Ashes of Another Life (Sam/Dean, NC-17) (2/5)

[lostt1]

Dean's hand hovered over the shiny brass number on Sam's door. It had been nearly a month since he'd seen his younger brother and Dean's mind was still a whirlwind of confusion. He had no more ideas on how to fix things now than he did when he left. He and Sam still talked all the time but Dean felt hollow when he hung up the phone.

He missed Sam. He missed seeing his bright smiles, missed watching his eyes light up at some private joke, missed hearing him laugh, long and loud. Hell, he even missed Sam's non-stop flirting, despite the fact that it only added to his confusion.

With a heavy sigh, Dean brought his fist up and knocked, the sound echoing up and down the empty hallway. The door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Sam and Dean immediately grinned, the deep ache inside of him already lessening at the sight.

Sam smiled, dimples showing, and mouthed a greeting. He pointed to the phone tucked between his ear and shoulder in a silent explanation and Dean nodded. Sam stepped back and motioned Dean into the apartment.

Dean flopped down on the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. Sam paced around the room as he listened to the other person on the phone. When he passed Dean, he knocked his feet off the table and glared down at him.

Dean just smirked back at him and mouthed so gay, making Sam roll his eyes in response. While Sam was distracted by his conversation, Dean took the time to check him out, to inventory any changes that might have occurred while he was away. Sam was wearing a pair of sweat pants slung low on his hips and a ratty t-shirt. His hair was sticking up on one side and if Dean didn't know any better, he'd think Sam just got out of bed despite it being three in the afternoon. Thinking of Sam all warm and sleepy, head buried deep in his pillow, made something in his gut tighten. Dean immediately shifted his focus away from Sam, reminding himself that Sam was his brother and that was a taboo even he wasn't willing to ignore.

"I know and I promised I'd be there." Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He rolled his eyes in Dean's direction. "Hey Mom, I really need to go. Dean just got here and I haven't seen him in forever."

Dean perked up when he realized who Sam was talking to.

"Ok, I will. I promise." Sam paused, listening to whatever his mother was saying. He smiled. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you, too."

Sam turned off the phone and tossed it onto the table before flinging himself onto the couch next to Dean. "Oh my god. I love that woman but sometimes I swear she can talk forever."

Dean grinned and reached over, tugging on Sam's shirt. "You know you didn't have to dress up for me."

Sam smacked his hand away. "Shut up, fucker." He shook his head with an amused smile. "It's been a long week. My last final was this morning. Afterwards, I just came home and crashed."

"Shit. Is it finals time already?"

Sam gaped at him. "Seriously? Do you ever listen to a word I say?"

Dean shrugged. "A word? Yes. Lots of words in a row? Not really."

Sam sighed. "Why do I put up with you again?"

Dean smirked. "Because I'm awesome."

"Yeah, yeah," Sam muttered. "You're god's gift to women."

"And men."

"And men?" Sam looked over at Dean, eyebrow raised.

"I'm flexible." Dean shrugged and sprawled out, settling into the cushion. "You should always keep your options open."

Sam made a sound at the back of his throat and slouched down with a low groan, his arm pressed up against Dean's. "God, you're such a tease."

Dean bit his tongue to keep from saying anything else. He slanted his eyes over to stare at Sam's profile.

Sam turned suddenly, catching Dean staring at him. Their faces were so close, Dean could count the rings of color in Sam's eyes. Sam frowned. "Did I know you were stopping by?"

Dean shook his head. "Nah. Finished my last project early. Wasn't too far from here, so-"

"Oh." Sam played with the hem of his shirt. "Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean watched Sam's long fingers tangle in a loose string.

"Are you working this week?" Sam glanced over at him, suddenly looking a bit nervous.

Dean shrugged, the movement rubbing his arm against Sam's. "Not really. I haven't found my next gig yet." Dean was glad he'd told Sam he did freelance work that took him across the country. It was close enough to the truth that there was less chance of slipping up. "Why?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd want to go home with me."

"Come again?"

Sam frowned, tiny lines forming on his forehead. "It's ok if you don't want to but my mom said I should at least invite you and-"

Dean openly stared at Sam as his voice trailed off. Sam was inviting him home to meet his family, which was weird on so many levels.

Sam glanced over at him, eyes wide and pleading, and Dean sighed. "A whole week?"

Sam grinned, knowing he'd already won. "A couple of days, at least. Maybe longer."

Dean shook his head in resignation. He had never been good at saying no to Sam. "Ok, but if I feel all weird, I'm out of there."

Sam's smile grew and Dean growled. "Now go get changed and let's get out of here. You definitely owe me dinner for this."

"Whatever, man. You know you love me." Sam jumped up and darted off to his room before Dean could reply.

Dean sighed and buried his face in his hands. Sam was right and that was precisely the problem. Dean loved Sam. He just wasn't sure how he loved Sam anymore.

xxxxxx

"Now I can see why you travel so much."

Dean glanced over at Sam, who was sprawled out in the passenger seat. "Why's that?"

Sam grinned. "This car, man. It's pretty sweet. Feels almost like a second home."

Dean felt a momentary burst of pride that was quickly squelched when he realized that his car was yet another thing that Sam should remember. There was a reason it felt like a second home. "Feels like that because it is."

