I should fall in love today. (NOT!)
Some "ID Witheld" person called my cell phone at 10:30 last night, but it was down the hall from my bedroom, where I was - sleeping.
I'm reading that book I borrowed from Claire, The Lovely Bones. I love it because it's so sad and full of emotion.
Oh! I was sort of watching Adaptation last night since it was on some movie channel, and the woman talked about her desire to feel passionately about something and I understood. I want to feel passionately about something. I think part of the reason I don't is because I hate giving my entire self to anything, and I hate it because I'm scared of it. It's just so, so - risky. And the orchid thief in the movie would move on from one love to the next, seemingly effortlessly and I want that, too. I want to love something entirely, care about it passionately, but simply move on when the time comes and do it again.
Greg's coming home today. Greg is my brother; I share the middle with him. Except he's six years older than me and absolutely nothing like me. I suppose we're both more independent from our families than Nick (my oldest brother) and Lisa (my little sister), but we have nothing in common except this natural bond from growing up together under mostly the same circumstances. And I really don't want anyone to come over while he's here because he's so judgmental. So am I, but fuck, he might like, make some mean comment to my friend. And I can't really picture that, especially because I'm no longer, and therefore my friends aren't either, a little girl.
I should get over all of this. Especially because I really like this outfit and I have messy hair and haven't showered yet today...
I'm reading that book I borrowed from Claire, The Lovely Bones. I love it because it's so sad and full of emotion.
Oh! I was sort of watching Adaptation last night since it was on some movie channel, and the woman talked about her desire to feel passionately about something and I understood. I want to feel passionately about something. I think part of the reason I don't is because I hate giving my entire self to anything, and I hate it because I'm scared of it. It's just so, so - risky. And the orchid thief in the movie would move on from one love to the next, seemingly effortlessly and I want that, too. I want to love something entirely, care about it passionately, but simply move on when the time comes and do it again.
Greg's coming home today. Greg is my brother; I share the middle with him. Except he's six years older than me and absolutely nothing like me. I suppose we're both more independent from our families than Nick (my oldest brother) and Lisa (my little sister), but we have nothing in common except this natural bond from growing up together under mostly the same circumstances. And I really don't want anyone to come over while he's here because he's so judgmental. So am I, but fuck, he might like, make some mean comment to my friend. And I can't really picture that, especially because I'm no longer, and therefore my friends aren't either, a little girl.
I should get over all of this. Especially because I really like this outfit and I have messy hair and haven't showered yet today...