It's never just a kiss?
I'm listening to Boy Meets Boy, again. I do this from time to time. And every time I do something else jumps out at me.
This time, it's less positive. It's about the kiss that Paul gives his ex-BF, Kyle, and about what his current love interest, Noah, says about it: "It's never just a kiss. You know that."
I'm not going to defend Paul. He knew he did something that was wrong. And it made him aware of just how fragile relationships can be. Paul could be any one of us, caught of guard. There are legitimate situations where someone kisses us before we can stop them. That has sort of happened to be before.
There is a scene in the show, Life with Derek, where Casey catches her BF kissing her cousin at a party. In this case, her BF didn't initiate it, and in fact, he was quite upset by it. But, of course, Casey didn't see that part.
I'm not defending people who cheat. But I think that the accused should always be given a chance to defend themselves. For the accuser to be completely unforgiving is just as bad. One day, it could be you who appears guilty because of circumstantial evidence.
I know a lot of these situations occur because of a lack of maturity. But not always. I know others who were older and freaked out just as much. I believe the problem is less a matter of maturity, and more a matter of being hurt and lashing out to hurt back.
People like me get hurt. And we let people walk all over us. We forgive too easily. We give people second chances, and more. I'm probably not the best example because it would take me forever to finally say enough is enough.
We claim, as a society, that you are inocent until proven guilty. But more and more, we are treating people like they are guilty first. In many cases we claim to do this to protect others from harm. Again, I don't want to take away from the fact that there are some dangerous people out there who could harm someone. But the moment we take the rights of someone away in the name of protecting others, we diminish all of our rights and freedoms. Sound familiar?
In Boy Meets Boy, Paul is eventually forgiven. In fact, he redeems himself. He is also able to fend off another attempt by Kyle. Not to say Kyle was really in the wrong, however. It isn't even clear that Kyle knows about Noah; he's that oblivious.
One last thought, about Noah. One of his issues is that he has been hurt before. I don't think it's unfair of him to protect himself by taking a step back in this situation. However, at some point it seems to me that he's using his past hurts to affect his judgement about the actions of others. None of us should be judged by how someone else treated them.
There's no right or wrong way to deal with past hurts. I'm a firm believer in taking responsibility for your own feelings. Yes, people do things that hurt you. But you can't continue to punish everyone else you meet because of those hurts. Also, and this is much harder, but giving in to resentment toward someone for how they treated you will only destroy you from the inside out.
No, it's never just a kiss. But it's never quite as things seem, either.
This time, it's less positive. It's about the kiss that Paul gives his ex-BF, Kyle, and about what his current love interest, Noah, says about it: "It's never just a kiss. You know that."
I'm not going to defend Paul. He knew he did something that was wrong. And it made him aware of just how fragile relationships can be. Paul could be any one of us, caught of guard. There are legitimate situations where someone kisses us before we can stop them. That has sort of happened to be before.
There is a scene in the show, Life with Derek, where Casey catches her BF kissing her cousin at a party. In this case, her BF didn't initiate it, and in fact, he was quite upset by it. But, of course, Casey didn't see that part.
I'm not defending people who cheat. But I think that the accused should always be given a chance to defend themselves. For the accuser to be completely unforgiving is just as bad. One day, it could be you who appears guilty because of circumstantial evidence.
I know a lot of these situations occur because of a lack of maturity. But not always. I know others who were older and freaked out just as much. I believe the problem is less a matter of maturity, and more a matter of being hurt and lashing out to hurt back.
People like me get hurt. And we let people walk all over us. We forgive too easily. We give people second chances, and more. I'm probably not the best example because it would take me forever to finally say enough is enough.
We claim, as a society, that you are inocent until proven guilty. But more and more, we are treating people like they are guilty first. In many cases we claim to do this to protect others from harm. Again, I don't want to take away from the fact that there are some dangerous people out there who could harm someone. But the moment we take the rights of someone away in the name of protecting others, we diminish all of our rights and freedoms. Sound familiar?
In Boy Meets Boy, Paul is eventually forgiven. In fact, he redeems himself. He is also able to fend off another attempt by Kyle. Not to say Kyle was really in the wrong, however. It isn't even clear that Kyle knows about Noah; he's that oblivious.
One last thought, about Noah. One of his issues is that he has been hurt before. I don't think it's unfair of him to protect himself by taking a step back in this situation. However, at some point it seems to me that he's using his past hurts to affect his judgement about the actions of others. None of us should be judged by how someone else treated them.
There's no right or wrong way to deal with past hurts. I'm a firm believer in taking responsibility for your own feelings. Yes, people do things that hurt you. But you can't continue to punish everyone else you meet because of those hurts. Also, and this is much harder, but giving in to resentment toward someone for how they treated you will only destroy you from the inside out.
No, it's never just a kiss. But it's never quite as things seem, either.