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Title: Pain and Belonging
Author: green78
Rating: M/NC-17
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Disclaimer: I own nothing. No infringement intended.
Mistress Kahlan’s walk was so brisk it was nearly a run as she headed towards the throne room in the People’s Palace. Lord Richard Rahl had sent for her specifically and she alone, so she could only assume it had something to do with the siege on Aydindril. She had planned that for weeks, months, and had been infuriated when she was told she couldn’t accompany her Sisters when the time for action actually came. The Lord Rahl had insisted, however, that he needed his best Mord’Sith at his side while so many others were away along with many of his troops and had assured Kahlan that she would be well-rewarded for her compliance. She had seen the troops and her Sisters return from her place at the battlements that morning, and if the celebratory cheers were anything to go by, she was about to get her reward.
Kahlan strode through the doors of the throne room without so much as a preamble, head held high as she approached the throne. The Lord Rahl was already looking in her direction and couldn’t help but smile as he detected her eagerness. “Kahlan,” he greeted her, standing and opening his arms in welcome. He and the head Mord’Sith were close, sharing almost a sort of friendship between them. To everyone else they maintained their expected roles, with Richard always referring to her as Mistress and Kahlan only ever calling him “my lord.” In private, however, they were on a first-name basis, and spoke candidly and casually, sometimes saying things to each other that would have made even the roughest of soldiers and most pertinent of nobles gasp, scandalized.
“Richard,” the Mord’Sith said in return, clapping him on the shoulder as he did the same to her. “I hear that the siege went well?”
Richard chuckled. “Drop the formalities, Kahlan, we both know you just want your reward for staying home and pouting.”
Kahlan crossed her arms and turned up her nose exaggeratedly. “I do not pout, thank you.”
“Of course not,” the Lord Rahl grinned, prompting Kahlan to roll her eyes. “But to answer the question you already know the answer to, yes, the siege went very well. In fact, Aydindril is in ruins.”
Kahlan’s eyes sparkled with twisted excitement. “Really?”
“Indeed, your plan worked perfectly.”
It took all of Kahlan’s willpower not to laugh with exultation; instead, she allowed a triumphant smile to grace her features. “And the wizard Zorander?”
It was Richard’s turn to smirk, his own eyes gleaming with wicked anticipation. “Mine to do with as I please,” he replied. “The old man will finally get the punishment he deserves.” He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh as if savoring what was to come. “His screams will be sweet music in our dungeons.” He allowed himself to revel in victory for a moment, Kahlan waiting patiently, before opening his eyes again. “Now, you, my dear, get the second-greatest reward,” he continued, moving to get something from behind the throne.
Kahlan rolled her eyes, but smirked nonetheless. “As the wizard was yours to begin with, I’ll consider it the greatest, if it’s all the same to you.”
Richard shrugged, grinning over his shoulder as he fiddled with something out of Kahlan’s sight. “Only the best for you,” he quipped. Kahlan saw then that he was winding a rope around his hand, and when he stepped away from the throne, he tugged it with him. “Ta da!”
Kahlan gaped. At the other end of the rope, her white dress stained, a Rada’Han around her neck, was…
“Cara, the Mother Confessor!” Lord Rahl said proudly, “and she’s all yours!” The woman’s head was bent in defeat, and Richard yanked on her long blonde hair, forcing sorrowful gray-green eyes to meet the elation in Kahlan’s ice-blue gaze.
“Mine?” Kahlan confirmed, her voice fairly quivering with malicious desire.
“Yours,” Richard repeated, shoving the woman at her. Kahlan caught her and looked her over as if she were a prize animal, running her leather-gloved fingers over the tan, smooth skin of her face and neck, her arms, her firm breasts, the curve of her ass. The Mother Confessor shivered, and Kahlan pushed her hair away to see that she had begun to blush with embarrassment. Gripping her tightly around the waist, Kahlan looked back at the Lord Rahl.
“Did you need me for anything else, or may I go play?”
Richard laughed outright. “Knock yourself out. I have toys to go play with myself.”
“Thank you!” Kahlan called over her shoulder as she hoisted the woman over her other shoulder. She marched proudly from the throne room and headed straight for the dungeons, her prize quivering and sniffling. Kahlan knew that to lead a prisoner away was one thing, but to carry them as such was sheer humiliation, and the Mother Confessor’s reaction to such was already making Kahlan’s leathers more than a little uncomfortable.
