(no subject)
Goodbyes.....
My heart aches so much. Saying good byes... hurt, so much. It's like.....
I know that the goodbyes I say wont' be forever. I know I'll see these people again. But I hurt so much..... My chest has been hurting all day, and between times of happiness, I've been dejected and so.... pained, and melancholy.
It seems like only yesterday... I was chasing a friend down the hills of Royal Oak Intermediate School, yelling at him.
It seems like only yesterday, I was carrying around a waaaay-too-heavy backpack.....
It seems like only yesterday my mother was yelling at me, telling me that if I didn't study, I'd be a failure....
It seems like only yesterday, I was RPing everynight; yesterday that I was Blizzard Icewind Iv'rypaw, part of the huge, well-known, dominating Iv'rypaw Mercenary Clan....
It seems like only yesterday that I became a high schooler.... making new memories, realizing that... whoa. My grades count from now on for college.
It seems like only yesterday that I had friend problems.... and decided that I wouldn't care about boys for as long as I lived.
It seems like only yesterday Mr. Guggino helped me through my problems, no matter how immature and childish they were.
It seems like only yesterday that Emily and I started talking.... First about our similarities, then hanging out wherever we went.
It seems like only yesterday I met Haku, Daron, Pheobe, and eventually, Steph Chen... and befriended them.
It seems like only yesterday.... I was a senior, filling out applications and stressing out about Northwestern's HPME application....
It seems like only yesterday.... I received my application Acceptance letters for BAC/MD and Harvard U.. on the day of Sadies, making it the best dance I ever went to in high school.
It seems like only yesterday.... carryll's dad was calling on a daily basis, and telling my mom that I probalby didn't get accepted to any colleges b/c the acceptance letters hadn't arrived yet.
It seems like only yesterday, I received my acceptance letter to Northwestern's HPME....
It seems like only yesterday, graduation happened, and I gave my speech.
It seems like only yesterday, I was preparing to go to AX, working on costumes, making Haku's mother stay up late....
It seems like only yesterday, I went to AX, and slept in one room with almost ten people.....
It seems like only yesterday, I met the Ramentards....
It seems like only yesterday, I met......
It seems like only yesterday that.... the most unexpected thing happened in my life.....
It seems like only yesterday, college was so far away, I wasn't upset, nor sad.....
But it isn't yesterday anymore...
It's today.....
And college... I'm going to be AT college in four days.....
When did time fly by so much?
Where did my time with friends go....?
Why do I have to say so many goodbyes.....?
Why does everything have to change... so.... much.....
I know it's not the end, and that memories are in my mind, and that new memories are made between college and after....
But right now, I still hurt.
My heart aches so much. Saying good byes... hurt, so much. It's like.....
I know that the goodbyes I say wont' be forever. I know I'll see these people again. But I hurt so much..... My chest has been hurting all day, and between times of happiness, I've been dejected and so.... pained, and melancholy.
It seems like only yesterday... I was chasing a friend down the hills of Royal Oak Intermediate School, yelling at him.
It seems like only yesterday, I was carrying around a waaaay-too-heavy backpack.....
It seems like only yesterday my mother was yelling at me, telling me that if I didn't study, I'd be a failure....
It seems like only yesterday, I was RPing everynight; yesterday that I was Blizzard Icewind Iv'rypaw, part of the huge, well-known, dominating Iv'rypaw Mercenary Clan....
It seems like only yesterday that I became a high schooler.... making new memories, realizing that... whoa. My grades count from now on for college.
It seems like only yesterday that I had friend problems.... and decided that I wouldn't care about boys for as long as I lived.
It seems like only yesterday Mr. Guggino helped me through my problems, no matter how immature and childish they were.
It seems like only yesterday that Emily and I started talking.... First about our similarities, then hanging out wherever we went.
It seems like only yesterday I met Haku, Daron, Pheobe, and eventually, Steph Chen... and befriended them.
It seems like only yesterday.... I was a senior, filling out applications and stressing out about Northwestern's HPME application....
It seems like only yesterday.... I received my application Acceptance letters for BAC/MD and Harvard U.. on the day of Sadies, making it the best dance I ever went to in high school.
It seems like only yesterday.... carryll's dad was calling on a daily basis, and telling my mom that I probalby didn't get accepted to any colleges b/c the acceptance letters hadn't arrived yet.
It seems like only yesterday, I received my acceptance letter to Northwestern's HPME....
It seems like only yesterday, graduation happened, and I gave my speech.
It seems like only yesterday, I was preparing to go to AX, working on costumes, making Haku's mother stay up late....
It seems like only yesterday, I went to AX, and slept in one room with almost ten people.....
It seems like only yesterday, I met the Ramentards....
It seems like only yesterday, I met......
It seems like only yesterday that.... the most unexpected thing happened in my life.....
It seems like only yesterday, college was so far away, I wasn't upset, nor sad.....
But it isn't yesterday anymore...
It's today.....
And college... I'm going to be AT college in four days.....
When did time fly by so much?
Where did my time with friends go....?
Why do I have to say so many goodbyes.....?
Why does everything have to change... so.... much.....
I know it's not the end, and that memories are in my mind, and that new memories are made between college and after....
But right now, I still hurt.