(no subject)
Well..so another entry in one night:-/...I guess I realized I have more to say.
I want you to know. I NEVER lied. I was never about lines and fake feelings. Everything I said was true, even if everything you said was a lie. It almost makes me laugh..the stupid "somedays" and the "I wouldn't lie". bullshit. I know it, and so do you. I just wish that just ONCE you’d have the balls to tell me how you REALLY feel. If youd have told me I wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Honestly, considering I already had in mind what you felt and what you were doing, I would have been okay with it. But you couldn’t make it that easy. I just don’t understand WHY. I mean, why me? I never did anything to you so why did you deliberately watch me I screw people over? And HOW could you do it so easily and not feel anything for it? Not even just me, because there are more people then me, I know, I’m not stupid. But I just don’t get how its so easy for you..it’s like your job..it comes so naturally. I feel bad for you in a way because I know someday it’s going to come back to you. I can honestly say you don’t deserve it. No one does…no one deserves to be used and lied to. I acted as a lesser person then myself. But its not all your fault, I’m not blaming you. Its my fault for falling for it all. I’m just another one of those stupid girls.
I did this entry for me. Not for anyone else. I needed to get that out. I’m happy now. I’m going to try to be the person I want to be. I hope that I’m stronger now. So, in a way, thank you. If I had the opportunity to go back and change everything, I’d turn it down. I don’t think I would change anything if it came down to it. Shit happens, and it happens for a reason. I don’t know if I believe in regrets..mistakes yes…but regrets..maybe not. Nothing would be the same now if I had done things differently. And right now, I’m happy.
That’s all for now.
“..And I’m nothing more then a line in your book..”
“I said I hate you, but I’d never change a thing”
“…The only thing you’ll get, is this curse on your lips:..I hope they taste of me..forever”
*like i said it isn't for anyone just something i needed to get off my chest**
love yaz
Jessica
I want you to know. I NEVER lied. I was never about lines and fake feelings. Everything I said was true, even if everything you said was a lie. It almost makes me laugh..the stupid "somedays" and the "I wouldn't lie". bullshit. I know it, and so do you. I just wish that just ONCE you’d have the balls to tell me how you REALLY feel. If youd have told me I wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Honestly, considering I already had in mind what you felt and what you were doing, I would have been okay with it. But you couldn’t make it that easy. I just don’t understand WHY. I mean, why me? I never did anything to you so why did you deliberately watch me I screw people over? And HOW could you do it so easily and not feel anything for it? Not even just me, because there are more people then me, I know, I’m not stupid. But I just don’t get how its so easy for you..it’s like your job..it comes so naturally. I feel bad for you in a way because I know someday it’s going to come back to you. I can honestly say you don’t deserve it. No one does…no one deserves to be used and lied to. I acted as a lesser person then myself. But its not all your fault, I’m not blaming you. Its my fault for falling for it all. I’m just another one of those stupid girls.
I did this entry for me. Not for anyone else. I needed to get that out. I’m happy now. I’m going to try to be the person I want to be. I hope that I’m stronger now. So, in a way, thank you. If I had the opportunity to go back and change everything, I’d turn it down. I don’t think I would change anything if it came down to it. Shit happens, and it happens for a reason. I don’t know if I believe in regrets..mistakes yes…but regrets..maybe not. Nothing would be the same now if I had done things differently. And right now, I’m happy.
That’s all for now.
“..And I’m nothing more then a line in your book..”
“I said I hate you, but I’d never change a thing”
“…The only thing you’ll get, is this curse on your lips:..I hope they taste of me..forever”
*like i said it isn't for anyone just something i needed to get off my chest**
love yaz
Jessica