Oh, yes, she was going to have fun with this one.
……………………
When Cara was naked and hanging by her wrists, Kahlan took more time to examine her. This time she took off her gloves, wanting to feel the other woman’s skin beneath her fingertips. She ran her hands over her again, more slowly this time, but not with the gentleness of someone whose aim was to please. Instead, she smirked as she ran her thumb over the fullness of Cara’s lips, palmed her taut stomach, cupped her breasts as she tweaked the nipples, squeezed the firm muscles of her ass, all the while the blonde looking away, tears rolling down her cheeks. Cara was a fine specimen; there were no doubts there. Without warning, Kahlan spread the woman’s legs and slid a finger into her, evoking a choked gasp from the Mother Confessor. Kahlan’s smirk became a full-out grin - a virgin. Oh, this would be fun indeed.
She tilted her head as she studied Cara’s flushed expression, never removing her hand. She was surprised to discover that the Mother Confessor was wet, and upon closer inspection, noticed that her blush was more of arousal than shame. Still, Kahlan had been running her hands all over her, and she had the feeling that Cara wasn’t used to being touched in certain places, and thus any sort of touch at all would evoke a response.
Good to know, Kahlan thought with a smirk, removing her finger and sucking it clean. The Mother Confessor’s taste was pleasing, and she couldn’t wait to sample it with her blood.
Kahlan slipped her gloves back on and took hold of Cara’s chin, forcing the woman to look at her once again. The defeat in the blonde’s eyes sent another wave of arousal coursing through her, and she tightened her grip. “When I give you permission to speak, you will refer to me as ‘Mistress’ or ‘Mistress Kahlan.’ You are mine, and only mine, and will obey only me.” She ran a hand down her cheek, and was startled when the woman leaned into the touch. She slapped her hard in retaliation. “Are we clear?”
“Yes, Mistress Kahlan,” Cara whispered.
Kahlan was stunned by her lack of resistance, but maintained her mask of cruelty as she went to the table that contained an array of various methods of torture. She was legendary among her Sisters for never starting with her Agiels, but first with tools, and somehow managing to break people all the harder. Though others had tried to do the same, they never succeeded as Kahlan did, and eventually stuck to using their agiels. What they didn’t realize was that it was Kahlan’s words along with her tools that broke so well. To keep this secret preserved, no one but the Lord Rahl was allowed to witness Kahlan’s work; all others were forbidden.
“Knives, do you think?” Kahlan asked as she picked up a sharp but still painful-looking knife.
“Whatever pleases you, Mistress,” Cara mumbled.
Kahlan smiled, twirling the knife in her hands as she walked back to where Cara was chained. “It was a rhetorical question, but I’m glad that your answer was at least properly respectful - and correct.” She gripped the blonde by the back of the neck and drew her closer to whisper in her ear. “Because I will do with you whatever it is I please, my little whore, and you will thank me for every minute of it, won’t you?”
“Yes, Mistress,” Cara choked.
“There’s a good girl,” Kahlan purred. She stepped back a moment and looked Cara up and down, tapping the flat of the knife against her chin in mock thought. “Hmm, now where should I cut first? Where do I want my first taste of blood?” She trailed the dull end of the knife along Cara’s arm, and the blonde visibly trembled. Kahlan continued to drag the knife around her body, stopping here and there as if in consideration. By the time she got to the spot above Cara’s left breast, the blonde was shaking violently, eyes wide with fear and something else Kahlan couldn’t quite identify. “Here, I think,” Kahlan decided, making a long, slow cut - deep enough to draw a fair amount of blood and quickly, but not deep enough to do any permanent damage. Cara whimpered, letting out a piteous moan as Kahlan bent down and sucked at the wound, digging her teeth into the gash for added pain.
The Mord’Sith was smiling when she finally pulled her hear away, licking her lips, but her smug delight turned to cold fury when she saw the expression on Cara’s face. She understood, then, the expression she hadn’t been able to determine - it was arousal.
Kahlan roared with fury and flung the knife to the side gripping the Rada’Han and pulling Cara forward. “You enjoyed that, you little whore ! Who’s gotten to you first?!” She slapped her hard, splitting her lip. “Tell me! Who broke you first?!”
