(no subject)
this weekend was very emotional and i went through alot of personal shit but i really think some of the worst is over. i was feeling an all-time low and ive learned i just have to not sit around and hope things will eventually be ok... i have to get over things and get over people. i just dont want to ever be lonely like i felt the other night. that was horrible. i just hope thats over. im doing alot of hoping right now. figuring out things. figuring out my life.
my mom happened to call the other day when i was feeling pretty miserable and i started balling beucase i couldnt control myslef and admitted to her how much i sometimes hate being here. how i feel like im just waiting and i dont want to do this anymore. i want to get myself togerther first. i want to not struggle so much with money. and with keeping myself from going crazy.
boston was never my home and i dont know if it ever will be. i still dont feel at home. i just happen to live here. dont get me wrong, its really awesome at times, but i dont know if i can truely be here for 2 1/2 more years. i dont know whats happening after the end of this semester. im really thinking about taking a semester off to get myself and some money together. i dont know yet. i dont really know anything right now.
my mom happened to call the other day when i was feeling pretty miserable and i started balling beucase i couldnt control myslef and admitted to her how much i sometimes hate being here. how i feel like im just waiting and i dont want to do this anymore. i want to get myself togerther first. i want to not struggle so much with money. and with keeping myself from going crazy.
boston was never my home and i dont know if it ever will be. i still dont feel at home. i just happen to live here. dont get me wrong, its really awesome at times, but i dont know if i can truely be here for 2 1/2 more years. i dont know whats happening after the end of this semester. im really thinking about taking a semester off to get myself and some money together. i dont know yet. i dont really know anything right now.