Sexual discrimination.. or lack thereof
First of all, I'm doing this in English 'cause I need to exercise for my TOEFL test due in a couple of weeks, so I deeply apologize for any misspelling or grammar error (horror) you're going to find.
Now, before I start you have to keep one thing clear in mind: I'm not a strict feminist.
I mean, of course I do have some pride and I'm really pissed off when I see discrimination based on sex (well, actually every kind of discrimination pisses me off a LOT); you could say I am generally Anti-Discrimination.
But here I'm talking about the kind of feminist that want to see women over men, getting revenge for all the years of discrimination and submission (come on, that is just the same discrimination reversed), and the kind of feminist who wants equal social rights but throws a fit when her man doesn't buy her dinner, doesn't carry her everywhere, doesn't keep the door of the car open for her to sit inside and so forth (sort out your priorities, lady).
This notion seems pretty useless, but it'll all make sense in a bit, I promise.
Being a Computer Science student and being female at the same time isn't always pleasant (at least not in my country): some professors doubt your work more than they would have done if you were male, some of your classmates (the creepy ones) look at you like you're a very juicy steak on a plate with potatoes on the side, some others don't look at you at all and run away when you're approaching.
You have to constantly prove you can do it, because almost everybody expects you to drop everything because it's too difficult and run away screaming in the opposite direction; so you get a lot of strange looks as if to say “are you sure?” “please don't break in front of me” and so on.
At the same time, it's not so bad. Actually, after a first moment of general surprise, sexual discrimination is almost absent.
Because despite the opinion that the world has on Computer Science students (creepy nerds, crawling in the dark with bottle-thick eyeglasses, dirty and smelly) we're just normal people. Yeah, OK, we have quite the number of sociopaths, but then again every faculty has its own social cases. At least ours is not “hipster squee-ing silly girls who couldn't read a book for their lives”.
Despite the fact that your being female causes a moment of confusion in most of your classmates, they can judge and consider your work, understand it (like NOBODY outside the faculty does, because it's a miracle that some people can turn on their computers without causing any damage, let alone understand what a programmer does) and come to the quick conclusion that you are just an average student, that you have subject you excel in and ones you are total crap at, like everybody else, thank you very much.
Regarding the professors the matter is a bit different. In may experience there are four types of male professors:
The One Who Doesn't Care: couldn't care less if you are male or female, doesn't recognize you and never will, he's there because he's paid/likes his job/has time to spare. Sometimes if you REALLY try, are always in the front of the classroom, ask questions (not dumb ones) during the lecture or answer correctly, you get a vague look of recognition when they cross you in the corridor.
The One Who Hates Them All: he loathes every type of student, male, female or anything in between. He will be pissed off with everybody who dares to interrupt one of his precious lectures to ask a question, he will always answer that question in the worst possible way hoping that you will feel stupid for asking.
The Cool One: knows the names of almost every one of his students after the first trimester, and when the number of students is over 80 you can call that a miracle; female names are the first to be learned, mostly because few women are easily recognizable in a huge mass of men, but in time everybody will receive the same kind of treatment. Values your work for what it is and is perfectly capable of telling you that your code is crap, when your code is crap.
The One Who Thinks You're Retarded: knows you're a woman, and isn't really sure you belong there. He's never directly mean, not on purpose, but every time he looks at you he get that weird “are you sure this is the place you have to be?” look that after a time REALLY gets on your nerves. Not to mention the casual comments on you being a woman (yeah, I've been a woman for 22 years and I know that without your insightful opinion). Doubts your work more than necessary, and he's actually surprised when you manage to succeed.
But since the last is my favorite, let me tell you a bit more regarding my direct experience.
I have to say, I'm not a brilliant student: I'm quite slow on the uptake, but eventually I manage. I got average marks on almost every subject, few excellent marks here and there, a couple of low marks.
What I need you to understand is that I don't want people to treat me like I'm a genius, because most definitely I'm not.
I'm fine with professors telling me I shouldn't start a project because it's too difficult for me, because most of the time I can see myself when something is beyond my capabilities, but when I don't it's nice having someone with actual experience guiding me in this kind of choices.
The first time I had an hint about the real identity of this professor (who really started out as a mix between the first and the second category: I assume that you are an Idiot, capitalized, but you can prove me wrong, although I don't really care if you will) was the first time I asked a question during a lecture: he looked quite surprised and instead of answering the usual way (I will grace you with some of my infinite knowledge) he started talking slower, looking at me as if he expected me not to understand the answer.
