(no subject)
Title: Porn and Chocolate!
Author/Artist: talesinbloom
Requestor: montmorency
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/Elijah Wood
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: PWP, fluff, blatant abuse of hobbit lyrics and chocolate bars.
Summary: Dom and Elijah have just done seven shots of Jaegermeister each and they stumble into the New Zealand equivalent of a 7-Eleven, where Elijah asks the clerk for "Porn and chocolate!" It's up to you to work Orlando into the fic.[Request by montmorency]
Disclaimer: Here.
... to suck my cock and drown my woe
come may fall and Dom may blow
but there'll still be many fucks to go
Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain
and the stream that falls from hill to plain
better than rain or rippling brook is a foot of cock inside this Wood...
Their cheery voices raised in song could be heard for blocks in both directions.
Dom staggered into Elijah, sending them both zig-zagging across the road. "Where are we going again, if you don't mind my asking."
"I neesh ... need chocolate. Choc'late an' nerot ... erocti ... porn." It really burned Elijah that, perversely, the drunker Dom got, the clearer his speech became. "An' at leasht I can still walk a straight line, thanksh."
"According to the set rumour mill, that is the only straight thing about you. Where are we going again, if you don't mind my ..."
"Th' fuckin' only place open at the ass-end of night." Elijah neatly side-stepped as Dom tried to set his foot down a few feet above the actual pavement. He caught him as Dom started a graceless faceplant onto the sidewalk. "Whoopsie! Near'l took a tun ... a tumb ... a fall."
"Elijah, my good man," Dom peered up, eyes trying desperately to focus on one of his faces, "I do believe that seventh shot of Jaegermeister knackered me. What are we doing here again? And where is here, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I need sh ... choc'late." Elijah staggered up to the door of the convenience store under the weight of Dom's drunk legs. "And here would be the 7-E'lven."
"Elven?" Dom smushed his face against the glass, peering inside. "I didn't know elves had a need for such things as condoms and candy bars. Someone should let Legolas know."
"Speaking of Leglesh .... Legolash ... the elf," Elijah propped Dom against the door and took a step forward, peering into the store, "there's a guy in here - I've told you about him, haven't I? - that would have made the perfect Leggy. But don't tell Cillian I said that."
Dom turned his face sideways on the glass, smashing his cheek against its cool surface. He looked blearily out one eye at Elijah. "That's why you insisted on walking all the bleedin' way here, when we could have gotten chocolate and porn from any store within a block of where we were drinking? Because of the guy you've been going on about?" He pressed his nose to the glass again and gazed in owl-eyed. "Lijah, you fuckin' bird."
Dom's buzz must have been wearing off for his articulation was taking back on the usual rough burr of his accent, his word choices degenerating into the vernacular. Elijah stiff-armed him aside.
"I am a man in need of porn and chocolate! And not necessarily in that order," Elijah announced grandly, throwing the door wide. "Orli! Hook me up."
Dom stumbled in after Elijah, cursing the alcohol still weighing down his legs. He clutched at a shelf of crisps to keep from planting face right there in front of the tall, bemused clerk currently leaning on a broom and regarding Elijah with wicked dark eyes full of suppressed mirth.
"Hi, Lij. Lij's friend." The guy Dom guessed was Elijah's Orli tilted his head at them.
"Sweets we've got by the shelf full, man. Porn? Not so much." Orlando shrugged apologetically and licked his lips. Elijah was looking rather fit tonight. Not that he wasn't ever, really. But whatever he'd been drinking had deepened the natural cherry flush of his cheeks, tinted his lush mouth and glossed the brilliant blue of his eyes.
Orlando blushed and tumbled a hand through the curly mop of his hair, concentrating on the pile of debris he'd swept up from the linoleum. He bent easily from the waist and nudged a dustpan up against the dirt, watching Elijah from under his lashes as he swept the pile up. Standing, he pivoted gracefully and dumped the trash, the pole of his broom making a wide arc as he swung it up and around, tucking it out of the way under his arm.
"Damn," Dom breathed. He fumbled at the shelf he was holding onto, grabbing a bar of chocolate. "He's Legolas all right, as far as moves go."
