the worst week of my whole life was last week...
i have such a weird, sickly, gut-level feeling in my tummy. all the time. Hes at boys state this week, im coping ok with it, thinking about him a lot, but myself also. Friday he tried to break up w/ me, long story short: we are together and happy, but it emotionally wrecked me. I've never felt that awful in my whole life. too many tears and sobs and screaming, he didnt realize it would kill me. all i could think of was who am i gonna marry, how can i live w/io him. when he found out how upset i was he realized he made the wrong decision. on sat. he apologized and said i cant believe im leaving u (to go to boys state) and all u have to think about it that. we made up and he cried and begged me to take him back, that was always my plan. i cried and told him how he was my thoughts and my body depends on him like drugs. my whole life is him. "i can't wash u off my skin" [queens of the stone age]. he thought someone was better for me, but thats bull. i must admit, i was dreading this entry..its not so bad now. I'm a little bit more numb to the situation but only by a fraction. he can call me around 11 every night this week so communication is there. i spent the night friday and sat. was jen's graduation and we had to get up at 630, he came downstairs at 530 cuase he said he had a horrible nightmare so we slept till 630. i just love him i do. he is my world. i cant wait till sat. when he comes home.