime. Not everyone is cut out for a life of adventure. But, and no offense by this, I still find it hard to believe someone like you could have such an average life. You're gorgeous, and I know you aren't shy. It makes me want to ask what your story is. You said your family is away in the countryside, but don't you have friends here? People that mean something to you?"

This was the part that Nina was afraid of. In a way it didn't disappoint her that Riley was asking for her story and wanted to know more. It held a hint that maybe this could go past one night, but she was still scared. He wouldn't understand if she did pull away, if she did try and ignore the question. He was military which meant he was either going to start digging harder, or just take the hint and leave her alone. She wasn't sure which one was worse. She kissed at his chest and throat as she continued to touch him, her hand slipping further back as she cupped his balls. "Merci for saying I'm gorgeous, but not everyone needs an above average life either. Perhaps not all are cut out adventure but what would you consider average? I still go out, I do have friends. When you work six days a week it just keeps making it harder to drag yourself out to make with the partying. And just because I do not have a boyfriend, you find this strange? We are all capable of getting broken hearts, of being damaged."

"Whoa, okay. I did not mean my comments to turn into some sort of need for psychoanalysis of broken hearts and romantic damage. I really did not mean it to," Riley said, holding up his hand and shifting to sit up against the pillows so he could look down at her. If ever there was a mood killer for Riley, that would be it. "Really. Did not. I was only curious, that's all. I just don't buy for one minute that anyone comes to live in Paris just for no reason at all. Everyone seems to have a reason for coming here, especially someone who grew up in the country. And six days a week as a waitress? I don't mean to sound like a prick with this, but isn't that actually slave labour? Six full days, every single week, as a waitress? Now, I like that restaurant and all, but it's not exactly the Taj Mahal or the Plaza in New York. But ignore me. Seriously. I'm military. I read into anything. Bad habit."

Nina let out a sigh as she pulled her hand away and rolled onto her back to look up at the ceiling. She was losing her touch. That had to be it. She was losing focus with the undercover work. She couldn't even lie properly to a guy just because he'd given her amazing orgasms. "Je suis desole... And no, it's not slave labour. I get casual rates. I am not employed full time so the money is better. Paris is not a cheap city to live in. You come from the country with not much money at all, and you need to start by working as much as you can. I wanted to be in the city, I wasn't going to live out my life on a vineyard."

"Yet, even full time workers still get a weekend. Two days. Freedom of two days," Riley said for emphasis and then made an apologetic zipping motion across his lips. "Who am I to judge? Maybe waitressing is just awesome. I really wouldn't know. No one would ever employ me as a waitress because I would suck at it. A vineyard in France and you don't have much money? Shit, I'm sorry. I'll shut up. Seriously. Here, let me Google the weather and we can talk about that." He picked up his iPod and connected to the internet, only to be bombarded by a string of emails from Buffy about Rory and one from Airlie threatening his penis and prostate if Rory wasn't well taken care of.

Nina glanced at Riley and arched her eyebrow at the expression on his face. There was no way he was looking at the weather. "And yet I doubt you take off two days out of every week, oui? Always working, even just out of boredom. Was that not what you said? Maybe I am just not as good at this morning talk as I had hoped. I am not as good at talking about anything. Maybe that explains why someone like me is alone."

"I'm programmed to overwork. No, seriously. I am. Was. Just, old habits die hard." Riley exited his inbox and Googled the local weather for Paris. "Twenty six. Sunny. Mild. Well, that's boring. Can't even find a decent storm or hurricane to talk about. I'm also a Sergeant. I'm in charge of my unit. There are certain levels of committment expected of Sergeants. It was the oath I took to my country when I joined the forces. I don't work for money, I work to protect. I didn't say I worked out of boredom, I said boredom is what led me back to work. There is a distinct difference there. Or maybe you just don't want me asking questions so I don't figure out your secrets," he finally added with a hint of a smirk, his eyes on the screen of his cell phone.

"I think your secrets would be more interesting than mine," she replied quietly as she kept watching him. "I'm sorry for ruining the moment. The morning... Perhaps we can start over? No need to bring the weather into this. It sounds like a nice day actually. Despite the fact that I would still rather stay between these sheets than get my bottom frozen again. How about we make a deal? Five questions each. If we don't want to answer them, then we need to give up something else. I'd say clothes, but we are already naked."

Riley raised his eyebrows slightly, wondering how on his toes he could remain still being what he would consider comfortably post-coital. "If we don't answer, we have to voluntarily give up another truth, no lying," he bargained. "Ladies first."

"D'accord, deal." Nina rolled over so that she was on her stomach and hugging the pillow as she looked up at him. "Why did you join the military?"

"Why not?" Riley replied with a laugh and then held his hands up. "Okay, okay. I come from a long line of military men. It was expected. Plus, small town Iowa boy, it's generally either military or the police force. We are brought up with a very masculine sense that men need to do their bit. Sound screwed enough for you? My turn. What career did you want before you got forced into waitressing? Everyone has dreams."