I was a bit puzzled, but hey, weirdos are everywhere right? The fact that he is an excellent professor doesn't mean he isn't a bit barmy.
I didn't really paid much attention to that, I was really glad I got the answer I was looking for without going through all the “Common mortal, even if your low status doesn't allow you to see my full light, know that I am an infinite source of power and kernel recompiling capabilities” introduction.
The second time I asked a question during a lecture, it was a bit more obvious. To make it quick and don't bore people who don't know what I'm talking about the basic problem was this: I had some difficulties installing the latest version of Ubuntu (an Operating System, like Microsoft Windows or MacOS) on a machine with seven years old hardware, particularly the GPU; browsing the internet I found next to nothing, so I decided to ask.
In the five minutes preceding the start of the lesson, the professor usually left space for question regarding every possible matter related to computer science (a really useful thing to do). That day, when I saw that no questions were going to be asked, I timidly raised my hand and asked if he had any notion about what kind of hardware was supported by the latest version of Ubuntu, and if he had any occasion to try it on any machine.
Not an outstanding question, but for god's sake it was legitimate and not particularly dumb.
However, after a first “I don't bother using simple Operating System that are provided with an easy interface” preamble, he kindly suggested that if my problem persisted, I should have tried seeking the answer on the Ubuntu-Women website, full of simple tutorials step by step.
I took that as a joke, but if you stop and think about it for a moment it wasn't the best thing to say to one of your students.
I lightly laughed it off, the “bit barmy” thing still applied, and after all he is kind of like that with everybody. So I told the tale to everyone of my friend who wasn't present at the moment and quickly it became the most popular way to have a good laugh all together.
You have to realize that almost everyone of my classmates knows about it, so the second time it happened it was really hard not to burst out laughing at his face with half of the classroom snickering and giggling behind your seat.
It happened a few months later, four I think, when I dared to ask another question (during a lesson and extremely pertinent to what he was talking about) feeling positive about getting a straight answer. Not only he repeated his suggestion to consult Ubuntu-Women, but added that there were even tutorials written in an English so easy that everybody could understand them.
As I said, I tried to maintain a straight face and thanked him right away. The moment he turned toward the chalkboard, half the class (me included) burst out in a silent laugh and endless sniggering, and I even got some high fives from my friends sitting beside me.
I took all of this (and more, but I don't want to bore any of you) with humor, and today as the first day I'm convinced that being mean or offensive never crossed his mind for a second. In fact his opinion of me never affected my grades, which were absolutely in line with my comprehension of the subject.
He probably will always think I'm a bit retarded, but hey, who doesn't?
But I tell you this: the look of surprise on his face when I passed his exam right away (after months of exhausting study) was priceless.
I will now underline something that probably you didn't notice, caught up in this beautiful chronicle as you were: Ubuntu Women.
I have to say, I'm baffled. It really does exist! Some women decided to discriminate themselves creating a support to allow women to learn how to use an operating system!
It's like suddenly some women decided to start giving Driving Lessons for women only!
I think that going around with a tattoo on your forehead saying “I'm retarded” will give others a better impression; at least you won't involve an ENTIRE GENDER in your brilliant projects.
Last Christmas I gave my boyfriend a book called something on the line of “Cooking for Men, what to do when you're a complete washout”.
You will understand that this is clearly meant as a joke, because a recipe is a recipe in every way you look at it. There is no recipe for men or for women, the same way there is no tutorial for men or for women. There is no way to learn how to use a computer differently if you're a woman or if you're a man.
I haven't been completely fair to the Ubuntu Women project, because one of its purposes is to bring more women to the point of discovering the magic world of Operating Systems different from Windows or MacOS, which I fully support.
But in a way my personal opinion is that they're doing more damage than good.
I think I achieved my purpose of refreshing my writing skills, so I'm going do draw a brief conclusion and let you go.
Probably I'm going to see an higher level of sexual discrimination when I'll start working, because the ones who really perform discrimination on women are the ones who don't know a thing about Computer Science, and just assume that because we are fewer than men, we are worth less.
But I was really glad that beside these minor (and quite funny) incidents there is no discrimination whatsoever inside the University environment.