The drive had been relatively uneventful, Sam's usual incessant chatter mellowing into a calm quiet. Dean was feeling pretty nervous himself. He didn't know what to expect from Sam's family. What if they didn't like him? What if they really were a cult and he was just walking right into their trap? What if they were just an everyday, all-American family? What would he do then?

"Turn right up there." Sam pointed toward one of the side streets. "Second house on the left."

Dean followed Sam's directions and coasted to a stop on the side of the road in front of the house. Whatever he had been expecting, it definitely wasn't this. Dean stared up at the two-story house. It was the typical family home, white with blue shutters on the windows and a huge wrap-around porch surrounded by a bed of brightly colored flowers. "Just missing the white picket fence," he muttered under his breath.

"This is it," Sam said as Dean turned off the car, the tick of the cooling engine loud in the sudden silence. "Home sweet home."

Sam climbed out of the car and Dean followed, only hesitating for a moment. He stood up and stretched before leaning over the hood, his elbows resting on the heated metal. "So this is where you grew up?"

Sam mirrored Dean's position and stared at him across the roof, grinning wide. "Yup."

Dean gave the house a wary glance. It looked so...normal. "Nice."

Sam gave Dean a strange look. "You sure you're ok with this? I mean, it's just my family, but if you're-"

Dean brushed off Sam's concern with a wave of his hand and Sam started laughing. "What exactly were you expecting?"

Farm in the middle of nowhere? Dark, dank cellar? Run-down cottage deep in the forest? Dean shrugged. "Just something a little less June and Ward Cleaver."

Sam snorted. "Dude, it's just a house." He opened the back door and reached inside for his bag. He stood up and gasped bringing a large hand up to his mouth. "I just thought of something. If the outside scares you, then the inside may give you nightmares."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Just for that, you can carry my bag."

"You can carry your own bag," Sam muttered but he slung it over his shoulder all the same.

Together they made their way up the front walk. Sam pushed open the door. "Mom? Dad? We're here."

"Samuel Speros, you get over here right now and give your mother a hug." A tiny blonde woman emerged from the other room, brushing her hands on her jeans. She held out her arms and Sam immediately stepped into them with a dimpled grin.

He bent at the waist and buried his nose in her neck. "Hi Momma."

She pulled back and clucked. "I swear you get taller every time I see you." She gave Sam one last soft smile before turning to Dean. "And this must be the infamous Dean. I've heard a lot about you."

Dean glanced over at Sam but his brother was staring at the floor, a faint red painting his cheeks. He turned to the woman, Sam's "mother," and gave her his most charming grin. "Well, I don't know about infamous."

He held out his hand but she just laughed and pulled him into a tight hug. Dean could feel himself blushing as he pulled away. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Speros."

She just shook her head. "None of that 'Mrs. Speros' nonsense. Please, call me Karen."

Sam kicked his bag into the corner and set Dean's down gently beside it. "Where's everyone else?"

A guy's voice sounded from the hall. "We've been out back waitin' on you, squirt."

"Only you would still call me squirt when I'm almost half a foot taller than you."

Sam's brother groaned as he entered the room. "And how unfair is that?"

"Tell me about it," Dean muttered.

Sam just rolled his eyes. "Dean, you remember Jason, right?"

Dean eyed the guy in front of him. Jason smiled and held out his hand. "Good to see you again, Dean."

Dean shook his hand to be polite but had to restrain himself from squeezing it too tight. "You too."

He grit his teeth and smiled back.

"Sam!"

Dean turned just as Sam got an armful of bouncing blonde. Sam laughed and stood up straight, the girl's feet dangling above the floor. "Hey Lisa."

He bent down, setting her back on the ground. She jabbed a finger into his chest. "It's not fair that Jason met Dean before me."

Sam laughed and stepped back, hands held up in protest.

"Not my fault, I swear. Jason just happened to be with me when we first met."

Lisa huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Fine I'll excuse you this time." She turned to Dean and gave him a sweet smile.

"Hi, I'm Lisa."

Dean gave her a small smile in return, feeling extremely uncomfortable. He was normally good in a room full of strangers, but this was a little different. Here he was surrounded by the people that stole his brother away from him. And they all looked so normal, harmless. But Dean knew appearances could be deceiving and he couldn't let his guard down. Not when he still didn't know what he was up against.

Sam's mom pat him on the cheek. "Why don't you and Dean go get settled in? Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes."

Sam leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. He whispered something in her ear and she laughed, swatting his arm as she returned to the kitchen.

Lisa sighed. "I should probably go back outside and make sure Graham and Dad haven't set the backyard on fire." Dean watched as she disappeared around the corner.

"Graham's here?"

Jason nodded and answered for his sister. "Yeah, and Jill is going to be here later. But she's on call, so who knows how long she'll get to stay."

"Wow, the gang's all here," Sam muttered.

Jason reached up and wrapped his arm around Sam's neck, pulling him down to ruffle his hair. "We were all ordered to come home. Mom made us. Something about her pwecious baby boy coming home for a visit."

Sam pulled away with a scowl. "Please tell me you're staying in the guest room."

"Nope." Jason shook his head and nodded toward the stairs. "We're both in our room. Cozy."

Sam frowned. "Why can't you stay in the guest room?"

"Already occupied."

"By who?"

Jason grinned. "Grandma."

Sam got an excited look on his face. "Grandma's here?"

"Not yet," Jason replied. "But she's supposed to get in late tonight."

