Lost and scared with nowhere to run...

[lostnmaybe]

Day two of not being in my house was quite rough, and fear it is only going to get worse.  I stayed up all night so I wouldn't miss class this morning.  I throughly enjoyed my classes, all up untill the last one.  Then I spent most of it trying my best not to let my face hit the table.  I didn't even know if I would make it back from school without falling alseep in my car.  But I did, and then it got worse.  It is kind of chilly in his families house, we have no blankets of our own here or bed.  So, I ended up in the living roon for at least four more hours trying to keep myself entertained on the computer, untill I finally passed out in the chair.  But, that was a horrible idea, becasue three hours or so later I awoke to horrible aching pains in my back and knees.  So, worse seems to be getting more horrible by the second in my pathetic life.
Why do I have to be such a fuck up? 
Why can't I just get shit straight?
Why can't I just be happy?
Why do I always end up in situations like this?
I am fed up with life...
I am done fighting....
No more caring for me, no way...
I am just going to spend my time working on school and going to work and living in a blur of deliberate blind dumbness and numbness for a very long while...
I just need a break...