(no subject)
Wow i cant believe i finally get to write this down. i did something well a little crazy today, in honesty tho i have thought about doing it for over a year, it intrigued me...i got my nipples pierced..i have my tongue and nose..boy the nose one hurt! Surprizingly enough these didnt hurt as much or as much as i thought..thank goodness! pain can be fun but mmmm that kinda fun isnt me..giggle. they are going to be sore and a constant reminder of this wild think i've done for at least a week if not more. i was very excited yet incrediable nervous, i am a prude and dont even look at myself much less have someone else...no matter how professional, doctors included. it was nerve racking but i think i handled it well. thought i might be sick for a moment or two but it passed and then in 15 minutes it was all done. Now the guys in my life that is another story..Dan called and 'held my hand' til my phone went dead -big frown- but at least he tried by telling me of his family more and even his life, it was very nice, but a little part of me couldnt help but think he was doing it to get too me, my wretched over thinking again..Rod on the other ..sigh..he is attempting to be a harder dom, but even there i feel he trying too hard or is simple mad at me. pooey i hate this. But i have made a goal..all of this -will- and i mean will decide my next weekend if not sooner. i like both men i really do both have been great friends, tho Dan seems to know me..thing i think, even want, to the point where his constantly being right makes me want to put a hand over his mouth and ask him to shush. and Rod well he is trying very hard to be a dom. maybe too hard, right now it only seems if he is mad at me, which really both should be i should have stepped back before this got to here, but i didnt and now i have to do it when it is going to be more ..rough. Well i made up my mind and hurt Rod in the process. but the relief..it almost made me feel guilty..well it did..but still..i cant believe the relief..hugs self.. he simple was emotional strong enough for me. seeing this i knew months..i want to enjoy it..goodnight sleep sweet