“No one, Mistress Kahlan!” Cara cried. “I’ve only been yours! I swear it!”
“You lie!” Kahlan screamed slapping her again even harder. She let go of the Rada’Han and gripped her throat, squeezing hard enough to know she’d leave satisfying bruises in her wake. “Tell me who!”
“No…one…Mistress!” she gasped before falling unconscious.
Kahlan let go and slapped her one last time, knowing she’d at least feel it when she awoke. Turning on her heel, she stormed from the chamber and straight for the throne room, determined to get answers.
……………………
Richard was thankfully alone when Kahlan burst through the throne room doors, but even had he not been, Kahlan still doubted she would have been able to curb her tongue. “Richard!” She demanded, causing him to look up and noting that his face and clothes were spattered with blood. “Richard, who got to her first?!”
Richard frowned, going back to cleaning his face with a wet cloth. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s already broken!” Kahlan exclaimed, throwing up her arms in exasperation. “She calls me ‘Mistress’ without hesitation or defiance and she enjoys the pain! It arouses her as much as it does me!”
Richard arched an eyebrow at this, trying not to smirk. “So what makes you think someone got to her before you did? I gave specific orders she was not to be broken on the return journey, and to the best of my knowledge, they were followed.”
“How else would she be so subservient?” Kahlan asked, frustrated to the point where she was almost whining. “She’s the Mother Confessor, and yet she doesn’t even try to resist me! It’s like she wants it!”
These last words made Richard pause for a moment, and a slow smile spread across his face. “Did you ever think that maybe she was broken before we even attacked Aydindril?” At Kahlan’s look of complete bafflement, Richard continued, “People can break without the help of the Agiel, Kahlan - it’s just more subtle, and takes more time. Think about it for a minute - she’s spent years with the weight of the world on her shoulders and in that time taken the verbal abuse of countless nobles; she’s spent sleepless nights wondering if the judgments she made were the correct ones and if she was right to Confess the people she did, and she faces the scrutiny of all the Midlands even as she is the center of their adoration, and thus had to abandon her own identity to become the person the people wanted. After all the years she’s been looked at with adoring eyes and been called ‘Mistress,’ maybe she just wants to let go and do the same.”
Kahlan narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “You seem to have quite the insight,” she commented, arching an eyebrow at him.
Richard grinned. “She told me this herself. After I had sent for you and was tying her behind the throne, she thanked me for all of this. When I asked her why, she explained.” He shrugged. “She may be broken, Kahlan, but you can still make her yours.”
“That I will,” Kahlan replied, ideas already churning in her head. She once again glanced at the state of Richard’s clothes. “Having fun, are we?” she asked, gesturing to his appearance.
He looked down at himself and grinned. “Quite,” he replied. “I’m only taking a break because he passed out and I was hungry. He should be awake soon though.” The thought made his grin turn devious as he rubbed his hands together before lacing his fingers together and cracking his knuckles. The action made Kahlan smile in return.
“Mine should be coming around soon as well, and I’d hate for her to wake up all alone,” she said with mock-sympathy. “I really should be there for…comfort….”
Richard laughed and shook his head. “I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.”
……………………
Cara woke to the feel of gentle hands stroking her cheek, and when she saw that it was Mistress Kahlan, smiling at her, her gloves gone, she thought she was hallucinating. “My sweet little Confessor whore,” Kahlan purred, dispelling Cara’s disbelief. The Mord’Sith examined the wound above her breast, which had stopped bleeding and had scarcely begun to scab over, and pinched it harshly. It reopened almost instantly, and Cara whimpered at the fresh pain. Kahlan smiled and dragged her tongue along the length of the cut, making the Confessor shiver.
“You did like that, didn’t you?” Kahlan whispered, licking her lips. She trailed her fingers down Cara’s cheek. “To you, that’s not pain at all. But maybe this is….” Kahlan dragged a gentle hand down Cara’s back, and the Confessor shuddered, this time in fear and a hint of genuine agony. Kahlan’s smile widened as she moved around to stand behind Cara, gently massaging her shoulders and kissing her neck. “But isn’t this so much nicer?” the brunette murmured against soft skin, her hands making soothing motions on Cara’s back and shoulders. “Doesn’t this feel good?”