Dean stood back watching the "brothers" talk, filing away bits and pieces of information as it was offered. He was starting to wonder if Sam had forgotten he was even there when Sam suddenly turned and motioned toward the stairs. "Come on, let's go on up."

Dean grabbed their bags and nodded at Jason as he passed.

Jason smirked and leaned forward against the railing at the bottom of the stairs. "Hey Sam! Don't forget you only have ten minutes. Better not start anything you can't finish."

Sam turned to glare down at his brother. "And you wonder why I never bring anyone home."

Jason just laughed and backed away out of sight.

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Ignore him. Please."

Dean didn't say anything, just followed Sam down the hall and into one of the rooms towards the end.

Sam tossed his bag on one of the beds and Dean took a moment to look around the room. There were two full-size beds taking up most of the space but it looked comfortable. A TV was set up in the corner surrounded by a couple of ancient game systems and various video games. There were posters on the wall, a couple Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, a few sports teams, and some musicians, everything at least a few years old.

"So, does your family know you're gay?" Dean moved over to one of the dressers and picked up the photo that was sitting on top. Sam was smiling back at him, one arm slung around Jason's shoulders. They were both covered in mud and Sam's hair was a disheveled mess.

Sam came up behind him, standing so close Dean felt his breath on the back of his neck. Dean resisted the urge to shiver. "Yeah, they were surprisingly cool about it. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. My family loves me no matter what." Sam reached over and brushed his thumb across the frame. "That was after a football game last Thanksgiving. There was this huge storm the night before and the field was a disaster area. We got so muddy, it was disgusting."

Dean set the frame down, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He needed to get a picture of him and Sam as kids from their dad, something tangible to prove that once upon a time, Sam had belonged to him.

"There isn't anything here that screams Sam." Dean glanced across the room again, deciding a subject change was necessary.

Sam shrugged. "Not surprising. I worshipped Jason growing up. For some stupid reason I tried to be just like him. Then I went to school and came to my senses."

He smiled as Dean moved to the bookcase. "No yearbooks?"

"Didn't really want one."

"No trophies?"

Sam cringed. "God, our team totally sucked." He grinned. "But damn, it was fun."

Dean continued exploring, anything to put some distance between him and Sam. They'd only just gotten there but Dean already felt like his world had been turned inside out. "No clothes that you could actually wear."

"Gave them to Goodwill when I grew out of them." Sam gave him a funny look. "What's with all the questions?"

Dean shrugged. "Don't know. Just seems a bit impersonal."

Sam snorted. "Well, I haven't lived here in three years, dude."

Dean growled low in his throat, frustrated because Sam seemed to have an answer for everything. It was as if Sam Winchester had never existed.

Sam threw his arm around Dean's shoulders. "Are we done playing twenty questions now?" He reached over and pat Dean on the chest. "Because if we are, I'm hungry. And if I know my family, there's probably enough food downstairs to feed an army."

Dean pulled away and turned to the bed. He set his bag down next to Sam's and took a deep breath.

"Dean? You ok, man?"

Dean turned and found Sam watching him with a worried frown. He shrugged, hoping to hide how very not ok he really was.

Sam's eyes followed Dean's line of sight and he blushed. "I can sleep on the couch if it makes you uncomfortable. I mean, I know it's-"

Dean's mind finally took note of Sam's stammering. He reached over and slapped a hand over his mouth. "It's fine. I'm fine. We're all fine. Ok?" Sam nodded and Dean pulled his hand away. "Now, did I hear you mention food? Because I'm starving."

Sam smiled. "Follow me."

Sam headed out of the room and down the stairs, Dean right on his heels. His heart was pounding at the idea of sharing a bed with Sam, things between them already shifting more than Dean was comfortable with. But there was no way Dean was letting Sam sleep anywhere but right next to him. Sam would be lucky if Dean let him out of his sight ever again. He let him go once and just look what happened.

He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

xxxxxx

Dinner with the Speros family was an event. For Dean, it was more of a spectator sport. It was an hour of tag-team storytelling and Dean was just trying to keep up. He'd never really done the family dinner thing with anyone outside his little family of three before. A meal with the Winchesters was filled with awkward silences and stilted conversation. But a meal with the Speros family was filled with lots of laughter and teasing banter. The fact that Sam fit into this world with such ease threw Dean's mind into a tailspin.

And that night, the topic of conversation was Sam-heavy. But Dean didn't mind that one bit.

"So Sam, did you ever tell Dean how you got that scar on your shoulder?"

Sam groaned and buried his face in his hands. He glanced up at Dean and sighed. "I was a stupid kid, ok?" He turned to glare at Jason. "And really gullible, too."

Jason held up his hands and laughed. "Not my fault you always listened to me."

Dean coughed to get their attention. "So what's the story?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "It's not even that interesting. Jason just convinced me that if you put a bucket on your head and someone hit you with a shovel, you couldn't get hurt. Like a superhero's helmet."

Dean snorted. "And you believed him?"

"I was seven." Sam stuck his lip out in a pout. "Of course I believed him."

Jason jumped in. "Anyway, Sam was just standing there with a bucket on his head and I was just about to take a swing with the shovel-"

"When I saw what you were doing and put a stop to it." Karen looked at her eldest son and raised her eyebrow.

Dean frowned. "But the scar?"

