Another Funeral... and More
I'm sitting at work right now waiting for my grandmother to pick me up to drive to Dumas. We'll be on our way to another funeral. My Aunt Gladis passed away Saturday. She wasn't really my aunt... more like a 3rd or 4th cousin, but she was a lot older so I called her Aunt Gladys. She was my great-grandmother's 1st cousin. I didn't really know her that well... just from all the family reunions I'd been to. We always had to stop and eat lunch in Abilene with her, my Aunt Verlyne, and my Aunt Monnell. There were always a lot of fun.
She had had hip surgery a couple of months ago and I thought that everything was going fine. I thought it was hillarious. She was 102 years old and they were checking her bone density... she had the bone density of a 60-year-old. LOL. She was 102 and going strong. Atleast she lived a full life.
My therapist is starting to push more and more for me to get on anti-depressants. I really don't know if I want to. I don't want to have to need them for the rest of my life. I found out that my grandfather is manic depressive and won't admit it. And my cousin Jason is too. Apparently it's something that's inherited. That might explain my problem.
I'm having trouble making friends. I just get really nervous when I'm around people I don't know. I start hyperventallating a little bit and sweating. I try to do breathing exercises and relax, but it just doesn't work. I haven't had any visitors since Alicia and Kellan came in June. I wish more people would make an effort to come and see me. I know that we all have been really busy, me included. I just feel like I'm getting stuck in a pattern of being alone. I have David, I have my grandparents, and I have a family that I really would rather not talk to right now.
I'm not trying to throw a pitty party... just talk about what's going on.
I'm glad David got his job at Amarillo Computers. He seems a lot happier now. He's making a hell of a lot more than I do, and doesn't have to put up with a ceniel old person. : }~ I love my grandma, but she's loosing it. Slowly.
In my creative writing class, I wrote my first short-story since I was in elementary school. I was pretty happy. It was crap, but hey... I got through it. They ripped it to pieces during class... of course... but I was expecting that.
She had had hip surgery a couple of months ago and I thought that everything was going fine. I thought it was hillarious. She was 102 years old and they were checking her bone density... she had the bone density of a 60-year-old. LOL. She was 102 and going strong. Atleast she lived a full life.
My therapist is starting to push more and more for me to get on anti-depressants. I really don't know if I want to. I don't want to have to need them for the rest of my life. I found out that my grandfather is manic depressive and won't admit it. And my cousin Jason is too. Apparently it's something that's inherited. That might explain my problem.
I'm having trouble making friends. I just get really nervous when I'm around people I don't know. I start hyperventallating a little bit and sweating. I try to do breathing exercises and relax, but it just doesn't work. I haven't had any visitors since Alicia and Kellan came in June. I wish more people would make an effort to come and see me. I know that we all have been really busy, me included. I just feel like I'm getting stuck in a pattern of being alone. I have David, I have my grandparents, and I have a family that I really would rather not talk to right now.
I'm not trying to throw a pitty party... just talk about what's going on.
I'm glad David got his job at Amarillo Computers. He seems a lot happier now. He's making a hell of a lot more than I do, and doesn't have to put up with a ceniel old person. : }~ I love my grandma, but she's loosing it. Slowly.
In my creative writing class, I wrote my first short-story since I was in elementary school. I was pretty happy. It was crap, but hey... I got through it. They ripped it to pieces during class... of course... but I was expecting that.