And remember: your computer doesn't care if you're a man or a woman as long as you treat it well ;)
And also:
Now, before I start you have to keep one thing clear in mind: I'm not a strict feminist.
I mean, of course I do have some pride and I'm really pissed off when I see discrimination based on sex (well, actually every kind of discrimination pisses me off a LOT); you could say I am generally Anti-Discrimination.
But here I'm talking about the kind of feminist that want to see women over men, getting revenge for all the years of discrimination and submission (come on, that is just the same discrimination reversed), and the kind of feminist who wants equal social rights but throws a fit when her man doesn't buy her dinner, doesn't carry her everywhere, doesn't keep the door of the car open for her to sit inside and so forth (sort out your priorities, lady).
This notion seems pretty useless, but it'll all make sense in a bit, I promise.
Being a Computer Science student and being female at the same time isn't always pleasant (at least not in my country): some professors doubt your work more than they would have done if you were male, some of your classmates (the creepy ones) look at you like you're a very juicy steak on a plate with potatoes on the side, some others don't look at you at all and run away when you're approaching.
You have to constantly prove you can do it, because almost everybody expects you to drop everything because it's too difficult and run away screaming in the opposite direction; so you get a lot of strange looks as if to say “are you sure?” “please don't break in front of me” and so on.
At the same time, it's not so bad. Actually, after a first moment of general surprise, sexual discrimination is almost absent.
Because despite the opinion that the world has on Computer Science students (creepy nerds, crawling in the dark with bottle-thick eyeglasses, dirty and smelly) we're just normal people. Yeah, OK, we have quite the number of sociopaths, but then again every faculty has its own social cases. At least ours is not “hipster squee-ing silly girls who couldn't read a book for their lives”.
Despite the fact that your being female causes a moment of confusion in most of your classmates, they can judge and consider your work, understand it (like NOBODY outside the faculty does, because it's a miracle that some people can turn on their computers without causing any damage, let alone understand what a programmer does) and come to the quick conclusion that you are just an average student, that you have subject you excel in and ones you are total crap at, like everybody else, thank you very much.
Regarding the professors the matter is a bit different. In may experience there are four types of male professors:
The One Who Doesn't Care: couldn't care less if you are male or female, doesn't recognize you and never will, he's there because he's paid/likes his job/has time to spare. Sometimes if you REALLY try, are always in the front of the classroom, ask questions (not dumb ones) during the lecture or answer correctly, you get a vague look of recognition when they cross you in the corridor.
The One Who Hates Them All: he loathes every type of student, male, female or anything in between. He will be pissed off with everybody who dares to interrupt one of his precious lectures to ask a question, he will always answer that question in the worst possible way hoping that you will feel stupid for asking.
The Cool One: knows the names of almost every one of his students after the first trimester, and when the number of students is over 80 you can call that a miracle; female names are the first to be learned, mostly because few women are easily recognizable in a huge mass of men, but in time everybody will receive the same kind of treatment. Values your work for what it is and is perfectly capable of telling you that your code is crap, when your code is crap.
The One Who Thinks You're Retarded: knows you're a woman, and isn't really sure you belong there. He's never directly mean, not on purpose, but every time he looks at you he get that weird “are you sure this is the place you have to be?” look that after a time REALLY gets on your nerves. Not to mention the casual comments on you being a woman (yeah, I've been a woman for 22 years and I know that without your insightful opinion). Doubts your work more than necessary, and he's actually surprised when you manage to succeed.
But since the last is my favorite, let me tell you a bit more regarding my direct experience.
I have to say, I'm not a brilliant student: I'm quite slow on the uptake, but eventually I manage. I got average marks on almost every subject, few excellent marks here and there, a couple of low marks.
What I need you to understand is that I don't want people to treat me like I'm a genius, because most definitely I'm not.
I'm fine with professors telling me I shouldn't start a project because it's too difficult for me, because most of the time I can see myself when something is beyond my capabilities, but when I don't it's nice having someone with actual experience guiding me in this kind of choices.
The first time I had an hint about the real identity of this professor (who really started out as a mix between the first and the second category: I assume that you are an Idiot, capitalized, but you can prove me wrong, although I don't really care if you will) was the first time I asked a question during a lecture: he looked quite surprised and instead of answering the usual way (I will grace you with some of my infinite knowledge) he started talking slower, looking at me as if he expected me not to understand the answer.
