dont know what im going to write
First off, anyone I consider a friend, I want to know exactly how you feel about me. I am tired of caring so much about people that don't give a shit about me, please make it easier. I really don't care what anyone thinks of me, I want to know just so that I don't set myself up to let anyone else let me down.
I have been thinking a lot, and my brain is drawing blanks because it always falls into the same traps. I cry too fucking much for my own good these days, and I'm sick of it. I don't really enjoy doing anything, except getting fucked up and not thinking about my life. The person I have been my whole life is dead, it is time to start building someone new from the ground up. The new me is not going to be like I once was. I am going to learn to be selfish and only be there for people that deserve it. There is a lot of changes going to be happening in my life, and if you don't like it, leave me alone. Im going to do what I want, say what I want, when and where I want. Back off. It is MY life, these are MY thoughts, and no one can take that from me, not even her. Don't like all this, or don't like the idea of a new me, I really could give two shits. The life I live does nothing but set me up for pain and letdown. FUCK IT. I can still dream, and my writing will still probably reflect the person I am trying to leave behind, but outwardly, I won't be the same. My heart is blackened and dying, it doesn't have enough strength left in it to be lived from anymore. It isn't worth it anyways.
I have been thinking a lot, and my brain is drawing blanks because it always falls into the same traps. I cry too fucking much for my own good these days, and I'm sick of it. I don't really enjoy doing anything, except getting fucked up and not thinking about my life. The person I have been my whole life is dead, it is time to start building someone new from the ground up. The new me is not going to be like I once was. I am going to learn to be selfish and only be there for people that deserve it. There is a lot of changes going to be happening in my life, and if you don't like it, leave me alone. Im going to do what I want, say what I want, when and where I want. Back off. It is MY life, these are MY thoughts, and no one can take that from me, not even her. Don't like all this, or don't like the idea of a new me, I really could give two shits. The life I live does nothing but set me up for pain and letdown. FUCK IT. I can still dream, and my writing will still probably reflect the person I am trying to leave behind, but outwardly, I won't be the same. My heart is blackened and dying, it doesn't have enough strength left in it to be lived from anymore. It isn't worth it anyways.