Should be doing homework...
I am supposed to be writing an essay right now, but don't really feel like it. Had a hard time sleeping last night and now I feel really tired, but stir-crazy...maybe I should go for a run.
I feel myself slipping into that cold place of sadness again, wishing for something to happen when I know it isn't time yet. But crying won't do me any good. Indeed, I feel I have cried all my tears and have no more left. Why can't a person just feel the pain the moment it happens and be done with it? Why does pain have to linger like this? *sigh* This is what I get for thinking about memories. This time last year, we were so naive, thinking we were ######. And we were so happy in our times together. And I realize our happiness came from a mutual focus on the Lord and only the Lord.
And now, I want things to change....to go back to the way they were, or better. But I know it isn't time yet. I know it can't happen...that it isn't His will for it to happen.
Jesus,
take my restless heart and mould it into your likeness. Make me the woman of righteousness that you see when you look at me.
waiting,
me