“Please, Mistress…it hurts!” Cara moaned, desperate for the touch to end, glorious and horrific all at once. Tears were streaming down her face again, and she shook with the effort to contain her sobs.
“Then tell me, Cara,” Kahlan commanded. “Tell me why the pain gives you pleasure.”
Cara gasped and nodded, quickly adding, “Yes, Mistress.” She took a deep breath. “The worst of them were always gentle, even when they weren’t even touching me nor had no reason to. The nobles in court - they could have been trying to persuade me to accept their treaty, or arguing furiously with me when I turned them down, but they were always so gentle, as if I were to be coddled - as if, despite the years and years of Mother Confessors being the law of the Midlands, I was somehow fragile, just for being a woman. My sister Confessors told me that the people whispered about me being too young to be Mother Confessor - called to early. I did my best, always my best, Mistress, and there was peace, but I will never know if it was because of my strength as a ruler or because no one wanted to risk me having to make decisions on a greater scale than those of local, petty disagreements.” She allowed a single sob to escape her. “So many people tried to claim at least a part of the rulership, but I never let them, Mistress.” She turned her head slightly to look at Kahlan. “Never.”
At Kahlan’s nod of permission, Cara continued. “Then there were the men I’d had to Confess, and everyone telling me I should take one as a mate.” She shuddered, disgusted. “I tried to take them to bed, Mistress, but I couldn’t. I was so repulsed by all of them and the way they looked at me with such adoration and touched me with such Spirits-forsaken reverence. It made me sick, knowing that all of it was because of Confession, and I ended up sending them all away before they could even undress me. I just wanted someone to really look at me as someone other than their Mistress or Mother Confessor. It hurt so much, Mistress - the looks, the touches. It all made my head hurt, and nothing made it better until it hurt for real.” She shivered again, this time at the thought of the agony that somehow healed her. “That was when it was good to hurt, Mistress - it felt so good. But I could never tell anyone, or they’d think I was crazy.”
She turned her head to look at Kahlan again. “You’ve felt that I’ve never lain with another, Mistress Kahlan,” she said, blushing slightly at her own straightforwardness. “It’s the one thing left of me that’s still me, and not what everyone wants me to be.”
Kahlan drew her Agiel and stood facing the Confessor, gripping her by the chin again and pulling her close. “Answer me this then, Cara,” she whispered, lips nearly brushing hers, “would you rather continue to be safe under your title as Mother Confessor or would you rather bleed and scream as my whore?”
Cara’s eyes widened when she saw the Agiel, but Kahlan could see the desire below the surface once more. “Please, Mistress,” she gasped. “I want to be your whore.”
“Then that’s all you’ll ever be,” Kahlan growled, jamming the Agiel into Cara’s stomach. The Confessor screamed once before the sound turned into a series of strangled moans as her body writhed in pain-laced pleasure. Kahlan pulled the Agiel from her stomach and instead laid it across the cut on her breast; this time the scream she evoked was from genuine pain, sending a flood of arousal between Kahlan’s thighs. The Mord’Sith went to the wheel on the side of the room and abruptly released the chains, causing Cara to cry out as she dropped to the floor. Kahlan went and untied her wrists, hauling her to her feet. “Help me undo my leathers. Now!”
Cara complied without hesitation, fumbling slightly with the buckles as Kahlan deftly undid the ties. Together they made swift work of the leathers, and soon Kahlan stood as naked as Cara did. She grabbed the woman by the wrist and dragged her forcefully out of the room and down the hall, pulling her into one of the first doors they came to.
Kahlan locked and bolted the door of her room behind her before leading Cara to the large bed. She threw the Confessor down on her back before grabbing her wrists again and forcing them into the shackles on the iron posts. She was almost ashamed of how quickly the woman’s pain had made her this wet, but the sweetness of her blood and screams and submission had worked Kahlan into a frenzy. Once the Confessor was secured, Kahlan straddled her so that her center was poised just over Cara’s mouth. “Now, whore, pleasure me,” the brunette commanded.
Cara gasped, though her mouth watered at the sight of her Mistress’s dripping core. “Mistress Kahlan, I have never - ”
“Now.”