Sam sighed. "I heard Mom yelling and turned my head too fast. I ended up falling off the porch and landed on a rake." Sam pulled up his shirt sleeve, showing the thin white line that traced a path across his skin.

Dean swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. He remembered the truth behind that scar. It had been one of Sam's first hunts, a werecat. Their dad had ordered Dean to watch him but Dean assumed Sam could handle himself. Dean was being cocky, taunting the creature even though Sam kept telling him he should stop. The werecat knocked Dean to the side and dug its claws into Sam's shoulder before trying to drag him off. Dean managed to get back up and finish the creature off, but that thin layer of scar tissue was another reminder of how Dean had failed to protect Sammy.

Dean wondered what kind of scar tissue would be left behind if he ever got his Sam back.

Sam set down his glass and grinned at Dean, oblivious to his inner turmoil. "At least I turned when I fell. If I had fallen straight back, the rake would have probably pierced my chest."

Karen clucked. "Always my miracle baby."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Oh god, not this again."

"What?" Karen shook her head. "You were my miracle baby."

Dean looked around the table, everyone wearing a look of fond amusement as Sam's ears turned pink. Dean looked at Karen. "I'm sensing there's a story there?"

Karen looked over at Steve, Sam's father, and smiled. "We didn't think we'd be able to have any more children after Lisa. There were just too many problems when I gave birth to her and the doctors said that I was lucky to be alive. Having another child would be too risky."

Steve, a quiet man with gray around his temples, shifted in his seat and reached for his wife's hand. "But then we got lucky. We had stopped hoping but along came Sam."

"After thirteen hours and-"

"Seriously," Sam interrupted, face completely red. "Why are we talking about this?"

"Now now, Sam," Lisa said with a smile and laughing eyes. "You know how mom loves to tell her stories. But if that one doesn't work, you can always get her to tell Dean about how you met your best friend."

Jason started laughing and looked at Lisa. "Or how about that one time, on the way home from Grandma's-"

Lisa snorted and immediately covered her mouth with a hand. Sam's eyes grew wide. "No. You wouldn't."

"And the window...and he...oh and-" Lisa was laughing so hard, she wasn't making any sense, her words escaping as she gasped for air.

Graham, Lisa's fiancé, watched her, clearly amused. "Wait. I don't think I heard this one yet."

"And you're not going to!"

Dean chuckled at the look of pure mortification on Sam's face. Lisa's laughter was contagious and soon, everyone except for Sam was snickering.

Jason was the first to get himself under control. He took a deep breath. "So anyway, there we were-"

Sam dropped his head onto the table. "I hate you all."

That just made everyone laugh even harder.

xxxxxx

Dean shifted uncomfortably on the couch, his thigh rubbing against Sam's as he tried to focus on the game. The men were sprawled across the living room while the women chatted out back. The Angels were up by two but Dean couldn't bring himself to care. He wasn't much of a baseball fan, anyway.

"Oh come on!" Jason jumped up, yelling at the screen. He smacked Sam on the shoulder. "Did you see that!"

Sam glanced over at Dean and rolled his eyes. Sorry, he mouthed.

"So Dean, what exactly do you do for a living?"

Dean turned his attention to Sam's father. Before he could answer, though, Sam jumped in. "He does freelance work across the country. I already told you this."

Sam's father gave an amused chuckle. "Thank you, Sam. I was just trying to make conversation."

Dean laughed as Sam stuck out his lower lip in a pout. "I do security work." Close enough, anyway. "I find weaknesses in systems and exploit them. Basically, I get paid to break into places."

"That sounds interesting."

Dean nodded. "It can be."

Steve leaned forward in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees. "How long have you known Sam?"

His whole life. Forever.

"About two months."

Steve nodded. "And do you see yourself sticking around here for awhile?"

Dean frowned, suddenly feeling like he was being interrogated before a date. He wondered if he should promise to return Sam safe and sound by midnight, virtue intact.

"Dad," Sam growled, glaring at his father.

Steve turned his hands over, palms up. "What?"

"What are you doing?"

Steve shrugged. "I'm just getting to know Dean."

"No you're not." Sam huffed. "Getting to know Dean is asking what his favorite color is, which is blue, by the way. Or learning that he secretly loves old television reruns on Nick-at-Night but will only watch them when he thinks no one else is around."

Dean stared at Sam, eyes wide. Sam caught his eyes and flushed.

"Sam-" Steve started, his shoulders shaking, obviously trying not to laugh.

"No." Sam shook his head. "Start with the small stuff before you throw the shotgun and shovel speech at him."

The shotgun and shovel speech? Dean leaned close enough that only Sam could hear him. "They think we're dating, don't they?"

Sam didn't respond but the red tint to his ears was answer enough.

Jason leaned over and knocked Sam's shoulder with his own. "Relax, Sammy. We all had to put up with the third degree at one time or another."

Sam glared at Jason. "I'm not Sammy." He slouched back on the couch, arms crossed over his chest. "Sammy is the name you'd give a chubby twelve-year-old."

Jason chuckled and looked over at Dean with a roll of his eyes. Dean felt the corner of his mouth turn upwards in response. He shook his head at his reaction. He didn't want to bond with Jason over anything, much less being an older brother. An older brother to Sam.

"So what are you boys up to?" Lisa entered the living room with Jason's girlfriend, Jill, in tow.

