torn in half.
When my life finally seemed to be moving forward perfectly.. BAM.
I hit a fucking speed bump.
I have been thinking all night.
I've been trying not to think,
but I can find nothing to do to distract myself.
I'm too lazy to clean my closet,
I'm too upset to talk to anyone,
I'm too dumb to finish reading my book.
So, I sit. And I think.
About tonight.
about this past summer.
about the past 4 years of my life.
about the past 18 years of my life.
What have I done?
I have come so far,
I was finally moving along at a steady pace.
Now I am thinking.
And I am slowing down.
I am stopping to think.
1/2
I am in love.
for once in my pathetic life, I have someone.
I have him.
I love him.
I feel complete.
I have everything I ever wanted.. everything I have ever needed..
I can lay in his arms all day if I want,
We laugh
we play
we talk
we fuck.
I am comfortable.
I found that connection I had been longing for
the one I thought I would never find.
The truth is, the reason I exist is for him.
and for no one else.
2/2
In another way,
I am alone.
I would kill for a best friend.
A girl I can laugh with for hours
we would go drink coffee
and walk around the mall
and do stupid shit
and be friends.
We would talk forever about everything and nothing.
I have had so many temporary fixes.
Now, I am ready for a friend.
I'm ready for friends.
85% of my friends are guys.
we do stupid shit
we laugh
we have good times.
But, I am a girl.
And I miss that special friendship.
that special feeling
so I make up for it with Ben.
but he needs time, too.
0/0
I can't stop my mind from wandering.
My heart from racing.
I am bouncing from thought to thought.
plan to plan.
I feel sick.
and I feel like complaining.
I came back to lj
becasue myspace just doesn't soothe my hunger, anymore.
The one person I rely on the most to comfort me,
isn't here now.
I don't know what to do.
I feel like my brain is pacing from left to right inside my skull.
I'm dizzy.
I'm fucked.
I BEEN LOVED ON: i cannot calm the fuck down
Iamlmao7: go beat a wall
I'm screwed.
I hit a fucking speed bump.
I have been thinking all night.
I've been trying not to think,
but I can find nothing to do to distract myself.
I'm too lazy to clean my closet,
I'm too upset to talk to anyone,
I'm too dumb to finish reading my book.
So, I sit. And I think.
About tonight.
about this past summer.
about the past 4 years of my life.
about the past 18 years of my life.
What have I done?
I have come so far,
I was finally moving along at a steady pace.
Now I am thinking.
And I am slowing down.
I am stopping to think.
1/2
I am in love.
for once in my pathetic life, I have someone.
I have him.
I love him.
I feel complete.
I have everything I ever wanted.. everything I have ever needed..
I can lay in his arms all day if I want,
We laugh
we play
we talk
we fuck.
I am comfortable.
I found that connection I had been longing for
the one I thought I would never find.
The truth is, the reason I exist is for him.
and for no one else.
2/2
In another way,
I am alone.
I would kill for a best friend.
A girl I can laugh with for hours
we would go drink coffee
and walk around the mall
and do stupid shit
and be friends.
We would talk forever about everything and nothing.
I have had so many temporary fixes.
Now, I am ready for a friend.
I'm ready for friends.
85% of my friends are guys.
we do stupid shit
we laugh
we have good times.
But, I am a girl.
And I miss that special friendship.
that special feeling
so I make up for it with Ben.
but he needs time, too.
0/0
I can't stop my mind from wandering.
My heart from racing.
I am bouncing from thought to thought.
plan to plan.
I feel sick.
and I feel like complaining.
I came back to lj
becasue myspace just doesn't soothe my hunger, anymore.
The one person I rely on the most to comfort me,
isn't here now.
I don't know what to do.
I feel like my brain is pacing from left to right inside my skull.
I'm dizzy.
I'm fucked.
I BEEN LOVED ON: i cannot calm the fuck down
Iamlmao7: go beat a wall
I'm screwed.