wondering where I went wrong

[lostnhurt]

I just sit and think about how fucked up everything had been this year...seems like everything has come crashing down for me...lost my best friend since I was 9, lost my other best friend, lost half my family..they don't even want to look at me when they pass me on the road or in a store they like get scared or something and try to look elsewhere. I lost alot of people I loved, I forgot how it feels to b in love..how it feels to have someone love u and want to spend every waking moment with u.I lost my cell phone, and wont ever get it back even though promised I would never did. I lost my car, therefore my life has been kinnda dead and I get stranded and fuckn alot of shit goes bad. I find myself wishing I wishing I would have just decided not to have worn my seatbelt that day instead of the time before. Then maybe I'd flown through the windshield and died or something. I just don't understand wat it is I have done thats so bad god has to hate me this much. I feel like I've lost everything. Like sometimes I don't even know who I am. I dunno I am sorry everyone for anything I've done that upset u or pissed u off...I wish there was some way to just make things better and put all the bad to rest and just everyone b happy again. Why does life have to always be shitty? Why can't things just be awesome and go out and have fun and laugh and not have to worry about what everyone else is thinking or doing or whos gonna get introuble or who went to jail or w/e its just fuckn bullshit.
Well kids I am sorry bout the rambling depressive shit..I'm just kinnda in a fucked up mood. I love u guys Becca ur my girl I dunno what'd I'd do without u. Michael lee I love u ur my boy, without u I'd b the bigest nervous reck ever! ur my hero! I just wish u could not have to worry bout bitches toying with ur heart, or atleast I wish I didnt have to worry bout it b/c I hate seeing u hurt and I would hate to have to beat a bitches ass for breaking ur heart again. well I am out kids leave some love if u still love me other wise its straight I understand lol peace