"Told ya," Elijah sighed, a sappy smile tugging around the edges of his mouth. He leaned against the counter as Orli moved behind it and returned his smile with a warmth that had Dom looking back and forth between the two of them. He smirked and cleared his throat loudly. "Oh, yeah, and tha's Dom."
"Are you with the movie, too?" Orli peered curiously at Dom. "Lij's mentioned a few people from there." His attention wandered back to Lij and the way his fingers were spider walking across the counter toward where Orli's hands were resting. "I tried out y'know. Came all the way from London on a dare and my scholarship money. I wanted Faramir. Got a call back, too, but some other bloke won the role. By the time they decided most everything else had been cast, except a few of the hobbits." He gestured at his body, hand sweeping up the length of his height casually - a move Elijah's eyes followed greedily, Dom noted. "Too tall."
"Who says there's no porn here?" Dom snickered and thrust the candy into Elijah's hand. "Here. You've had your porn, and there's your chocolate. Pay the man and let's get on."
"No, mate," Orli replied absently, absorbed in the way Elijah's shirt rucked up a bit to reveal the pale soft curve of his belly as he rooted around in his jeans, looking for money. "We haven't got any porn, more's the pity. Hafta go three blocks over. Watch for the big flashing dildo."
Dom blinked. "Big flashing dildo?"
Orlando nodded. Elijah had given up digging in the fronts of his jeans and was now groping his ass, presumably looking for a wallet. "Big flashing dildo."
Dom cocked his head. "Elijah? There is a building in New Zealand with a big flashing dildo and I have not seen it. Why have I not seen it?"
"Fuck'f I know," Elijah mumbled, watching the way Orli was watching him. "Go, see, conquer. Take pictures."
"Yeah, pictures," Dom stumbled his way over to the stand of disposable cameras, "Billy won't believe me otherwise." Grabbing the one with the most exposures, he weaved a path toward the door, waving the camera back over his shoulder at Lij and Orli. "Put it on your card, yeah? I'll pay you back."
The bell rang at he departed and the store settled into the silence that fell over middle of the night hours.
"Thought he'd never leave." Orli smiled at Lij. "How drunk are you?"
"Drunk 'nough." Elijah smiled softly and fumbled open the wrapper on a chocolate bar. He folded his mouth over a dark wedge of it and bit down. A soft moan sighed out his nose as his tongue worked the sweet around and around.
"Store's not closed yet." Orli reached under the counter and flipped a switch. Halogens over the pumps outside flickered and dimmed, one by one, until only the glow of the security lights remained. Coming around the corner, he made for the door, fitting the key in the lock and hitting the lights there as well. He turned back toward Lij, the glow from the coolers and the street lights outside showing him the shadow Lij made as he leaned his elbows back against the counter top.
"Really wish you'd gotten the part, Orli. We could be meeting in our trailers, behind the catering tent, in between takes," Elijah's voice trailed off with a soft hiccup.
Orli sighed a laugh. "Yeah, well ... win some, " he came closer, "win some." He ducked his head and smiled up through a shy glance.
Elijah stepped out of the shadows around the counter into the faint light, his smile brighter than the dim glow. He held out the candy bar. "Come on, eat some chocolate for me, Orli."
Orli grinned and tossed the keys onto the counter as he lined up his hips with Elijah's. His arms went around Elijah's waist and he lowered his head. Paused a breath from Elijah's trembling open mouth. Licked deep and wet and dark chocolate.
The hand holding the candy bar went lax and it dropped to the floor with a quiet rustle. Elijah leaned back into Orli's arms and tried not to let the amazing feeling tingling straight from his mouth down his legs drop him right through Orli's arms to the floor after it. He whimpered, his mouth wet and hot, as Orli raised his head a fraction.
"Mmm, I can still taste the liquor underneath the chocolate," Orli whispered, breath cool against the slick tingle of Elijah's lips.
He leaned back even further and Orli nudged him forward with tiny thrusts and rubs of his hips, until his ass pressed up against the edge of the counter. Breathy little whines spilled out his throat and he scrabbled desperately at the slick formica, knocking over the small stack of candy bars Dom had piled there.
Orli reached for one. "Chocolate and porn, huh?"