Jason grinned at his sister. "Dad's questioning Dean."

"Steve!" Karen walked into the room and raised an eyebrow at her husband. "Don't you dare go scaring away the poor boy. It's not every day Sam actually brings somebody home to meet the family."

Steve only shrugged in response.

"Relax Mom. Sam stopped him before he got to the good stuff." Jason leaned back into the couch and Jill slipped onto his lap.

Graham laughed and looked over at Dean. "Yeah, man. You're getting off easy. I almost took off running when Steve pulled out the gun the first time I met him."

Dean tried to catch Sam's eyes but he was avoiding contact.

Lisa slipped down to sit on the floor in front of Graham and leaned back against his legs. "We should play a game. Trivial Pursuit or Monopoly or something."

Sam groaned but mouthed a silent thank you to his sister for the change of subject. "No way." He glanced over at Dean and grinned. "We're all a little bit competitive. One game of Uno can last all night."

Dean chuckled, grateful for Lisa's diversion, especially if it got Sam to look in his direction again.

Jill shifted on Jason's lap, tossing her feet onto Sam's legs. "How about a movie?"

Karen placed her hands on Steve's shoulders and shook her head. "Not for me, I’m afraid. It's been a long day."

Steve stood up and stretched. "Yeah, me neither. I'm beat."

Lisa looked over at Sam and Dean. "How about you guys?"

Sam glanced at Dean, his eyes echoing the question. Dean shrugged and Sam grinned. "Just no sappy chick flicks."

"Yeah, yeah." Lisa crawled over to the entertainment center and began flipping through the selection of DVDs.

Karen moved across the room to Sam who stretched up and wrapped his long arms around her neck. She kissed him on the cheek. "I'm glad you were able to come home."

Sam pulled back and gave her a soft smile. "Me too, Momma."

She then leaned over and hugged Dean. Dean just sat there, not knowing how to react. "And I'm so glad to finally meet you, Dean."

"You too," Dean mumbled, feeling awkward.

"Now don't anyone stay up too late." Karen addressed the room. "Grandma Mae will be here early morning and I want you all to join us for breakfast." She gave one last smile and left the room, dragging Steve behind her.

"How about the Matrix?" Lisa sat back on her heels. "Action for you boys and Keanu in leather for us girls. And Sam."

Dean grinned over at Sam as his brother blushed bright red. He nudged him in the shoulder and Sam just shook his head, embarrassed but amused.

The movie started up and everyone settled back in their places. Dean glanced around the room, noticing how they were all paired up, two by two by two. He briefly wondered if the realization that Sam's family believed they were an item should make him feel more uncomfortable than it did.

Dean found himself relaxing more and more as the movie rolled on. He had to remind himself that he couldn't let down his guard but it was getting harder and harder to maintain his distance and remain objective. He hated to admit it, but he actually liked Sam's family. They were just so normal.

Sam drifted closer to Dean as the night went on. By the time the final scene began to play, Sam's head was resting on Dean's shoulder, his eyes half closed. Dean knew he should shake him off. He didn't want to give Sam any ideas because that would give new meaning to the word awkward. He should, but he didn't have the heart. He caught Lisa watching them, a soft look on her face, and Dean tried not to blush.

When the credits rolled, Dean gently shook Sam's shoulder. "Come on, Sammy, let's get you to bed."

Sam mumbled something that Dean couldn't make out and let Dean pull him to his feet. He swayed slightly and Dean gripped his arm, holding him upright until he got his balance.

Jason looked up at them from his place on the couch and frowned. "Hey, why does he get to call you Sammy? You never let me get away with it."

Sam looked at him, eyebrows drawn together in thought. He finally shrugged. "Just seems right when he says it."

Dean felt warmth pool in his stomach and resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at Sam's brother before heading for the stairs. "We'll be up in a little bit," he heard Jason call out but he didn't turn around. He could feel Sam right on his heels, his breath warm on the back of his neck.

Dean was pulling an old t-shirt out of his bag when he heard the door shut behind him. He turned to find Sam leaning against the wall, watching him as he chewed on his lip. Dean just raised his eyebrow in a silent question.

Sam walked across the room, his movements slow with exhaustion. "Dean, I'm sorry."

Dean frowned. "What for?"

Sam shrugged and dropped his gaze to the bed. "I should've warned you. About the whole dating thing. It's just that they all kept asking me when I was going to meet someone and Jason mentioned you and it sort of snowballed-"

Dean held up his hand and shook his head. "It's ok, Sam. You don't have to explain."

"But I want to." Sam's voice was soft as he sat down on the bed and looked up at Dean. "It's no secret that I like you. I mean, I know I've made it pretty obvious. And I'm fine with the whole friends thing. But we just seem to have this connection, though, so when my mom assumed you were my boyfriend, I just let her think that. I don't know, maybe I just hoped that someday-"

Sam stood up and grabbed some clothes from his bag. He exhaled. "Anyway, that's it. If you want to take off now because everything's all weird, I'd understand."

"Sam-" Dean stopped and ran a hand across his face. He really had no idea how to react to the fact that Sam's feelings for him were so...strong. That he was holding out for a someday. His own thoughts and emotions were so mixed up, Dean didn't know where they stood. Sam was looking at him, though, apprehension and fear tugging the corners of his mouth down, and Dean knew he had to say something.

"I'm not going anywhere."

