I never took my true heart I never wrote it down
I was afraid of repeating patterns, and so for months I haven't written in here so I wouldn't have to deal if in fact my life was cycling. The story, which I'm sure most people already know, was basically that I liked a girl who identified as straight. And things between us were really hot and cold as we got closer and closer because, I don't know, its scary to cross all those boundaries. Mainly I didn't feel like writing about how I liked someone who didn't really like me, and all the shit along the way that sent me into emotional drama.
For maybe a month now, we've been dating, acting like a couple and all that. We haven't really defined it though, or talked about it, and I definitely haven't pushed the subject, since Marina was finally willing after so long. We're taking things slowly, courting, for restaurant week this Friday I took her to this French restaurant by the park, because it's her favorite since she lived in France when she was little. She was really happy, and the food was so delicious, so tender, and our old French waiter told us we were a beautiful couple and we should be together for a really long time (I totes gave him a big tip). I don't know, even if things were hot and cold before we got together, it's been really good for what seems like a while now.
Marina is really close with her family, she told her mom about me when I started being her glass TA in March. She asked me to be her TA during her weekly blowtime after I had helped her a little bit during her beginning class in Jan/Feb. I don't think that her mom understands really, and although she doesn't seem to give Marina shit about it, she's not overly supportive. Marina is also reaaaaaaaly close with her grandma who lives an hour away in Riverside. Like they have matching tattoos of elephants. She visits this grandma pretty much every other Sunday.
And because I haven't written about it in months, all that was a fucking lauren story setup for what happened today. This weekend Marina's grandparents came to visit SD, and Marina wanted them to meet me, and then at a later time tell them that we're dating or whatever. Unforch, it seems like Marina's mom put pressure on her to tell them beforehand, and so she did last night at dinner. Apparently it sparked a really long conversation because they didn't understand either, they're traditional and to use Marina's words, "they think people of the same gender shouldn't be together like that." Even if they didn't get it, her grandparents said they loved and accepted her and all that, and then today I went to walk around the farmer's market in Hillcrest with them. They were really nice to me, her grandma told me this really cute story about why she calls Marina precious, and I'd say the day went well because when we went to leave her grandma invited me to come visit her house in Riverside with Marina. Maybe because I was just nodding, she said it twice, the second time really formally, "I invite you to my house." But it was cute and Marina's reaaaaaly conservative and kinda quiet grandpa touched my elbow when we said bye.
When I was getting ready for Friday Vanessa and I went through my closet, and she saw this yellow shirt which she told me to wear today to meet Marina's grandma. When she was tying the bow on the back for me, I remembered and told her the story of the last time I had worn it, I had visited Berkeley with Claire and Le-Mai, right before I went to Costa Rica. S and I had just broken up because her cousins were staying with her and she wasn't ready to tell them. That was the day I met her cousins and pretended to be her friend who just happened to know the small details like where they kept the emergen-c in the second drawer in the apartment. And that day just sucked, us standing close together, poking each other, and once she got out of the car I cried pretty much until we got back to San Francisco. And so I finished telling the story to Vanessa, and I was almost crying again just thinking of how emotional that day had been, and I decided that I had to live in the present in that moment. And so I went to the farmer's market and I talked to Marina's grandparents until they liked me enough to invite me over. I don't really know how to qualify my emotions right now, they're somewhere along the lines of happy and grateful that she isn't ashamed or scared for her family to meet me, and that they liked me and I liked them. I was prettttty stressed about meeting them and I'm just glad that it went well, and I'm not repeating too many patterns at least.
For maybe a month now, we've been dating, acting like a couple and all that. We haven't really defined it though, or talked about it, and I definitely haven't pushed the subject, since Marina was finally willing after so long. We're taking things slowly, courting, for restaurant week this Friday I took her to this French restaurant by the park, because it's her favorite since she lived in France when she was little. She was really happy, and the food was so delicious, so tender, and our old French waiter told us we were a beautiful couple and we should be together for a really long time (I totes gave him a big tip). I don't know, even if things were hot and cold before we got together, it's been really good for what seems like a while now.
Marina is really close with her family, she told her mom about me when I started being her glass TA in March. She asked me to be her TA during her weekly blowtime after I had helped her a little bit during her beginning class in Jan/Feb. I don't think that her mom understands really, and although she doesn't seem to give Marina shit about it, she's not overly supportive. Marina is also reaaaaaaaly close with her grandma who lives an hour away in Riverside. Like they have matching tattoos of elephants. She visits this grandma pretty much every other Sunday.
And because I haven't written about it in months, all that was a fucking lauren story setup for what happened today. This weekend Marina's grandparents came to visit SD, and Marina wanted them to meet me, and then at a later time tell them that we're dating or whatever. Unforch, it seems like Marina's mom put pressure on her to tell them beforehand, and so she did last night at dinner. Apparently it sparked a really long conversation because they didn't understand either, they're traditional and to use Marina's words, "they think people of the same gender shouldn't be together like that." Even if they didn't get it, her grandparents said they loved and accepted her and all that, and then today I went to walk around the farmer's market in Hillcrest with them. They were really nice to me, her grandma told me this really cute story about why she calls Marina precious, and I'd say the day went well because when we went to leave her grandma invited me to come visit her house in Riverside with Marina. Maybe because I was just nodding, she said it twice, the second time really formally, "I invite you to my house." But it was cute and Marina's reaaaaaly conservative and kinda quiet grandpa touched my elbow when we said bye.
When I was getting ready for Friday Vanessa and I went through my closet, and she saw this yellow shirt which she told me to wear today to meet Marina's grandma. When she was tying the bow on the back for me, I remembered and told her the story of the last time I had worn it, I had visited Berkeley with Claire and Le-Mai, right before I went to Costa Rica. S and I had just broken up because her cousins were staying with her and she wasn't ready to tell them. That was the day I met her cousins and pretended to be her friend who just happened to know the small details like where they kept the emergen-c in the second drawer in the apartment. And that day just sucked, us standing close together, poking each other, and once she got out of the car I cried pretty much until we got back to San Francisco. And so I finished telling the story to Vanessa, and I was almost crying again just thinking of how emotional that day had been, and I decided that I had to live in the present in that moment. And so I went to the farmer's market and I talked to Marina's grandparents until they liked me enough to invite me over. I don't really know how to qualify my emotions right now, they're somewhere along the lines of happy and grateful that she isn't ashamed or scared for her family to meet me, and that they liked me and I liked them. I was prettttty stressed about meeting them and I'm just glad that it went well, and I'm not repeating too many patterns at least.