(no subject)
i just want these two weeks to be over with. i need christmas break. the only thing im not looking foward to is the commute to and from work. but i dont mind. rachel at work said shes going to recommmend to sandra (my manager) to make me a crew leader. about time. that would give me a raise, and more hours. so ill suck it everything i need to suck up to get to that point. and even if i just continue that job until the end of this school year, thats better than the 7.50 im getting now with no responsibilities. and there isnt much difference between what i do now and a crew leader. basically ill just need to learn to do drops and count the money. nothing i cant handle already. h&m never got back to me anyways. which isnt much of a big deal becuase it would probably have only been holiday help anyways.
i need to go out and shoot some rolls of film today beucase im really slacking on my assignment thats due on friday. i figured i just wouldnt go home this weekend becuase i could really use the $10.50 i'd spend on the tickets and i could clear my head, get some work done and hang out with some people ive been meaning to see, but havent because i go home so much. i just need a break from what ive made my weekly routine. ive been thinking alot and trying to better things. if i start going out more while im in boston, being here wont be so shitty. i just keep getting this continuous feeling of emptiness in my life. i just want to feel whole again. my life has gone through some major changes and i need to find a way to accept them. i dont wnat to, but i have to. i cant keep doing this to myself. i want to move on but its hard. it seems like nothing lately has worked out like i thought it would. the one person i could see myself with forever is mostly gone from my life. and i miss how i used to feel. i miss being happy and being with someone. and i cant even work things out becuase hes moved on. and i have tried moving on, but nothing is happening. i just wish i had someone becuase i have so much to give, just no one to give to. i keep thinking about break coming up. i dont know what im supposed to do with myself. all i ever end up doing is being a third or fifth wheel and i just get so sick of it. it gets depressing. waa waa i didnt mean for this to end up me complaining about being single.
i need to go out and shoot some rolls of film today beucase im really slacking on my assignment thats due on friday. i figured i just wouldnt go home this weekend becuase i could really use the $10.50 i'd spend on the tickets and i could clear my head, get some work done and hang out with some people ive been meaning to see, but havent because i go home so much. i just need a break from what ive made my weekly routine. ive been thinking alot and trying to better things. if i start going out more while im in boston, being here wont be so shitty. i just keep getting this continuous feeling of emptiness in my life. i just want to feel whole again. my life has gone through some major changes and i need to find a way to accept them. i dont wnat to, but i have to. i cant keep doing this to myself. i want to move on but its hard. it seems like nothing lately has worked out like i thought it would. the one person i could see myself with forever is mostly gone from my life. and i miss how i used to feel. i miss being happy and being with someone. and i cant even work things out becuase hes moved on. and i have tried moving on, but nothing is happening. i just wish i had someone becuase i have so much to give, just no one to give to. i keep thinking about break coming up. i dont know what im supposed to do with myself. all i ever end up doing is being a third or fifth wheel and i just get so sick of it. it gets depressing. waa waa i didnt mean for this to end up me complaining about being single.