(no subject)
i dont think there are words to explain how im feeling right now...im so confused...
im happy, but at the same time im sad... im really pissed, but at the same time im not...im extremely annoyed, but at the same time im not...im really comfortable(with myself and my friends), but at the same time im not. i dont know...its really complicated...and im not PMSing...i wish i was, it would make everything a lot easier...
i read a conversation between me and cosio last night...and at the time of the convo (october) i was ecstatic...everything with everyone and everything was amazing & i was so happy...and last night when i read the convo it was just depressing because it reminded me of how happy and comfortable and whatever...i was at that time and im always a very happy person..but that convo made me realize im really not as happy as i could be and i was so much better off then...and it really wasnt even that long ago...i know there are things i could have and should have done and thought about doing then but was too afraid to do them and now i regret that...but thpse things would have most likely been so good for me now and i wish i could redo everything...i think maybe im just a little jealous of something with someone...if your one of my best friends you probably already know what im talking about because im sure youve noticed and maybe just not wanted to say anything to me...but now im noticing too and if you dont know what im talking about and your one of my close friends just call me and even if i dont tell you right now, its not because were not close enough its because i cant right now and if you just call it tells me that you care and that will just make me feel better even though i probably wont say much you might just have to give me a phone hug or if i see you tonight, a real one....
im so excited just to be with the girls tonight...im sick of boys
comment or call to make me feel better...a hug would be great too...
theres two people i want to talk to right now but i cant...im going to cry...