(no subject)
i am so confused right now i want to help her so much but there is only so much i can do. i feel so selfish in a way... i find it almost scary how when ppl fight or get their feelings hurt the way they can think about it non stop but still be so clueless i see some of the stuff going on around me and i look at the ppl who are telling me things and i just want to say to them, "If only you knew what I know." and i dont want to know some of the things i do but i have no control and hate that. in a past jounal entry i had mentioned that i wasnt really sure of who i am as a person but now i have found out some things or atleast come to acknowledge things that are right in front of me that i hate about myself not that there werent things i hated before...like for instance i had never wanted to be older than i was before i was always content with my age but now,the fact that i am fifteen just keeps getting thrown in my face. i cant stay out as late, i'm "jailbait", lots of things and it gets to me. okay so i dont really like anyone now but what if i do meet some guy that i like but hes eighteen or older. why do guys automatically rule out girls who are underage. do u have to get in the pants of every girl u talk to is it possible for teh male species to get to know a girl with out freaking out about the whole inderage thing its not illegal to date girls who are underage only to have sex with them and well guys unless u tell the whole fricken world that u had sex with teh girl does it really matter if u do or not no one would ever know.unless u tell them so all u need to do is make sure u can trust the person.okay new subject! i thought about my slight predicament all day and i have come up with a solution. i will give it a lil time and if it still bothers me i will just avoid the situation altogether. she doesnt understand and shes not going to so i am just not going to talk to her about it nemore. i just hope that she understands that whatever happens i can deal with just because we are friends doesnt mean that she should have to make that sacrafice for me i am a big girl i can handle it.well lots of stuff running through my head i'm having kind of a had time seperating things so i am just going to stop now.