"Oh fuck, Orli. Have you ever shee ... seen yourself eat choc'late?" Elijah moaned, plucking at the wrapper with small, needy tugs. He squirmed on the counter top, trying to bring his crotch into contact with Orli's leg with jerky little thrusts of his hips. "First time I was ever in here, you were sittin' behind the counter blowing a Tim Tam. Face like you were havin' a fuck'n orgash ... come in your mouth."
Orlando's face warmed with pleasure. He peeled back the wrapper on the candy and brought it to his mouth, nibbling on it just a bit. Teasing.
Elijah edged forward eagerly.
Orlando pressed the chocolate to his lips, parted them and breathed heat until the chocolate warmed and smeared across his mouth. He flicked out his tongue, dragging it slowly up the bar, circled around and closed his lips over it, pushing it into his mouth with the tip of his finger.
Elijah clutched Orlando's shirt, twisting the material roughly between his fingers. Soft, continuous moans spilled from him as he hitched himself nearer, swaying forward until his mouth touched Orli's tongue licking along the chocolate. He dipped his own tongue between Orli's fingers, flickering wet and hungry around his lips.
Orli dropped the chocolate bar and fit his mouth precisely over Elijah's.
Elijah thrust his hand down into his jeans, one part of his mind registering the dank heat before the smooth shaft of his cock pressed itself into the palm of his hand. He grunted softly into Orlando's mouth as he squeezed, blood heat surging against the pressure of his fingers.
The chocolate on their mouths was silky and sweet between them, the taste lingering on their tongues long after they'd lapped it away.
Elijah fell back with a sharp gasp as a particularly pleasing ripple of his fingers around himself sent languid coils of heat slipping out around his balls and belly and down his legs. His head buzzed; he felt dizzy with the combination of alcohol and Orli singing through his veins. He struggled to push his hand down the shaft of his cock and tug back up, fingers stiff and fumbling.
"Let me, Lij." Orli mouthed against his neck, licking lazily at the pulse pressing with frantic little flutters against thin skin. "Let me." He cupped his hand over the warm bulge between Elijah's wide-spread thighs, rubbing his palm against the ridges of Elijah's knuckles beneath the coarse material. He squeezed gently.
Elijah writhed, breathless pleas half-gasped as he arched into Orli's grasp. He felt a sharp tug at his waist, then cool air against sweat-wet skin newly bared. His fingers unfurled and he pulled his hand back.
His cock fell thick and heavy into Orlando's ready touch. Elijah sucked in a sharp breath, looking down to where the plump curve of his cock head pushed dull red and glossy through the tight circle of Orlando's fingers.
A small chunk of chocolate was pressed against his mouth, slipping past his lips to melt dark and smooth against his tongue. He sucked eagerly at the tips of Orlando's fingers, feeling the cling of what little loose skin remained around his cock being worked over and around the rim of his glans. He leaned back on his arms, sucking Orli's fingers deep into his mouth, pumping his hips in counterpoint to Orli's quickening strokes, breathing deeply as each deliberate twist of Orli's palm urged his orgasm along.
Warm spunk spilled from his slit and slid over Orli's knuckles as Elijah went rigid beneath him, body arching up with wire-fine tension. He cried out softly as Elijah set his teeth into his fingers.
Orli squeezed tight tight once, feeling the surge of aftershock pulse beneath his grip, and Elijah gulped and let go, shuddering all over. Orli slid his fingers from Elijah's mouth and his hand from his pants.
His come pearled white against Orli's tan skin and Orli lifted his hand, licking delicately in a way that sent pangs low and deep through Elijah's abused nervous system. "So fuckin' porny." His voice rasping with sleepy satiation and the beginnings of what promised to be a killer hangover. He reached out, brushed his fingertips against Orli's belly. "You now, before Dom gets back."
Orli smiled, and shook his head around sucking at the side of his palm, catching the last lingering taste of Lij. "No, man. Taken care of," he said softly. He caught at Lij's hand with his free one and pressed it to the front of his khaki's.
The material was warm and damp under Elijah's palm and he shook his head in awe. "Fuckin' love ..."
They both jumped guilty and Orlando peered over his shoulder, Lij craning his neck to see around him, as a loud banging shattered the hush of the darkened store.
Dom was peering in through the glass, one hand cupped around his face, the other slammed up against the door. Dull red light flashed rhythmically from something held in that hand. His voice came through muffled, but clear.
"Fuck pictures. I bought the big flashing dildo!"
