(no subject)
ok so this whole high school ending soon thing comes with mixed emotions. while there's a part of me that is so ready to get out there, live on my own (cause i basically already do) and work at a REAL job and live in the city, there's another part that's like wait, wait hold on, i don't think i stopped long enough to enjoy this part.
idk the play's over which is a huge relief, i didn't cry because frankly seeing other people cry weirds me out. idk. it just does. and crying on a stage doesn't seem like a hugely wonderful idea either so i just didn't. yes yes, everyone thinks i'm insensitive, or maybe i'm just not super-sensitive? anyway. so now mock trial competition starts but before i know it that will be over too. and what's left? prom? and graduation? and then this summer i have a feeling is just going to make me sick.
can't deal with thinking of people leaving. i just can't picture what it's going to be like to say goodbye to everyone. yea yea we'll come home for breaks and have no one better to hang out with (jk jk) but it will never be the same. idk. our "group" that started out as like 25 people has kind of gone away. idk if i'm really too upset about that but i just feel really isolated from everything lately. i feel like i'm watching life happen rather than live it. everything is kind of tainted with this voice in the back of my head saying "it isn't going to be like this ever again."
how depressing, i know. well i updated. doubt anyone reads this anymore but i felt like typing. took a break from reviewing every book that has a usable theme for freaking english. i want to go snowboarding. i want to sit down for hours and read. i want to watch movies. i want to go outside and swim. i just want to do things that there isn't time to do anymore.
anyway enough rambling. i'm out.
idk the play's over which is a huge relief, i didn't cry because frankly seeing other people cry weirds me out. idk. it just does. and crying on a stage doesn't seem like a hugely wonderful idea either so i just didn't. yes yes, everyone thinks i'm insensitive, or maybe i'm just not super-sensitive? anyway. so now mock trial competition starts but before i know it that will be over too. and what's left? prom? and graduation? and then this summer i have a feeling is just going to make me sick.
can't deal with thinking of people leaving. i just can't picture what it's going to be like to say goodbye to everyone. yea yea we'll come home for breaks and have no one better to hang out with (jk jk) but it will never be the same. idk. our "group" that started out as like 25 people has kind of gone away. idk if i'm really too upset about that but i just feel really isolated from everything lately. i feel like i'm watching life happen rather than live it. everything is kind of tainted with this voice in the back of my head saying "it isn't going to be like this ever again."
how depressing, i know. well i updated. doubt anyone reads this anymore but i felt like typing. took a break from reviewing every book that has a usable theme for freaking english. i want to go snowboarding. i want to sit down for hours and read. i want to watch movies. i want to go outside and swim. i just want to do things that there isn't time to do anymore.
anyway enough rambling. i'm out.