It all started with a car crash
Okay, so maybe it started sooner but the car crash was the catalyst to Tiger's PR nightmare! Since he is getting hit (or doing the "hitting that") I have decided to jump into the bandwagon. You read correctly! I am declaring myself Tiger's Lover #19 (because at this point I've lost track of how many are claiming to be his lover... am I right or am I right?).
"I think Elin and I have avoided a lot of media attention because we're kind of boring. When we do go out, we like to go to the movies. When we go for dinner, it's usually at the same restaurants. Sometimes, friends will come over, and we'll play video games." - Tiger Woods
Well Tiger sign me up, I want your boring lifestyle. I'll marry your kinky self and you can do whomever you want just as long as I get to live the life and have my own fun on the side. Hell! I'll give him a discount I'll sign a pre-nup for 15 million! See... I'm not selfish. He gets the best of both worlds and I'll always stand by his side. To live in the life of luxury? Why not!
I'm not hating on Tiger... in fact... I'm proud that he isn't perfect. And C'mon... the wife ALWAYS KNOWS! I'm not saying that the sacrament of marriage doesn't mean a thing to me... I clearly aspire to it still. I believe that a marriage can succeed as long as there is communication, trust, and a serious commitment to working things out. Of course love is important (the best marriages in my opinion but sometimes love is just not enough). There is no such thing as a perfect marriage but we can all strive for perfection, learn from the bad, improve the good and be honest about your sexual needs (Tiger, you know better). But I digress, I feel bad for Elin cause she is stuck in a catch 22. Should she stay married and have the world judge her for not having good morals, get Tiger from the nads and have the world judge her for being money hungry. No matter what…she looses… hell… she might even LOVE the guy. But I say, she knew… she has always known and was willing to stay married to him and force him into a sham marriage keeping them BOTH miserable.
Tiger… I never knew you had it in you. Sign me up for the sham marriage… people marry for different reasons, some out of money, others loneliness, others power, some out of love, kids…. Why the hell not? And the best thing is that Tiger seems to love ALL the ladies… not matter their age or size. I can live with that! The funny thing is… I just cannot seem to give a damn about Tiger (he is young and will continue to make millions) and I don’t really care about his wife Elin (I finally know your name)… but had this been President Obama then I’d go all Latina on his ass. I hold President Obama on a different level and I got to stick with my girl Michelle Obama.
So this is my petition Tiger… I’m loyal! I’m offering a discount (15 million as oppose to 20), I’ll look away when you have your flings and help cover your but when you get caught (the world is watching you closer now so you are bound to fuck up… you are weak like that), I’ll even give you kids (most guys want heirs).
This is Christina and I’m mistress #19!
"I think Elin and I have avoided a lot of media attention because we're kind of boring. When we do go out, we like to go to the movies. When we go for dinner, it's usually at the same restaurants. Sometimes, friends will come over, and we'll play video games." - Tiger Woods
Well Tiger sign me up, I want your boring lifestyle. I'll marry your kinky self and you can do whomever you want just as long as I get to live the life and have my own fun on the side. Hell! I'll give him a discount I'll sign a pre-nup for 15 million! See... I'm not selfish. He gets the best of both worlds and I'll always stand by his side. To live in the life of luxury? Why not!
I'm not hating on Tiger... in fact... I'm proud that he isn't perfect. And C'mon... the wife ALWAYS KNOWS! I'm not saying that the sacrament of marriage doesn't mean a thing to me... I clearly aspire to it still. I believe that a marriage can succeed as long as there is communication, trust, and a serious commitment to working things out. Of course love is important (the best marriages in my opinion but sometimes love is just not enough). There is no such thing as a perfect marriage but we can all strive for perfection, learn from the bad, improve the good and be honest about your sexual needs (Tiger, you know better). But I digress, I feel bad for Elin cause she is stuck in a catch 22. Should she stay married and have the world judge her for not having good morals, get Tiger from the nads and have the world judge her for being money hungry. No matter what…she looses… hell… she might even LOVE the guy. But I say, she knew… she has always known and was willing to stay married to him and force him into a sham marriage keeping them BOTH miserable.
Tiger… I never knew you had it in you. Sign me up for the sham marriage… people marry for different reasons, some out of money, others loneliness, others power, some out of love, kids…. Why the hell not? And the best thing is that Tiger seems to love ALL the ladies… not matter their age or size. I can live with that! The funny thing is… I just cannot seem to give a damn about Tiger (he is young and will continue to make millions) and I don’t really care about his wife Elin (I finally know your name)… but had this been President Obama then I’d go all Latina on his ass. I hold President Obama on a different level and I got to stick with my girl Michelle Obama.
So this is my petition Tiger… I’m loyal! I’m offering a discount (15 million as oppose to 20), I’ll look away when you have your flings and help cover your but when you get caught (the world is watching you closer now so you are bound to fuck up… you are weak like that), I’ll even give you kids (most guys want heirs).
This is Christina and I’m mistress #19!