Cara obeyed eagerly, lifting her head to press her lips to Kahlan’s sex, moaning as she tasted her. Kahlan shuddered, the Confessor’s moan causing sweet vibrations against her clit. She hissed as Cara’s tongue dove between her folds, gritting her teeth as the blonde lapped up her juices before tentatively pressing her tongue against her entrance. Kahlan rolled her hips to get the message across, and Cara entered her without hesitation, flicking her tongue and humming in delight and nuzzling her clit. “Use your teeth,” Kahlan commanded, and when Cara complied, the brunette threw her head back and moaned, the stings of pain and the scrape against her clit making her climb that much higher. “Deeper. Harder.” The Confessor plunged her tongue as deeply into her Mistress as she could, and all it took was a few flicks against her sweet spot to send her over the edge, moaning and convulsing. Cara continued to lick and suck at her, happily drinking Kahlan’s essence as it flowed into her mouth. She was still set on getting every last drop when the Mord’Sith pulled away, instead moving to lick her own juices from Cara’s face. When she was done, she kissed the Confessor for the first time, and the blonde whimpered as she melted under Kahlan’s warm mouth.
Cara yelped against Kahlan’s lips as she suddenly felt the woman drag her nails down her stomach, leaving eight long welts, all deep enough to bleed. Kahlan licked up the blood for a moment before biting at the scratches, causing Cara to mewl in stinging pleasure. “That one part left of you that you were telling me about?” Kahlan began with a hiss as she forced Cara’s legs apart and positioned her hand at her entrance. “Now it’s mine.” She drove three fingers hard and deep into the Confessor without mercy, smiling as she felt virgin skin resist for barely a moment before breaking.
Cara screamed, her back arching off the bed as Kahlan pulled back and thrust her hand forward again, the force shaking the Confessor’s entire body. The Mord’Sith brought her head down and bit at the welts again, and the blonde thrashed beneath her as she keened and wailed. Kahlan continued biting down her stomach until she took Cara’s clit roughly into her mouth, rolling her tongue around the sensitive bud as she pinched it with her teeth. Cara’s cries grew louder, and she had begun to buck her hips against Kahlan’s furiously pumping fingers.
“M-Mistress, what’s happening?” Cara whimpered, overwhelmed by the pleasure and pain coiling within her but knowing there was more and almost afraid of the explosion.
Kahlan pulled back and laughed. “Oh, excellent - a true virgin! You will see, my little whore. You will see.” With that she brought her mouth back to Cara’s clit, sucking it even more roughly as she curled her fingers within her. The new, sudden stab of pleasure deep within her made her cry out in surprise and ecstasy as Kahlan pushed her harder and harder towards the brink. Cara chanced a look down at the Mord’Sith and was met with her Mistress’s searing gaze. A glimpse of the wild, lustful ice-blue was all it took for her to snap.
Cara’s entire body went taut as she threw her head back and screamed, her release cascading through her in fiery waves that crashed into her again and again. She all but shattered with ecstasy writhing and crying out as she was assaulted with more pleasure than she thought could exist, let alone be felt by a single person. She rode her climax for what felt like a blissful eternity before finally going limp, quivering with aftershocks.
When she finally had the strength to open her eyes, she saw Kahlan hovering over her, a triumphant smirk on her face as she held up her hand, coated in virgin blood. The brunette sucked every drop from her fingers slowly and sensually, and the sight gave Cara one last shiver. Kahlan cleaned her entire hand before kissing Cara firmly, slipping her tongue between the woman’s lips so she could taste her own blood. Cara moaned and purred, and her reaction made Kahlan chuckle.
The Mord’Sith undid the Confessor’s bindings to the posts, bringing the woman’s arms to her sides before curling around her on the bed. “Sleep now, my little whore,” Kahlan whispered with genuine affection, stroking her hair.
Cara smiled, letting herself relax for the first time in years, safe in her Mistress’s possessive embrace. “Thank you, Mistress Kahlan.”
……………………
Kahlan half-expected to find herself in a wrought-iron bed in D’Hara when she awoke. Instead, she found herself in her familiar chambers in Aydindril, Cara wrapped around her as they lay under the covers. “Cara?” Kahlan whispered, tugging at the Mord’Sith’s arm. “Cara?”
“Mmn?” Cara replied sleepily into her shoulder.
“I just had the strangest dream and…well, I think we should try it….”