Nina gave a shake of her head as best she could from where it was resting against the pillow. "Non, not screwed. It's just very... traditional. That's not a bad thing. I think that perhaps it is something that suits you. A man in uniform is not to be sniffed at," she added with a laugh. The smile and laugh faltered at his question though and Nina sucked in a breath. What career had she wanted? Maybe she didn't have to lie about that one so much. "Foreign news correspondent. I never got around to studying journalism of any sort." She pulled her hand out from under the pillow and touched the surgical scar on his chest. "How did you get this?"

Riley's forehead creased a little, but he made no comment on her apparent choice of career. He was trying to shake the sensation that she was lying to him, but he couldn't. Still, it was only a one night stand, right? If she wanted to lie to him, it was her prerogative. "I'm still a traditional guy at heart." He looked down at her hand, fingers touching the scar on his chest. "I had a heart attack. They operated to fix my heart when it happened," he replied, even if it was stretching the truth. It was still the truth, it just wasn't the whole truth. The truth was that the initial scar was when he cut himself open to remove the chip controlling him.

"Nothing wrong with traditional," Nina murmured, her own forehead creasing a little. The scar seemed in an odd place for heart surgery but perhaps that just depended on the sort of surgery. She had always assumed it came with rib spreaders and a scar running down the middle of the chest. "I am sad to hear about the heart attack. So young... No one deserves one. It's your turn."

"My heart's pretty resilient," Riley replied, clearing his throat softly. With the confronting subject matter, he forgot it was his turn. He was always unnerved when it came to the subject of what The Initiative did to him. Even to this day, he and Graham avoided talking about it to each other. "You mentioned heartbreak. Was it a bad break up that had you shying away from relationships?"

Nina smiled a little, even if it tinged with sadness. "I can believe that about your heart. And oui, it was. I lost a lover. He... died." Nina managed not to choke up. A couple of years on and it was getting easier to talk about. She just had the luxury of not needing to talk about it to many people. "I realise that time, and everything like that is supposed to heal wounds but it's hard to let someone close when you realise that you really could lose them at any moment."

For some reason, this just immediately made Riley back off. He pulled away even more to sit up straighter in the bed. "I'm sorry. I am. No one should have to go through that." And no way was he going to touch another relationship where someone was getting over losing a lover, whether it be dead or an evil vampire. Too much still hurt on how he could never live up to Buffy's expectations in the wake of Angel. Riley couldn't go through that again. Dejavu felt like it was smacking him in the face. If she was freely admitting to not being able to let anyone close because of those issues, than this really, really had to be nothing more than a one night stand, no matter how much fun they had. Why couldn't he just meet someone he didn't have to come second best for? First Buffy with Angel, then bloody Sam with... herself. Now a dead lover? Absolutely not. He would rather be alone than have to go through that again. "I'm hungry. Are you? I'm going to make some breakfast." The last thing he was was hungry, but that didn't stop him pushing the sheets back to lean over to find his pants.

"Riley, attente. Wait." Nina sat up in the bed, her blonde hair falling around her face as she leaned over to touch Riley's back. She knew that a dead lover was never going to be easy to deal with, but she couldn't understand why he was so ready to bolt. Did it mean he did want this to go further than one night? "It's my turn," she reminded him quietly. "Why are you so ready to get away from me?"

Riley sighed and picked up his pants, pulling them on slowly. There were so many ways he could answer that without really even giving a proper response. "Because my heart isn't as resilient as I like to pretend it is," he admitted and turned to look at her. "I can't follow up behind a dead lover. This was nice, it was fantastic, and I had a lot of fun. But it's probably just better for everyone that this is what it stays at."

Nina pushed the sheets away from her as she knelt up on the bed to be closer to Riley's height and shuffled forward to take his hands in hers as she held his gaze. "Who says this is about you following them up? This is about me not being ready to risk getting hurt again. I just never found the right person. Never let myself find them. Riley, I wouldn't have even been in your bed in the first place if I wasn't ready for something. I could kid myself all I wanted into it being a one night thing. And maybe it still will be, but we've still got a few hours together. Only, I stayed. I slept next to you. I still want to be with you. I think about seeing you again and it's not as scary a concept as it should be if I was really that damaged. If I was still hung up on him. You make me smile, you make me laugh. You interest me. And your body... Well, it really is something else, soldier. How am I really going to say no to that? I'm not going to put you second. Not if you let me show you..."

"I've heard all this before, Lucie, and all I got for being patient and understanding was a whole heap of being pushed away and not needed. You say you're not ready to risk getting hurt again. Well, you know what? I'm not sure I am either. Because it always feels like I'm the one getting thrown under the bus. Ready for 'something'? You know, I'm not sure that's enough for me to put everything on the line all over again." Riley put a hand up and rubbed the back of his neck, and then just let it rest there helplessly. He couldn't believe he was facing yet another situation like this. Was he ever going to have a chance of someone just falling deeply in love with him without him needing to compete with bad past baggage all the time? Maybe it was selfish and maybe it was stupid, but he couldn't help still being hurt by what he went through with Buffy. She let him walk away, didn't even want to fight for him, didn't care if he wanted to fight for her. "What you're saying is not giving me a whole heap of confidence here. 'Not as scary'? Ready for 'something'. What if you wake up and realise that 'something' isn't the something you thought it was? Where the hell does that leave me? You stayed, you slept with me. Am I supposed to thank you for that? I don't know what you want me to say right now, I really don't. The first thing you said was it's hard to let anyone close. Lucie, I've been here before and I really don't want to be here again. I want a relationship where I can feel happy more often than I feel like I'm fighting against someone. That's all."