He watched as Sam's shoulders sagged with relief. Sam motioned to the bathroom door. I'm just gonna-" Dean nodded and Sam disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Dean sat down on the bed and buried his face in his hands. Things were just getting more complicated. His relationship with Sam kept shifting and Dean was having a hard time keeping it packed up in the neat little box labeled 'brother.' Sam was so much more to him now. Brother, friend, everything. Unfortunately, he was the only one that remembered that first one. And Sam was definitely hoping to add another facet to their already complicated relationship.

Sam came out of the bathroom and Dean switched placed with him. He took his time brushing his teeth, letting his mind wander. He thought about Sam and Sam's family. Sam was all smiles with them, relaxed and comfortable with himself in a way he'd never been before. Dean couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous over how easy Sam slotted into this new family. Dean wasn't sure what to make of everyone's memories, though. Were they all in on it, taking Sam from his own family and making him a part of theirs? If so, why? Or were they all pawns in some master plan? Dean remembered his earlier research on the djinn. What if this was all a dream? Did he have some secret desire for his brother that the genie recognized. Was this all a way for Dean to get what he didn't know he'd always wanted?

Dean shook his head at his reflection and rinsed his mouth out, spitting into the sink. He turned off the light and returned to the bedroom, shadows cast on the walls by the pale glow of a lamp on the bedside table. Sam was already asleep and Dean hesitated for a moment before slipping under the covers beside him.

Dean had slept in the same bed as Sam for years, much longer than was considered socially acceptable. Sam had always been a clingy bastard as a child, wrapping himself around Dean so tight that Dean feared he'd suffocate in his sleep. But that was then, before they got older and the distance between them grew too wide. Dean rolled onto his side and stared at Sam, the shadows playing across his face.

They may have shared a bed before, but this time was different. There was an intimacy here that wasn't there before.

As if sensing Dean was near, Sam rolled onto his side and settled his arm across Dean's hip. Dean chuckled to himself. Apparently Sam was still a clinger. Sam snuffled and Dean reached out, pushing a lock of Sam's hair away from his face, allowing himself this one tiny moment.

He closed his eyes and felt himself begin to drift. He knew he should be feeling uncomfortable, awkward in this unusual situation. But all of his senses were screaming out for Sam. The way he smelled, the way he felt lying next to him, it was all too familiar to be weird.

The door opened and Dean heard the soft whispers as Jason and Jill came into the room, trying to keep quiet. He could feel someone's eyes on him before he heard the breathy 'awww' from across the room. Sam's hand was a heavy weight on his hip and Dean wondered if he should move, try to regain some of the neutrality between them that had been lost since arriving at the Speros's home. But then Sam shifted and buried his nose in Dean's neck and Dean decided that he didn't really care.

Screw neutrality. When it was him and Sam, how neutral could he be?

xxxxxx

Dean woke slowly, a gentle ease into awareness. He felt well-rested and comfortable. He could feel the sun heating the room and the blanket was wrapped around him like a warm cocoon. He could hear Sam's steady breathing, the slow in and out letting him know that Sam was already awake.

With a low groan, Dean opened his eyes to find Sam staring at him. Sam grinned. "Mornin'."

Dean just grunted and Sam snickered. Dean reached up and rubbed a hand across his face, trying to wake up. He could feel Sam's hand warm and heavy on his stomach and he shivered.

Sam groaned and shifted, attempting to stretch without getting up. "God, this bed is too small. Hasn't really fit me since I was a freshman in high school."

Dean snorted. "I pretty much figured that out when you spent the night practically molesting me in my sleep."

Sam's eyes widened. "I what? Oh god, I'm sorry." He frowned. "Please tell me you at least got some sleep."

"Relax Sam, I slept like a baby." Dean grinned. "Apparently being weighed down by your gigantic ass cures insomnia."

"But you don't have insomnia."

"No." Dean conceded. "But if I did-"

Sam chuckled and sat up, swinging his feet onto the floor. Dean admired the long length of his back, covered only by a thin t-shirt. Sam bent over, stretching out, and his shirt lifted up to reveal a thin strip of tanned skin.

Dean swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. "So what's the plan?"

Sam shrugged. "Breakfast first. Then we'll figure something out. I could show you around town if you'd like."

He stood up and Dean took that as a sign to get moving. He rolled off the bed, twisting to stand before he could fall. Dean glanced down at his clothes and frowned, feeling exposed. He grabbed his jeans and tugged them on over his worn boxers.

Sam smirked, as if reading Dean's mind, and headed for the door. At Dean's look, he shrugged. "I'm comfortable. Besides, it's not like they haven't seen it before."

Dean just shook his head and followed Sam down the stairs. As they got closer to the kitchen, the smell of bacon filled the air and Dean's stomach growled. Sam laughed at the sound and bounded into the room.

Everyone was already at the table, laughing and talking amongst themselves. An older woman stood at the stove, flipping pancakes. She turned as they made their entrance, a wide smile on her face. "And there's the baby! It's about time you graced us with your presence."

Sam chuckled and wrapped his arms around her frail shoulders, giving her a squeeze. "Mornin' Grandma." He glanced over her shoulder and beamed, dimples showing. "Chocolate chip?"

"They're still your favorite, right?" She reached up and ruffled his hair. Or she tried to, at least. But with Sam towering over her, she simply settled for doing the best she could.

