My bad
So, I was re-reading some of my stuff and thinking about my last conversation with Shady and realized I screwed up on something. His conference that he is presenting 2 things at is in (I want to say) March, but could be April, and that is in Conneticut, NOT Baltimore. He is going to Baltimore in May to visit his uncle. The CT trip will be from Friday to Sunday (he's scheduled to work on Friday, so he's trying to find someone to cover for him) so he won't be gone for long. His Baltimore trip, which is the one where he is taking the train, is for 5 days and in May. Maybe I'll go down with him. Not to mooch on his trip with his family, but depending on when in May he goes, it could be close to E1's birthday (his 6th already!!!!!!! *shocked look!!) and I haven't seen Short Stuff since E1 was 6 MONTHS old. And the way I'm losing weight, I'd be comfortable to see her. I know that I'm her best friend and my weight shouldn't be an issure, but she is sooooo tiny!!! She's a freaking size 2 for crying out loud!!! I'm a tad bit bigger than that. But, I have been losing weight really quickly (YAY!), so by then maybe I'll be thin enough to not be self consious. Maybe I'll even be thinner than when I went down there for Thanksgiving. My face is most definitely thinner already than then. And I'd go by train ONLY if Shady was with me. (Y'all know my fear of the trains....thank you Nathan De Costa!)I can't believe I'm still up. It's freaking 4:45 a.m.!!! And I want to listen to a couple of songs before I come back in here to go to bed. And my back is really hurting me. =o( Speaking of my rapid weight loss, did I mention my Old Navy jeans? If you've bought jeans at Old Navy, you know they are cut a bit smaller than their other pants/slacks. So, I bought a rather large pair, but the way they fit was amazing....showed off my curves and my ass, and you'd never believe it was the size they were. I was happy that I could wear my sexy black leather and whip belt with it. On the second notch, it just fit....didn't need it to hold up the jeans. But I was comfortable. Then, it was my birthday and I started the weight loss much more rapidly. Now, a little over a month since I bought them, not only have I had to add 2 MORE notches to keep them up, but when Shady was over here the other night for our date to TGI Friday's. We were joking around....he was "happy" (He has a different meaning for when I make him happy) and he managed to fit BOTH hands down my jeans past the wrists because he didn't believe I was wearing thongs. Now, to my friends who may be reading this from school who remember what I looked like even on graduation day, would be VERY surprised what I look like now. Hell, I've seen Alayna a couple of times over the months since then and each time she is surprised when she sees me. Just don't like food anymore. My therapist thinks that part of it could be related subconsciouslly to the oral rape I incurred that night. (layman's terms.....having a dick shoved down my throat makes me not want to put food in my mouth) And I've stopped liking food. When I go out to eat, I eat as much as I can, because Shady is paying for it. That's only fair. But if we have a date that day, I don't eat a THING all day. When I don'th ave a date, I might (stress MIGHT) munch on low-to-fat free foods and drink a LOT of water and juices. I think in teh past 3 or 4 months I've had a total of 4 sodas. OH HOLY CRAP MY BACK HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I could just take some pills, but I'm not going to. I told Shady I wouldn't take any tonight to "test" myself, so I have a feeling I'll be getting a call soon from him to make sure I'm ok. He says its fine to take a dose of the Vicodin. But I don't want to. I don't want to wear the patches. I don't want the drugs in mysystem. I want to be the girl I used to be, especially now that I have a wonderful boyfriend who would walk on water for me. OH! And I really shouldn't buy CD's online at this hour. But I did get the 2 disc set of "Slow Motion" which has all these love songs on it, and I'm saving that for when Shady sleeps over here for the first time, which won't be for a while because he said he won't until my room is CLEAN and my bed is against the wall. (that is for both of us....b/c of the rape) Ok. I'm going to go listen to "My Boo" and think of my honey and then come back in here, crawl into bed, watch some tv, and try to get some sleep for 5 hours. Won't work be fun tonight!!! I wish he was done with his presentations.....Shady that is. I miss my baby and want to see him. MAYBE Thursday night and we are hoping on doing lunch with momon Friday. But that is all in the post below so I'm just gonna go now. Y'all have a good night and play naughty!!!!
~moi~
~moi~