Nina fell quiet as she sat back down on the bed, and rest her head in her hand. The truth was she had no way of guaranteeing that she could make him happy. Lucie could. Lucie was just a waitress, and suddenly that life seemed so much easier to deal with. She didn't want to be Nina and Lucie. She just wanted to be the girl that would make Riley happy. For some inexplicable reason, all of a sudden she did want to be able to put this man as a priority. He seemed like he deserved it more than anything. Only even if it ever came to him finding out who she was, how was that going to help? There was also no guarantee that 'Lucie' was going be around for very long. One night with Riley and she was ready to spill her guts. "A relationship is still something that takes time... that needs to develop. We're still only on the first night here. And we haven't even had a date yet. What if this is more than something, but we just need to find out?"

"Oh, I know. Trust me, I know all about time. Waiting... and more damn waiting." Riley got up and pointed to the door. "I need coffee, if nothing else," he told her and started to make his way to the kitchen. Maybe he needed coffee with a good hit of vodka in it, but he really had no interest in a hangover over the bug he was on the tail end of. He definitely didn't want to rock up to the meeting with Blaise giggling like a drunk sixteen year old on prom night, either. He flicked the kettle on and rested his splayed palms on the kitchen counter top. Right now, he was more than a little cursing Buffy internally for leaving him damaged like this. One night in, and he was already making with the awkward relationship emo like a fucked up head case. He was just really convinced he couldn't follow up beind a dead lover.

In the bedroom Nina got up off the bed and cursed the air blue. This wasn't how she had planned to spent the day. She hadn't expected an exercise in actually bringing each other closer was going to wind up driving them apart. She picked up his shirt and pulled it on. It only just managed to cover her body, and Nina hugged her arms tight around herself as she went to follow Riley into the kitchen. He had his back to her as she entered the kitchen and Nina walked quietly up behind him before she slipped her arms around his torso and pushed her palms up over his chiselled chest as she kissed over the back of his shoulders. "Just give me the rest of the day, Riley. Then see where we stand."

"I can't give you the rest of the day, I have that business meeting with someone who really doesn't like being kept waiting," Riley reminded her with a sigh. Or rather, would more have a tendency to do his own thing if Riley wasn't on time to agree or disagree with his plans. He looked out the window at the buildings across from his apartment block. Everything was so old and charming. It was ironic what the beauty of the French capital hid in the shadows. It wasn't always evil lurking there, just... unrest. That was a sensation Riley was extremely familiar with. "I'm not sure my life would be conducive to a relationship anyway. I tried it, never works," he soon added quietly, yet honestly.

Nina kept trailing her lips over his skin as she indulged in the physical contact. Her mouth moved up to the side of his neck and she sucked at it to leave another love bite. "Alright, then just a couple of hours. And maybe... another night when you find yourself with some free time? We could just indulge in some fun, just see where it takes us. There doesn't have to be a relationship. Just enjoying each other. Making each other happy."

Riley was quiet at first and he rested his hand on her arm. "Are you being honest with me?" he found coming out of his mouth. It was his turn, afterall, and he had no idea why the question came to the forefront right now. "Because I'm not being entirely honest with you. I just want you to know that right off the bat. If the time comes that you need to know certain information, I'll tell you, but I work in a highly classified operation. You need to know I'm going to veil things. I've been veiling things most of my life."

Nina swallowed as she looked at him and then rest her chin on his shoulder. This was supposed to be the part where she lied, and said that she was being honest with him. She just struggled to make the words actually leave her lips and cursed her sudden inability to perform under pressure. "I'm in no position to judge you," she finally said. "I'm being as honest as I can be right now, and you need to believe me when I say that I more than understand how you feel. You have no idea just how much, but I can't tell you everything right now. I just... you've already gotten under my skin."

Riley pressed his lips together and untangled himself from her arms to turn around and look at her. He just didn't know what the hell he wanted anymore. If she turned around and told him she was a Slayer, he was pretty sure he would vomit. For that, he was relieved she wasn't saying anything more. "I think," he began quietly and calmly, "that we both need to walk away right now and seriously think about what we're playing at here. You know what the only thing worse than one person needing to lie in a relationship? Two people lying."

Nina looked at him before she gave a nod. He was right. Of course he was right. She'd also said too much already. The lines between truth and fiction were definitely starting to blur. She didn't have the energy for undercover anymore, and she had to seriously wonder when she'd lost it. "Oui, d'accord. I'll go. I hope your meeting goes well, and that you... take care." She gave him a slight smile before she headed back to the bedroom to find her own clothes and just get out. She shouldn't have stayed.

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