Author/Artist: talesinbloom
Requestor: montmorency
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/Elijah Wood
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: PWP, fluff, blatant abuse of hobbit lyrics and chocolate bars.
Summary: Dom and Elijah have just done seven shots of Jaegermeister each and they stumble into the New Zealand equivalent of a 7-Eleven, where Elijah asks the clerk for "Porn and chocolate!" It's up to you to work Orlando into the fic.[Request by montmorency]
Disclaimer: Here.
... to suck my cock and drown my woe
come may fall and Dom may blow
but there'll still be many fucks to go
Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain
and the stream that falls from hill to plain
better than rain or rippling brook is a foot of cock inside this Wood...
Their cheery voices raised in song could be heard for blocks in both directions.
Dom staggered into Elijah, sending them both zig-zagging across the road. "Where are we going again, if you don't mind my asking."
"I neesh ... need chocolate. Choc'late an' nerot ... erocti ... porn." It really burned Elijah that, perversely, the drunker Dom got, the clearer his speech became. "An' at leasht I can still walk a straight line, thanksh."
"According to the set rumour mill, that is the only straight thing about you. Where are we going again, if you don't mind my ..."
"Th' fuckin' only place open at the ass-end of night." Elijah neatly side-stepped as Dom tried to set his foot down a few feet above the actual pavement. He caught him as Dom started a graceless faceplant onto the sidewalk. "Whoopsie! Near'l took a tun ... a tumb ... a fall."
"Elijah, my good man," Dom peered up, eyes trying desperately to focus on one of his faces, "I do believe that seventh shot of Jaegermeister knackered me. What are we doing here again? And where is here, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I need sh ... choc'late." Elijah staggered up to the door of the convenience store under the weight of Dom's drunk legs. "And here would be the 7-E'lven."
"Elven?" Dom smushed his face against the glass, peering inside. "I didn't know elves had a need for such things as condoms and candy bars. Someone should let Legolas know."
"Speaking of Leglesh .... Legolash ... the elf," Elijah propped Dom against the door and took a step forward, peering into the store, "there's a guy in here - I've told you about him, haven't I? - that would have made the perfect Leggy. But don't tell Cillian I said that."
Dom turned his face sideways on the glass, smashing his cheek against its cool surface. He looked blearily out one eye at Elijah. "That's why you insisted on walking all the bleedin' way here, when we could have gotten chocolate and porn from any store within a block of where we were drinking? Because of the guy you've been going on about?" He pressed his nose to the glass again and gazed in owl-eyed. "Lijah, you fuckin' bird."
Dom's buzz must have been wearing off for his articulation was taking back on the usual rough burr of his accent, his word choices degenerating into the vernacular. Elijah stiff-armed him aside.
"I am a man in need of porn and chocolate! And not necessarily in that order," Elijah announced grandly, throwing the door wide. "Orli! Hook me up."
Dom stumbled in after Elijah, cursing the alcohol still weighing down his legs. He clutched at a shelf of crisps to keep from planting face right there in front of the tall, bemused clerk currently leaning on a broom and regarding Elijah with wicked dark eyes full of suppressed mirth.
"Hi, Lij. Lij's friend." The guy Dom guessed was Elijah's Orli tilted his head at them.
"Sweets we've got by the shelf full, man. Porn? Not so much." Orlando shrugged apologetically and licked his lips. Elijah was looking rather fit tonight. Not that he wasn't ever, really. But whatever he'd been drinking had deepened the natural cherry flush of his cheeks, tinted his lush mouth and glossed the brilliant blue of his eyes.
Orlando blushed and tumbled a hand through the curly mop of his hair, concentrating on the pile of debris he'd swept up from the linoleum. He bent easily from the waist and nudged a dustpan up against the dirt, watching Elijah from under his lashes as he swept the pile up. Standing, he pivoted gracefully and dumped the trash, the pole of his broom making a wide arc as he swung it up and around, tucking it out of the way under his arm.
"Damn," Dom breathed. He fumbled at the shelf he was holding onto, grabbing a bar of chocolate. "He's Legolas all right, as far as moves go."
"Told ya," Elijah sighed, a sappy smile tugging around the edges of his mouth. He leaned against the counter as Orli moved behind it and returned his smile with a warmth that had Dom looking back and forth between the two of them. He smirked and cleared his throat loudly. "Oh, yeah, and tha's Dom."