"Always and forever." Sam reached over and snagged a piece of bacon from a plate on the counter. He broke it in half and handed a piece to Dean. "Grandma, there's someone I'd like you to meet."

She turned around as Sam motioned for Dean to come closer. "Grandma Mae, this is my...this is Dean. Dean, this is my Grandma Mae."

Grandma Mae extended her hand. "Dean. I've heard so much about you."

Dean gave her a crooked grin. "Nothing good, I hope."

She laughed and tilted her head to the side. An odd expression washed over her face and Dean wanted to kick himself. Her smile faltered slightly, her eyes never leaving Dean's, and something in his chest tightened. "Oh dear."

Sam frowned. "What?"

Mae shifted and she glanced over at Sam, her expression softening as she took in his worried expression. She gave her head a little shake. "Oh, it's nothing. I was just hoping I'd have enough food."

Sam glanced at the plates littering the dining room table and laughed. "I think we're good, Gram."

"Well, you're a growing boy." She turned back to the stove and Dean felt like he could breathe again. "Sam, I think you've grown even more since Easter."

"Which I still say is completely unfair, if you ask me." Jason walked up and smacked Sam on the back of the head. "Dude, seriously, how many times am I going to have to wait on you before I can eat?"

Sam glared at his brother. "You could have woke me up, you know."

Jason shrugged. "Nah, you two looked so cozy together, didn't want to disturb you." Sam blushed and turned away, walking over to one of the cabinets and pulling down a couple of mugs.

Dean fell back to lean up against the wall, just watching everyone move around the room. Karen was filling glasses with water as Lisa set the table. Jason picked up a plate with the last of the pancakes and transported it to the center of the table.

Sam approached Dean with two steaming mugs of coffee. "Here you go. Black, just the way you like it."

Dean lifted the glass to his nose and inhaled. "God I love you."

Sam just rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth tilting upwards. "Sit your ass down and let's eat."

"Samuel Speros, you will not use that kind of language in my house." Karen turned and gave Sam a look.

Sam blushed again. "Um...oops? Sit your...self down and let's eat."

Dean chuckled and followed Sam to the table, sitting down next to him.

Jason took the spot across from Sam and raised an eyebrow. "Nice of you to get all dressed up, little bro."

Sam shrugged but didn't say anything. Lisa laughed. "You always did love running around the house in your underwear."

"At least the cape appears to have gone into retirement." Steve placed a couple of the pancakes on his plate before passing it to Sam on his right.

"Another story I should hear about?" Dean glanced over at Sam with an amused smile.

Sam shook his head. "Not particularly." He turned to his grandmother, effectively dropping the subject. "How long are you here, Grandma?"

"Probably just today, kiddo." Mae smiled at Sam and Dean pegged her as one of those doting grandparents. "I've got an early shift tomorrow. Little Tommy's turning six."

Sam leaned closer to Dean. "Grandma Mae volunteers in the children's wing of the hospital," he explained.

Dean nodded and glanced over at Sam's grandmother and found her watching him with a hint of worry in her eyes. He quickly looked away and took a drink of his coffee.

Breakfast passed by much as dinner had the night before. Lots of stories, lots of laughter. Sam answered the obligatory questions about school and his friends. Lisa and Graham talked about their upcoming wedding and Jason talked about pretty much everything else. Dean simply sat and listened, soaking in everything he could.

He couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling of being watched all throughout the meal but every time he looked over at Mae, her eyes were focused elsewhere. But Dean could tell she was hiding something.

One way or another, Dean was going to figure her out.

xxxxxx

After breakfast was over, Mae cornered Dean before he could escape upstairs. She looked over at Sam. "Sam, darling, why don't you go on up and shower. Dean can keep me company."

Sam turned to Dean and tilted his head to the side in a silent question. Dean gave him a sharp nod and turned to follow Mae into the living room. He heard Sam clomp up the stairs as he eyed the old woman warily.

"Please sit, Dean."

Dean shook his head. "No thanks, I'm good." He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

Mae sighed, as if she had expected his answer, and sat down in one of the overstuffed armchairs. She looked up at him, sadness in her eyes. "You're Sam's brother, aren't you?"

On second thought...Dean moved over to the couch before his legs could give out on him. He stared at Mae in shock. "I'm what now?"

"His brother. His real brother, that is."

Dean felt the quick flash of anger bubbling in his chest. "Look lady, I don't know what you think you know, but you better start talking."

"Before I get to Sam, I should probably tell you a little about myself. It might help you understand." Mae shifted in her chair and stared down at her hands.

Dean clenched his jaw. "I'm listening."

"I have this...gift. And while most people would never believe me, something tells me you will understand. And I'm a pretty good judge of character." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "When I was sixteen, I had this crush on Joe Speros. He was everything I wanted in a man. He was kind, intelligent, and so very handsome. He took my breath away. We grew up on the same street but Joe never noticed me."

Dean leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. He patiently waited for her to continue. If Mae could give him answers, he'd wait until the end of the world.

"I was your typical teenage girl. I wished so hard for Joe to notice me, that when he finally did, I was left speechless. I never really thought much about the how or the why of it all. We'd been married for almost two years before I realized I was different, that I could hope for things and they'd happen."

Dean frowned. "What? Like a genie? You just wished for things and they'd come true?"

