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[lostnomore]

Ok its my turn to bitch, I think I am entitled. The only reason I did not tell you Emily that Manna was coming is because I knew it would start things. I didn't tell Manna either, she just found out by chance... Because I thought if neither knew it gave neither the oppertunity to leave. I didn't mean to hurt you by that... I just hoped that by

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you don't understand

[aikima]

you don't understand how i felt friday when u told me she was coming. sure, i understand how u thought that i wouldn't have gone if i had known about it earlier, but you have to consider MY feelings, too. it bothers me so much this whole thing. listen, i WAS considering you that night. tha'ts why i decided to go. don't give me the whole speech about "u gotta deal with ppl you hate in life" pk, I DO know this saying. i know all about it, believe me. but i HATE how everyone is getting into this buisiness between me and manna. sure, i was wrong in not telling her (but she wasn't the ONLY one) that me and james decided to go back out, but that gave her NO right to come over to my house and start YELLING at me for it and telling me to choose between him or her. I'm sorry, but friends do NOT do that to each other. i think it's a bit childish. and her and i dind't go to enemies in one day. there was a lot more to it than that. basically it started on the band trip at medieval times. i wish you'd understand that. everyone gripes that I don't try to talk to manna and that I"M not civil to her but have u looked at it the other way around??? HAs she EVER tried to talk to me since then? i think not. stop looking at it one way, tha'ts what upsets me the most. i'm sorry i made you cry but you weren't exactly considering my feelings either. i wasn't rejecting you and i did talk for a bit at your sleepover but the thing is, i was VERY tired that night and VERY uncomfortable. but i figured i'd still go cause i wanted to consider YOU and it was your b-day thing and all.It;s not ALL MY fault that everyone is fighting with each other. y'all reallyy make it seem like it is. and i'm getting pretty tired of ppl talking bad about james, saying that he's stupid and retarded. ok, if ya'll are going to say crap like that, don't do it around me. he's one of my VERY best friends( just like kayla) an i'm tired of hearing rude things said about him. either do it to his face or not around me me. i'm tired of it. I don't know why debuskey and eva suddenlt seem to hat em now. I haven't been asked to sign either of y'all's yearbooks yet. do you know how bad i feel??? it makes me upset cause i got ya'll to sign mine. i'm tried of everyone acting like they hate me and james. i don't see how manna was thinking of me in any way. that's how i see it from the way she's acted/been acting. i'm trying to move on, but if everyone is going to act like they hate us, then there's a problem and i really don't care that you're friends with manna. hell, even my own sister seems to see manna as her sister now instead of me. i have to deal with that EVERYDAY. i even tried to encourage u to be freinds with her, remember? and about the whole opinions deal. I DO have my own opinions and when i listen to everyone else's, i justify my agreement with my own words, ok? i don't agree with what everyone says all the time. i make my own opinions,too. stop assuming that i don't. and we weren't rejecting you for our own wellbeing. that's very selfish of u to say that. we had u in our minds the WHOLE time or we wouldn't have come in the first place. we considered u in all our decisions. i wish you'd understand that. anyways, i gotta go. i hope u understand what i'm saying.