(no subject)
Restlessness. I hate this feeling. It makes it extremely hard to get anything down in words. Today has been uneventful. For some reason the fact that I am alone today has been wearing down on my heavily . Everything just feels so empty. Silence is killing me. My only companion today has been my thoughts. My mind just keeps wandering. I wonder what I'm doing here. At this very point, this very instant, and what will come next? Not knowing is the killer question of the day. Only time will tell and I hate that. Sometimes it feels like I've been going through the motions, living to please others and putting myself on the back burner. I care too much about other people's feelings, completely forgetting about myself. I need a breather. I feel like I'm suffocating. The air around me is thick and heavy. In many ways I feel trapped. I'm annoyed with the mundane routine of my life. The same old story, the same old situation...day after day after day...it won't stop and I want off this ride. I'm anxious. Ready for a change I suppose. My vacation is less than a month way, and it couldn't get here soon enough. I need out. Out of my job, out of Indiana, out of school, out of playing the part. I'm constantly looking forward, anxiously counting down the days, ready to not have a care in the world. If I woke up tomorrow and was told to just pack up my bags and I go, I really think I would.
"I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape." ~relient k
^^this just fits the moment.
"I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape." ~relient k
^^this just fits the moment.