it's been forever since i've felt you...

Jan 16, 2009 12:50

so, it's been almost 8 months since i've even attempted to come on lj and actually do something with it...life's been hectic lately, i mean, with people in jail, people dying, people changing, people coming in and going out of my life..it's all just been a complete mess..but on another note, i think things are started to look up, or at least i'm hoping..

it's a new year, and with all things considered, i'm trying to turn over a new leaf i guess..make some changes, fix some things that need fixing, ya know..what everyone does with a new years beginning, haha..as cliche as it all is.....

so me and the girl got a puppy in november, that was quite a step, still adjusting a little bit after almost 3 months, haha..expenses are a big thing, we still say that we should have thought about getting him a little bit more before we got him, but he's a good addition because sometimes when things are just ick, he makes me feel better, not much of anything can do what he does sometimes..dogs are funny like that.

it'll be 3 years in march that me and jessi have been together..seems like a lifetime..things are good and bad all mixed up into one, sometimes. but i thinks it's because we live at my parents house still and neither one of us have jobs right now..that would screw any relationship up, haha. 24/7 of each other is just too much sometimes..so we're trying to find other things to do to not be up each others asses all the time, hoping that will all work out, sure it will.

my dad went to jail in august and got out in december for that accident that i had mentioned back sometime last year..and of course, he came to live back home for a little bit until he gets on his feet..sometimes i wish he wasn't here, but then at other times, i feel like i've needed him to live in the same household as myself for the longest time..considering i haven't lived with him since i was like 4 years old. i've spent my entire life with my grandparents, and to have my father in the picture is cool sometimes..even though he's the biggest pain in the ass and is on mine every second of every day because i'm not doing anything with my life right now, haha..he's a good guy though, i just hope his life has changed because of this accident, i hope he betters himself and makes something good out of the opportunities that he has right now..so far so good.

so, i guess me and joe are friends again..i mean, arrrg, i don't know. it's so hard with him because i want to be friends with him one day and then the next day i don't want to be..i just feel like no matter what, i will always get shit on and i'll always be the one who gets hurt and sometimes i feel like just cutting ties altogether would be the best thing for us, and then he comes back around and i just give in..i must be stupid..but ya know, you learn from your mistakes, and at this point, he can be a part of my life, but i will not take the shit that i've taken from him for the longest time..so when it starts, that's the end of it..there's no chances anymore, so he better just be decent for once. he claims that he's changed, and i believe 10 percent..i need the proof, and just telling me doesn't show anything..we'll see.

i finally got my arm tattooed...ooh heavens, haha. it's cute..my mom doesn't like it, but every one else does..i hate doing things that i know i'll feel guilty for afterward, but i've wanted a tattoo on my arm for the longest time..the neck, shoulder blade, and shoulder and wrist just weren't enough for me, haha. it's nice though. (funny thing is..it was half of a christmas present from joe, lmao).

i guess that's all for now..will definitely start updating everyday if it's possible. =]

new year, life, new beginning

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