Life is Sooo Compicated!!!
Okay, so this is obviously my first post. I start the new school semester in 4 hours and have yet to sleep. I just couldn't seem to find the motivation to sleep even though I absolutely need it. I have been sitting here at the computer doing all of nothing for over two hours already, and I am starting to freak out on this semesters work already. I think I overloaded myself this time for sure, especially with work and trying to keep my house, and trying to keep my life from falling apart... AGAIN. I can not seem to find a new job that will help make things a little easier on me stress wise and money wise, but I guess that is how the cookie crumbles. But on an even crappier note, I feel like I am completely alone. Yes I have a few friends that I never see, and rarely get to talk to via txt or FB. And yes my bf lives with me, but he is so stuck on his runescape (blah), and is so niave that he never notices that I am not doing so great mentally wise. Since the holidays started to approach in late November I have been slowly but surely slipping into a void of depression, and a whirlwind of what to do's with my life. I just feel that life is going to get the best of me, and I already told myself when I got this house, went back to school, and stuff that this was my last attempt at making it in life, and I am truely starting to think that life is just a crock of shit. I have too many options flowing my way that I do not know which ones to take and which to leave behind. I have recently thought about just leaving them all behind and making my own, but that is a whole lot harder than it sounds. I just feel alone, and could definitely use some good friends right about now. But as life is looking to me at the moment that will never happen. Everyone is always too busy for me, yet I always drop everything to jump and help them when they need it. ButI guess I should be used to that as well, since I have always been everyones doormat since I can remember. But I guess I have spent enough time drudging on about the things that are upsetting me, so I will get off here. I will post again soon, assuming anyone cares lol.