I carry your image always in my head, folded and yellowed and torn at the edge
This past week has been not good. I've been sick since tuesday, but its really weird. I'll have a fever and then the next day it will be gone. The same thing happens with my soreness and faitgue. I went to the nurse and she told me it was a virus so she can't give me anything and that it should only last two days, but ti hasn't gone away. I feel fine now and I hope to God it stays that way because I really don't think that there are many things worse in college than being sick.
I have a lot of not hard work that feels like it is piling up and I cannot stay focused when I'm doing work. I hate my lack of self control in this department but I'm not sure what i can do except keep attempting to start early, which sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. I cannot wait to go home. I miss it so much. I think it was katie's birthday and calling her on her birthday that mad my sadness even more acute. I just miss my family and friends so much and being here and sick makes it worse.
I went with my friend Melody to her home in northern Arkansas this weekend, which I think was good for me. They were wonderful, but some of the time I felt awkward because I kept forgetting not to eat before grace and not to say "oh my god" because they are religious and I ended up feeling guilty a lot of the time. I dislike that lovejournal has become my outlet to complain but I have nowhere else to v oice my frustrations with myself without being over-analyzed.