Mae shook her head. "Not wish. Hope. There's a difference." She paused, trying to find the words to explain. "It had to be something that I wanted with all of my heart in the purest sense of it all. I hoped Joe would notice me and he did. I believe he loved me all on his own, but it took that special nudge to get him to see what was in front of him all along. And when I hoped and prayed for a child of my own, I became pregnant with Steve."

Dean looked at her, trying to decide if she was telling the truth or not. "So what does this have to do with Sam?"

"I'm getting there," she clucked. "When Jason was two, his parents were killed in a car accident. I was working for the Children's Orphanage back then and I found myself drawn to this sad little five-year old boy. He rarely smiled for anyone but me and I wanted nothing more than to give him the family he desperately wanted. Every time prospective parents would pass him by, his little face would fall. He was a gentle soul, not cut out for a life in the system."

Mae turned her sharp gaze on Dean and she gave him a sad smile. "My son always wanted a boy of his own. But when Karen went into labor with Lisa, there were complications. We almost lost Karen and the doctors told Steve there was no chance she'd have another child. I guess you can say I 'adopted' Jason into the family after that. I hoped he'd truly become one of us and he did. I'm the only one who knows he isn't truly a Speros. And now that knowledge is with you, as well."

Dean could see where this was headed. "And Sam?"

She gave him a look of apology. "I thought he had no family." She dropped her eyes and stared at her lap once more. "He said he had no family and he was so incredibly sad. Like Jason, his eyes told me he was completely alone. The devastation was pouring off him in waves. And I just wanted to make it better for him, give him a family."

"He already had a family," Dean growled. This woman was admitting to stealing his brother, wanting to keep him for herself. "And if you thought he didn't, how'd you know I was his brother?"

"I could just tell once I got a look at you. I don't understand how I know, I just know," she said softly. She looked up at Dean, her eyes wet. "And I’m truly sorry for everything. I've never been wrong before. Until now, that is. But when Sam told me he had no family, I believed him. You can't fake that kind of pain."

Dean's gut clenched at the mention of Sam in pain. "When was this?"

"I met Samuel on the bus to Stanford."

Dean couldn't breathe. He remembered that last night before Sam left, the angry words tossed between his father and brother. He'd left and when he returned, Sam was gone. His father had drunken himself into a stupor that night, staring into space. The following morning he told Dean to pack up and they moved on to the next hunt. Dean never found out what went down between them after he left. He was too scared to ask. Mae's words echoed in his head.

"He said he had no family?"

Mae nodded. "There's something about Sam that just drew me to him. I thought it was meant to be. This boy clearly needed a family and I needed to be able to give it to him. I hoped for it, prayed, and he became my family."

Dean shook his head. "Gives new meaning to 'wishful thinking,' doesn't it?" he muttered.

Mae gave him a soft smile. "I prefer to think of it as 'heart's desire.'"

"Great," Dean raised his eyebrows. "So how do we fix it?"

Mae glanced away. "We don't."

"Excuse me?" Dean couldn't have heard her correctly. "What do you mean we don't? Sam's my brother and I want him back. You can't just keep him."

"I don't know how." Mae looked at him, her expression pained. "The gift rarely works for me and when it does, it's my heart's truest desire."

"So wish him back to normal." Dean glared at her. This lady had the ability to give Sam back his memories. There had to be a way to convince her it was the right thing to do. Dean clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together. He was so close to having his brother back.

Mae shook her head. "I wish it were that easy. But Sam's been a part of my family for years now. I love him as if he were my own. I can't just make that go away."

She wrung her hands together. She looked up at Dean, eyes pleading. "You have to understand. He's my family."

"No, you have to understand," Dean growled. "Sam's my family. I watched him grow up. I'm the one who taught him how to ride a bike. I made sure he had dinner every night. I made sure he got to school ok every morning. I'm the one who lost him because he suddenly felt like he had no family left. I'm the one that let him down. I just want my brother back. Just make the damn wish and give him back."

Dean could feel the anger and frustration pulsing in his veins as he stared at her, his eyes wide. Mae stood up and offered him another sad smile. "I truly am sorry, Dean. But I can't give him up. My heart would be lying."

"Wait. That's it? You're just going to say 'no' and walk away?"

Mae stopped and turned around, eyes on Dean. Dean took a deep breath and swallowed his pride. "Please, just give him back."

He closed his eyes at the broken plea. He hated that she was forcing him to beg. But he'd do whatever it took to get his Sammy back.

Mae's lip quivered and she looked away, unable to meet Dean's gaze any longer. "I can't." She reached a hand toward Dean but pulled back before she touched him. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Can't? Or won't?" Dean couldn't keep the bitterness from his voice.

She glanced at him, eyes swimming with unshed tears. "I can't. I don't know how."

Dean watched as she walked out of the room and then turned his attention to a spot on the wall. His mind was reeling with the new knowledge of Mae's gift and the truth behind what happened to Sam.

She couldn't reverse it.

Dean felt that statement like a punch to the gut. One stupid, awful night, another horrible fight, and his life was changed forever. His Sam, his baby brother, would never be the same.

Dean closed his eyes and took in a shaky breath. He was at a loss, not knowing where to go from there. He just sat there, one line playing over and over in his head on a constant loop.

She couldn't reverse it.

He had his answers. But what the hell was he supposed to do now?

Part 3