I was a bit puzzled, but hey, weirdos are everywhere right? The fact that he is an excellent professor doesn't mean he isn't a bit barmy.
I didn't really paid much attention to that, I was really glad I got the answer I was looking for without going through all the “Common mortal, even if your low status doesn't allow you to see my full light, know that I am an infinite source of power and kernel recompiling capabilities” introduction.
The second time I asked a question during a lecture, it was a bit more obvious. To make it quick and don't bore people who don't know what I'm talking about the basic problem was this: I had some difficulties installing the latest version of Ubuntu (an Operating System, like Microsoft Windows or MacOS) on a machine with seven years old hardware, particularly the GPU; browsing the internet I found next to nothing, so I decided to ask.
In the five minutes preceding the start of the lesson, the professor usually left space for question regarding every possible matter related to computer science (a really useful thing to do). That day, when I saw that no questions were going to be asked, I timidly raised my hand and asked if he had any notion about what kind of hardware was supported by the latest version of Ubuntu, and if he had any occasion to try it on any machine.
Not an outstanding question, but for god's sake it was legitimate and not particularly dumb.
However, after a first “I don't bother using simple Operating System that are provided with an easy interface” preamble, he kindly suggested that if my problem persisted, I should have tried seeking the answer on the Ubuntu-Women website, full of simple tutorials step by step.
I took that as a joke, but if you stop and think about it for a moment it wasn't the best thing to say to one of your students.
I lightly laughed it off, the “bit barmy” thing still applied, and after all he is kind of like that with everybody. So I told the tale to everyone of my friend who wasn't present at the moment and quickly it became the most popular way to have a good laugh all together.
You have to realize that almost everyone of my classmates knows about it, so the second time it happened it was really hard not to burst out laughing at his face with half of the classroom snickering and giggling behind your seat.
It happened a few months later, four I think, when I dared to ask another question (during a lesson and extremely pertinent to what he was talking about) feeling positive about getting a straight answer. Not only he repeated his suggestion to consult Ubuntu-Women, but added that there were even tutorials written in an English so easy that everybody could understand them.
As I said, I tried to maintain a straight face and thanked him right away. The moment he turned toward the chalkboard, half the class (me included) burst out in a silent laugh and endless sniggering, and I even got some high fives from my friends sitting beside me.
I took all of this (and more, but I don't want to bore any of you) with humor, and today as the first day I'm convinced that being mean or offensive never crossed his mind for a second. In fact his opinion of me never affected my grades, which were absolutely in line with my comprehension of the subject.
He probably will always think I'm a bit retarded, but hey, who doesn't?
But I tell you this: the look of surprise on his face when I passed his exam right away (after months of exhausting study) was priceless.
I will now underline something that probably you didn't notice, caught up in this beautiful chronicle as you were: Ubuntu Women.
I have to say, I'm baffled. It really does exist! Some women decided to discriminate themselves creating a support to allow women to learn how to use an operating system!
It's like suddenly some women decided to start giving Driving Lessons for women only!
I think that going around with a tattoo on your forehead saying “I'm retarded” will give others a better impression; at least you won't involve an ENTIRE GENDER in your brilliant projects.
Last Christmas I gave my boyfriend a book called something on the line of “Cooking for Men, what to do when you're a complete washout”.
You will understand that this is clearly meant as a joke, because a recipe is a recipe in every way you look at it. There is no recipe for men or for women, the same way there is no tutorial for men or for women. There is no way to learn how to use a computer differently if you're a woman or if you're a man.
I haven't been completely fair to the Ubuntu Women project, because one of its purposes is to bring more women to the point of discovering the magic world of Operating Systems different from Windows or MacOS, which I fully support.
But in a way my personal opinion is that they're doing more damage than good.
I think I achieved my purpose of refreshing my writing skills, so I'm going do draw a brief conclusion and let you go.
Probably I'm going to see an higher level of sexual discrimination when I'll start working, because the ones who really perform discrimination on women are the ones who don't know a thing about Computer Science, and just assume that because we are fewer than men, we are worth less.
But I was really glad that beside these minor (and quite funny) incidents there is no discrimination whatsoever inside the University environment.
And remember: your computer doesn't care if you're a man or a woman as long as you treat it well ;)
And also: