Thinking it through i hope
“The stars will cry the blackest tearz tonight”. . . Dreaming of each of them. . .
That is what I did last night. I spent the entire time I was at the fireworks wishing to be with just one of them. Any one of them. I couldn’t get then off of my mind. I keep wondering what if. I am so very scared though. I keep thinking this is looking like last summer. When I began to like so many and I lost the one that I truly loved to someone else. This is all so familiar yet so different. I want everyone to be happy in this. I also feel I should start my apologies now. I am sorry for anyone who gets hurt in this time I which I am trying to decide my who is truly my hearts desire. Well I try to decide who to be with. I do want someone I can make many memories to look back on. Just as my last summer. So far this summer though I have no remarkable things to remember it by. I spent that time at the fireworks thinking about them. I don’t want to hurt ne one. I want all of them to know just because I pick one person doesn’t mean it will last forever. I don’t want to say anything and through around words that will truly hurt u later. I won’t tell ne of you I love you unless I know I do. I hope that I do give all of you the happiness you do deserve. I must sound so horridly vain right now and full of myself. I just hate pain I hate drama and I can’t live with heartbreak. No matter what though I can honestly say I care about each of you and I am hear for you no matter what. If I don’t pick you first doesn’t mean You will never get your chance it might even just mean I am saving the best for last. I am said to do that. I know with time though for each person my heart grows bigger and I love more and more for each person. I have never stopped loving or caring I should say for anyone. I have thought so much about all this. I still don’t know what to do about my heart being torn to pick to choose. I know I want to be with someone cause I learned last summer when there are this many people everyone gets hurt when you just stay single. I am hoping though that things will all work out wonderfully and I can make as many people as possible happy. I am most concerned about Missa I don’t want to hurt her. I have been crushing on her. See the thing is though I have committing problems and the reason I don’t girls as much as guys is cause I know if I am with a girl life will be to good and it has a better chance of lasting forever. I just have always cared about her. I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t know how to stop from doing that and making so many others happy at the same time. I feel Missa I should let you know stay with Jon I know you care about him as well. That is the best I can say. My feelings for you aren’t going away ne time soon so lets just relax lets become better of friends first. I want to be here for you as long as I can. I don’t want us to end up like you and Adamn seem to be not soon not ever. I have also learned friendships work out better for me I mean as in turning into relationships. Missy and I are still dating and I still care about her. Also Justin and I had something so special sure we never really dated but still if you look back on what him and I had that is what everyone should want. I think it has been what I have been looking for all this time. So I will sit here and Pray for the best to come of this blessing of love that has been thrown my way. I stil and Pray for no hearts to be broken. I Pray that I get truer friends out of this. I pray I can be here for so many of you as your shoulder to cry on. I pray I don’t fuck this one up like I did last. I pray that my time is carful taken care of. I pray that I can handle the pain. I pray that no one else has to suffer. I pray that you all are happy oneday. I pray that I share a moment I will never forget with each of you that I care about. I pray that all my prays come true for the best of all. I pray. . . I pray. . . I pray. . .
*sighs* *kisses* *tearz* *dreamz* of happiness and blissful moments with each of you. . . .
That is what I did last night. I spent the entire time I was at the fireworks wishing to be with just one of them. Any one of them. I couldn’t get then off of my mind. I keep wondering what if. I am so very scared though. I keep thinking this is looking like last summer. When I began to like so many and I lost the one that I truly loved to someone else. This is all so familiar yet so different. I want everyone to be happy in this. I also feel I should start my apologies now. I am sorry for anyone who gets hurt in this time I which I am trying to decide my who is truly my hearts desire. Well I try to decide who to be with. I do want someone I can make many memories to look back on. Just as my last summer. So far this summer though I have no remarkable things to remember it by. I spent that time at the fireworks thinking about them. I don’t want to hurt ne one. I want all of them to know just because I pick one person doesn’t mean it will last forever. I don’t want to say anything and through around words that will truly hurt u later. I won’t tell ne of you I love you unless I know I do. I hope that I do give all of you the happiness you do deserve. I must sound so horridly vain right now and full of myself. I just hate pain I hate drama and I can’t live with heartbreak. No matter what though I can honestly say I care about each of you and I am hear for you no matter what. If I don’t pick you first doesn’t mean You will never get your chance it might even just mean I am saving the best for last. I am said to do that. I know with time though for each person my heart grows bigger and I love more and more for each person. I have never stopped loving or caring I should say for anyone. I have thought so much about all this. I still don’t know what to do about my heart being torn to pick to choose. I know I want to be with someone cause I learned last summer when there are this many people everyone gets hurt when you just stay single. I am hoping though that things will all work out wonderfully and I can make as many people as possible happy. I am most concerned about Missa I don’t want to hurt her. I have been crushing on her. See the thing is though I have committing problems and the reason I don’t girls as much as guys is cause I know if I am with a girl life will be to good and it has a better chance of lasting forever. I just have always cared about her. I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t know how to stop from doing that and making so many others happy at the same time. I feel Missa I should let you know stay with Jon I know you care about him as well. That is the best I can say. My feelings for you aren’t going away ne time soon so lets just relax lets become better of friends first. I want to be here for you as long as I can. I don’t want us to end up like you and Adamn seem to be not soon not ever. I have also learned friendships work out better for me I mean as in turning into relationships. Missy and I are still dating and I still care about her. Also Justin and I had something so special sure we never really dated but still if you look back on what him and I had that is what everyone should want. I think it has been what I have been looking for all this time. So I will sit here and Pray for the best to come of this blessing of love that has been thrown my way. I stil and Pray for no hearts to be broken. I Pray that I get truer friends out of this. I pray I can be here for so many of you as your shoulder to cry on. I pray I don’t fuck this one up like I did last. I pray that my time is carful taken care of. I pray that I can handle the pain. I pray that no one else has to suffer. I pray that you all are happy oneday. I pray that I share a moment I will never forget with each of you that I care about. I pray that all my prays come true for the best of all. I pray. . . I pray. . . I pray. . .
*sighs* *kisses* *tearz* *dreamz* of happiness and blissful moments with each of you. . . .