this is not an exit
Lately, I've felt inspired. Maybe that's why I'm returning to livejournal, to pick up pieces, take the bull by the horns and make things happen for myself. Unfornately, when I feel this way typically, I don't even get to make a shoddy attempt at putting my words into practice; they just sort of hit the air like a bird into a windowpane and waft toward the ground. It's hard to keep up your drive, isn't it? Am I alone on that? Is it only me who feels like it's really difficult to stay motivated? The point is, I bought a Theatre Bay Area magazine today, and I think I'm going to start auditioning for professional theatre. What the hell, I have hardly six months left in this area potentially before I go to college; let's get crackin! So I've highlighted a bunch of shows I could audition for, we'll see where I go with that. Also, it's high time I got an agent. Who's for that? Joelle Wagner, my good buddy, told me after we'd eaten dessert that she recently got her headshots taken. Why not me too, right? Agreed, stupendous. As well, following my unprecidented encounter with Mr. Gill recently, I've thought a lot about trying to write things. So the plan for now is to keep myself focused. Ritalin would help me do that, yeah? or speed?
Is it time for me to make it to the top of the world yet?
Actchewally. What's really waiting for me in college? I'll show up there and run myself into unproductive social cliques, and eventually run myself straight out of school, having preoccupied myself too much with sex, drugs, rock, and, yes that's right, roll. That first couple of weeks will prove a waste of time,then I'll return to Foothill, then a year later weasel my way into UCLA theatre. I'm rationalizing my feelings should Occidental or Loyola Marymount realize that my shitty 3 am essays are in fact just that, and moreover decide that a 3.0 just is not elite enough. If they reject me I'll say, well, good, I don't even have to deal with that first year rubbish. Yes, you read correctly, I'm holding out for two schools. Two and only two. Normally I would say, "My 1410 and 3.0 should balance each other safely, right?" with some potentially unjustified optimism, but those SAT 2's may bite me in the buttock. I did great in Writing, tremendously even, 790 out of 800: 97th percentile... However, 29th percentile in both Math and French is a tragedy so many times over itself. To be honest, (I don't know if this is too egregious to say here, but) there's a part of me that would not mind winding up at Foothill and figuring out how to actually go about this college thing. I just never got on top of it, didn't ask for help, consequently never received any.
Somehow, someway, before I go to college, if I go to college, Tucker Mulcahy and Matt Sobel (on leave from his rigorous Young and Modern schedule) and I will put up 'Art' by Yasmina Reza.
There are a lot of roads I can almost take, and I think I feel pretty good about that. Some I feel better about than others, some just frustrate me to the core of my soul. What I should do, is choose one, charge ahead, get shot down, find my footing, charge on again. Yes? Good!
Onward Christian soldiers.
W I L L
Is it time for me to make it to the top of the world yet?
Actchewally. What's really waiting for me in college? I'll show up there and run myself into unproductive social cliques, and eventually run myself straight out of school, having preoccupied myself too much with sex, drugs, rock, and, yes that's right, roll. That first couple of weeks will prove a waste of time,then I'll return to Foothill, then a year later weasel my way into UCLA theatre. I'm rationalizing my feelings should Occidental or Loyola Marymount realize that my shitty 3 am essays are in fact just that, and moreover decide that a 3.0 just is not elite enough. If they reject me I'll say, well, good, I don't even have to deal with that first year rubbish. Yes, you read correctly, I'm holding out for two schools. Two and only two. Normally I would say, "My 1410 and 3.0 should balance each other safely, right?" with some potentially unjustified optimism, but those SAT 2's may bite me in the buttock. I did great in Writing, tremendously even, 790 out of 800: 97th percentile... However, 29th percentile in both Math and French is a tragedy so many times over itself. To be honest, (I don't know if this is too egregious to say here, but) there's a part of me that would not mind winding up at Foothill and figuring out how to actually go about this college thing. I just never got on top of it, didn't ask for help, consequently never received any.
Somehow, someway, before I go to college, if I go to college, Tucker Mulcahy and Matt Sobel (on leave from his rigorous Young and Modern schedule) and I will put up 'Art' by Yasmina Reza.
There are a lot of roads I can almost take, and I think I feel pretty good about that. Some I feel better about than others, some just frustrate me to the core of my soul. What I should do, is choose one, charge ahead, get shot down, find my footing, charge on again. Yes? Good!
Onward Christian soldiers.
W I L L