A Poem

[lothiel_isilien]

I wrote this the other day for Poetry. I got pretty good feedback from the class, so I figured I'd let you all see it. :) I was listening to Marcus Roberts playing Duke Ellington and thinking about Key West (blame Wallace Stevens) and Black English (blame Linguistics). This resulted. Enjoy.

JazzHot wet sweat drops

Comments

That's some good sauce you gotz

[carborundum]

You anchor your pacing with paired up lines like

Re: That's some good sauce you gotz

[lothiel_isilien]

Thanks so much for the feedback! :) I'll definitely take your thoughts about line breaks and punctuation into consideration, as I was wondering about those things myself. And I'm working on the title, too. Didn't much care for Jazz as it didn't seem to fit. Again, thanks much.

[jiggy03]

I DIG!!!!

[lothiel_isilien]

Thanks! :)