"Are you with the movie, too?" Orli peered curiously at Dom. "Lij's mentioned a few people from there." His attention wandered back to Lij and the way his fingers were spider walking across the counter toward where Orli's hands were resting. "I tried out y'know. Came all the way from London on a dare and my scholarship money. I wanted Faramir. Got a call back, too, but some other bloke won the role. By the time they decided most everything else had been cast, except a few of the hobbits." He gestured at his body, hand sweeping up the length of his height casually - a move Elijah's eyes followed greedily, Dom noted. "Too tall."
"Who says there's no porn here?" Dom snickered and thrust the candy into Elijah's hand. "Here. You've had your porn, and there's your chocolate. Pay the man and let's get on."
"No, mate," Orli replied absently, absorbed in the way Elijah's shirt rucked up a bit to reveal the pale soft curve of his belly as he rooted around in his jeans, looking for money. "We haven't got any porn, more's the pity. Hafta go three blocks over. Watch for the big flashing dildo."
Dom blinked. "Big flashing dildo?"
Orlando nodded. Elijah had given up digging in the fronts of his jeans and was now groping his ass, presumably looking for a wallet. "Big flashing dildo."
Dom cocked his head. "Elijah? There is a building in New Zealand with a big flashing dildo and I have not seen it. Why have I not seen it?"
"Fuck'f I know," Elijah mumbled, watching the way Orli was watching him. "Go, see, conquer. Take pictures."
"Yeah, pictures," Dom stumbled his way over to the stand of disposable cameras, "Billy won't believe me otherwise." Grabbing the one with the most exposures, he weaved a path toward the door, waving the camera back over his shoulder at Lij and Orli. "Put it on your card, yeah? I'll pay you back."
The bell rang at he departed and the store settled into the silence that fell over middle of the night hours.
"Thought he'd never leave." Orli smiled at Lij. "How drunk are you?"
"Drunk 'nough." Elijah smiled softly and fumbled open the wrapper on a chocolate bar. He folded his mouth over a dark wedge of it and bit down. A soft moan sighed out his nose as his tongue worked the sweet around and around.
"Store's not closed yet." Orli reached under the counter and flipped a switch. Halogens over the pumps outside flickered and dimmed, one by one, until only the glow of the security lights remained. Coming around the corner, he made for the door, fitting the key in the lock and hitting the lights there as well. He turned back toward Lij, the glow from the coolers and the street lights outside showing him the shadow Lij made as he leaned his elbows back against the counter top.
"Really wish you'd gotten the part, Orli. We could be meeting in our trailers, behind the catering tent, in between takes," Elijah's voice trailed off with a soft hiccup.
Orli sighed a laugh. "Yeah, well ... win some, " he came closer, "win some." He ducked his head and smiled up through a shy glance.
Elijah stepped out of the shadows around the counter into the faint light, his smile brighter than the dim glow. He held out the candy bar. "Come on, eat some chocolate for me, Orli."
Orli grinned and tossed the keys onto the counter as he lined up his hips with Elijah's. His arms went around Elijah's waist and he lowered his head. Paused a breath from Elijah's trembling open mouth. Licked deep and wet and dark chocolate.
The hand holding the candy bar went lax and it dropped to the floor with a quiet rustle. Elijah leaned back into Orli's arms and tried not to let the amazing feeling tingling straight from his mouth down his legs drop him right through Orli's arms to the floor after it. He whimpered, his mouth wet and hot, as Orli raised his head a fraction.
"Mmm, I can still taste the liquor underneath the chocolate," Orli whispered, breath cool against the slick tingle of Elijah's lips.
He leaned back even further and Orli nudged him forward with tiny thrusts and rubs of his hips, until his ass pressed up against the edge of the counter. Breathy little whines spilled out his throat and he scrabbled desperately at the slick formica, knocking over the small stack of candy bars Dom had piled there.
Orli reached for one. "Chocolate and porn, huh?"
