Head...pain...ow
I guess I’ll do this since I haven’t written anything really new for awhile. I’m back at school, kind of miserable, but that’s to be expected, I don’t really have anything to look forward too. After some poking and prodding by my glorious girlfriend I looked into swapping religion for Arthurian Lit however I do not have English 102 so I can’t take it. Now I’m stuck in religion. I don’t get my books until the end of the month so I don’t know how I’m going to do the assignments seeing as the only other person I know in the class is um, not my best friend, to say the least. Same goes for math, I don’t have my book yet and it won’t be here for weeks and I seriously don’t know what I’m going to do because NONE of my friends have the book for that class. Also in math I don’t think I gave the best impression to the teacher looking back on it. The majority of the kids in that class are Conservatory kids, and while they are my friends, none of them are particularly smart, they’re all kind of dumb actually, they know a lot about theatre and junk but not the liberal arts, so I looked really smart compared to them seeing as only me and one other girl who’s like a bio major or some major that uses math actually solved the problem we had today. But I think I came off as a bitch, I didn’t really have it in my head that I wasn’t at McAuley and that I don’t know the teachers here as well as I do my other ones so they might not get when I’m being sarcastic or making a joke and if you don’t get it then I can seem like a giant stuck up bitch. I’m going to try and remedy that Thursday, I don’t need my math teacher disliking me of all people. Um, I slept through modern this morning because someone is a douche and set her alarm for PM rather than AM. I feel horrid. I also need to go leotard shopping, I feel like it’s God’s way of punishing me. Tap was ok I guess, I’m not really looking forward to stage craft but I hope that turns out ok because I really do like building sets. I have to organize my work study, I contacted a woman about getting a job as a telemarketer today because I really need money. I found out that I can get plane tickets to England for around $500 round trip which really isn’t bad. I need to talk to mom about how much money I have at home. I need to eat meals, I’ve only eaten in the café once since I’ve been back. I ate dinner Monday and I ate a bagel for supper tonight. I now have a giant headache and I’m pretty cure it’s because I’m hungry but I lack actual food. I sacrificed it so I could save some money. I don’t like being in a financial issue. I like having money and not having to worry about it, but sadly I will probably always be in need financially because I am an actor and do not have steady work. I really do want to teach at McAuley but to do that I’d have to sacrifice being with the woman I love and I don’t want to do that either. I don’t know why I have such an attachment to that school but I love it and I want to be back there and help the girls, make the drama group great again seeing as they suck now, I mean I feel awesome that I was part of the reason for a golden age for the limelighters but I don’t really want it to end with me and my group. It’s kind of why I want to go back because I know that in some of those girls is incredible talent and that Erk is not going about this the right way and I want to help them find it and I want them to have that. I love seeing someone’s face when they get what I’m saying about something, or when I make a change and it works for them and they can find something new and it makes me incredibly proud to watch my students. Second best theatre feeling after being up there myself. Yet another thing I’d have to sacrifice to be a teacher, I do kind of want my time to shine before I get to the others. Damn you of thrill of the stage! Or screen, I’d like to try that or work with it, it’s a totally different technique and hell I’ll be a TV star if live theatre doesn’t work out. I feel like it might not be the same awesome rush that live theater might be but I also feel like it might be more intimate, more connection with the other actor than just playing, even if that is really fun. Can we tell I need my acting class? I’ve missed it, I’m glad I have one tomorrow, I also miss you know, being on stage but whatever. Next year. Maybe. Yes. Next Year. Speaking of which I need to remember to get in a headshot and resume, of course, why would I have headshots? I have no idea what I’m going to do about that either. Ugg, I really hope things work out because this is going to be a looooong miserable semester otherwise, and I don’t want that, absolutely no fun.