D for Depression =/
For some reason... I went into depression mode today. It doesn't happen that often to me, and I can usually recognize when it's happening... typically after a night where I didn't get much sleep. But this morning after a relatively unsuccessful SPED 2310 test, I found out that I made a 3/10 and a 5/10 on two of the three chapter activities that we had to do because of an oversight that I committed. An oversight that was committed on the ones I turned in today also. So that would bring my total grade up to a whopping 63. Yay. So I decided I wanted to ask if I could drop the class. She said "Well sure, but I can work with you." And I was already starting to get upset because she is such a nice lady. She runs a good classroom, too... just not how I like to be taught. So I started describing how I didn't even need the class anymore and I didn't want my gpa to suffer because of it, but I felt bad because it's a good class (for someone else). The final straw was that she asked me if everything was alright at home... I broke down and was sobbing and complaining about having to work 50+ hours a week... the fact that I haven't had more than 2 days off in the past month... the fact that I feel like my parents don't like me... the fact that I'm now being pressured to do better than ever in school because I want to get into a decent graduate school... and she was so nice... just sat there and listened to me. After I was done, she told me that she would accept the assignments that I messed up if I still didn't want to drop the class; however, she would let me drop the class. I felt too badly to just say that I wanted to drop the class... plus that would make my slip into depression seem fake... which it's not... for some reason, and I don't know why, I'm still crying (and that makes me angry). So I didn't drop the class... I'm redoing the assignments... and continuing to take a class that includes a lot of busy work and I don't even need it.