"Oh fuck, Orli. Have you ever shee ... seen yourself eat choc'late?" Elijah moaned, plucking at the wrapper with small, needy tugs. He squirmed on the counter top, trying to bring his crotch into contact with Orli's leg with jerky little thrusts of his hips. "First time I was ever in here, you were sittin' behind the counter blowing a Tim Tam. Face like you were havin' a fuck'n orgash ... come in your mouth."
Orlando's face warmed with pleasure. He peeled back the wrapper on the candy and brought it to his mouth, nibbling on it just a bit. Teasing.
Elijah edged forward eagerly.
Orlando pressed the chocolate to his lips, parted them and breathed heat until the chocolate warmed and smeared across his mouth. He flicked out his tongue, dragging it slowly up the bar, circled around and closed his lips over it, pushing it into his mouth with the tip of his finger.
Elijah clutched Orlando's shirt, twisting the material roughly between his fingers. Soft, continuous moans spilled from him as he hitched himself nearer, swaying forward until his mouth touched Orli's tongue licking along the chocolate. He dipped his own tongue between Orli's fingers, flickering wet and hungry around his lips.
Orli dropped the chocolate bar and fit his mouth precisely over Elijah's.
Elijah thrust his hand down into his jeans, one part of his mind registering the dank heat before the smooth shaft of his cock pressed itself into the palm of his hand. He grunted softly into Orlando's mouth as he squeezed, blood heat surging against the pressure of his fingers.
The chocolate on their mouths was silky and sweet between them, the taste lingering on their tongues long after they'd lapped it away.
Elijah fell back with a sharp gasp as a particularly pleasing ripple of his fingers around himself sent languid coils of heat slipping out around his balls and belly and down his legs. His head buzzed; he felt dizzy with the combination of alcohol and Orli singing through his veins. He struggled to push his hand down the shaft of his cock and tug back up, fingers stiff and fumbling.
"Let me, Lij." Orli mouthed against his neck, licking lazily at the pulse pressing with frantic little flutters against thin skin. "Let me." He cupped his hand over the warm bulge between Elijah's wide-spread thighs, rubbing his palm against the ridges of Elijah's knuckles beneath the coarse material. He squeezed gently.
Elijah writhed, breathless pleas half-gasped as he arched into Orli's grasp. He felt a sharp tug at his waist, then cool air against sweat-wet skin newly bared. His fingers unfurled and he pulled his hand back.
His cock fell thick and heavy into Orlando's ready touch. Elijah sucked in a sharp breath, looking down to where the plump curve of his cock head pushed dull red and glossy through the tight circle of Orlando's fingers.
A small chunk of chocolate was pressed against his mouth, slipping past his lips to melt dark and smooth against his tongue. He sucked eagerly at the tips of Orlando's fingers, feeling the cling of what little loose skin remained around his cock being worked over and around the rim of his glans. He leaned back on his arms, sucking Orli's fingers deep into his mouth, pumping his hips in counterpoint to Orli's quickening strokes, breathing deeply as each deliberate twist of Orli's palm urged his orgasm along.
Warm spunk spilled from his slit and slid over Orli's knuckles as Elijah went rigid beneath him, body arching up with wire-fine tension. He cried out softly as Elijah set his teeth into his fingers.
Orli squeezed tight tight once, feeling the surge of aftershock pulse beneath his grip, and Elijah gulped and let go, shuddering all over. Orli slid his fingers from Elijah's mouth and his hand from his pants.
His come pearled white against Orli's tan skin and Orli lifted his hand, licking delicately in a way that sent pangs low and deep through Elijah's abused nervous system. "So fuckin' porny." His voice rasping with sleepy satiation and the beginnings of what promised to be a killer hangover. He reached out, brushed his fingertips against Orli's belly. "You now, before Dom gets back."
Orli smiled, and shook his head around sucking at the side of his palm, catching the last lingering taste of Lij. "No, man. Taken care of," he said softly. He caught at Lij's hand with his free one and pressed it to the front of his khaki's.
The material was warm and damp under Elijah's palm and he shook his head in awe. "Fuckin' love ..."
They both jumped guilty and Orlando peered over his shoulder, Lij craning his neck to see around him, as a loud banging shattered the hush of the darkened store.
Dom was peering in through the glass, one hand cupped around his face, the other slammed up against the door. Dull red light flashed rhythmically from something held in that hand. His voice came through muffled, but clear.
"Fuck pictures. I bought the big flashing dildo!"