today.....
i don't understand how some people can be so disrespectful and care so little...
maybe its just me.... maybe i care too much... and i know that ppl have different ways of dealing with things... bc i know that i needed to get away.. i couldnt handle it up there...
so after talking on the phone with my mother... and crying a lil... i went out for a walk.. i ended up at Starbucks and got a latte and just sat there for a good 45 mins... and started to cry agian.... the walk there was refreshing... and starbucks usually makes me feel better... then i stopped for gummy worms and headed back...but the walk back was painful.... the closer i got to school, the harder it was. Every step was harder to take...every breath was harder to breathe... my hands were so cold that they were numb...but i couldnt feel it until i tried to get my keys out of my purse.... i felt so weak while i was walking.... and i really felt numb...and helpless...and had the chills...
this is the second friend ive lost in 6 months...this is just too much... 18 years olds arent suppose to die.....
what i really need right now is someone to just give me a hug...not mind that it will last at least 10 mins...and just hold me and let me cry.... i need that security right now... but all i have is stuffed animals...and i know they mean well... but its just not the same...
maybe its just me.... maybe i care too much... and i know that ppl have different ways of dealing with things... bc i know that i needed to get away.. i couldnt handle it up there...
so after talking on the phone with my mother... and crying a lil... i went out for a walk.. i ended up at Starbucks and got a latte and just sat there for a good 45 mins... and started to cry agian.... the walk there was refreshing... and starbucks usually makes me feel better... then i stopped for gummy worms and headed back...but the walk back was painful.... the closer i got to school, the harder it was. Every step was harder to take...every breath was harder to breathe... my hands were so cold that they were numb...but i couldnt feel it until i tried to get my keys out of my purse.... i felt so weak while i was walking.... and i really felt numb...and helpless...and had the chills...
this is the second friend ive lost in 6 months...this is just too much... 18 years olds arent suppose to die.....
what i really need right now is someone to just give me a hug...not mind that it will last at least 10 mins...and just hold me and let me cry.... i need that security right now... but all i have is stuffed animals...and i know they mean well... but its just not the same...