Feb 23, 2010 01:05
Ugh! The guy I was dating for over 4 fucking years broke up with me in November. But he begged me to still be his friend and to not stop talking to him.
Now, keep in mind, this break up was family related, blackmailed by his cousin who threatened to tell the family about us. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing in his place.
Just over a week ago he went to Mardi Gras with friends. Before going he told me I'd have to help keep him sane when he returned. On the way he found out his aunt, who had been on her death bed for months, had died. He took it hard, and that's ok, I expected that.
While at Mardi Gras, I barely heard from him, and only twice since last Tuesday. And the only time I heard from him was when I txted him. One time someone asked who I was, so I ignored it. Two other times, he just tells me he's with family. But tonight he added a question which pissed me off. "Is there something you need?"
I felt like saying, "Yeah, I fucking need a friend who ACTS like a fucking friend!" Instead I said, "No, ttyl".
I have to say one thing for sure, he's pushing me away. And if that's his goal, it's working. I'm not sure if I should feel relieved, or pissed off. I think I have a mixture of both.
Some have tried to tell me for a couple of years now, if not longer, that's he's not right for me. I'm starting to agree. He's self-centered, selfish, rude, weak, and not the type of guy I need in my life.
I don't expect to find someone who is perfect. But I'm realizing now it's not wrong to want someone who thinks about me at least some of the time.
I certainly hope he finds some happiness out there somewhere. He's looking for it in all the wrong places, but he's the type you can't tell things too.
I tell you this, if he keeps this up, he won't have a friend left in me, either.