Years later
So I randomly stumbled upon my old livejournal... Reading through the entries, trying to remember exactly what we were thought was so funny. What made me so sad. What made the girls so angry. Why we thought that whatever situation we were experiencing was our entire lives.
I am a firm believer in the concept that "things happen for a reason." Happening to read these entries at this time in my life cannot be a coincidence.
So unbelievably grateful right now.
In the millisecond of my life that I'm experiencing right now, it seems like things are falling apart. Cannot get any worse, why can't I catch a fucking break? Then I read back through my old thoughts and rants and realize I've felt like this before. Absolutely in a different scope, and probably a completely different mindset, but all the same.
I feel so desperately lost right now, like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, simply because the tunnel doesn't end. Reading these posts has made me realize that there is an end, and one day I won't even remember why I felt the way I do at this moment.
Today, I feel like I have lost the most amazing thing in my life, the one person who gets me, the one thing that was always going to be right at the end of everything. We've been through hell and back. I thought that everything else was worth it. I was wrong. Letting my guard down and falling so desperately in love is completely unlike me, but I gave it a shot, and regret that decision immensely. At this moment, it seems like "how can I move on from being hurt and left?"
Moral of the story: In a few years, I'll forget this day even existed.
Good or bad? I don't give a fuck.
I am a firm believer in the concept that "things happen for a reason." Happening to read these entries at this time in my life cannot be a coincidence.
So unbelievably grateful right now.
In the millisecond of my life that I'm experiencing right now, it seems like things are falling apart. Cannot get any worse, why can't I catch a fucking break? Then I read back through my old thoughts and rants and realize I've felt like this before. Absolutely in a different scope, and probably a completely different mindset, but all the same.
I feel so desperately lost right now, like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, simply because the tunnel doesn't end. Reading these posts has made me realize that there is an end, and one day I won't even remember why I felt the way I do at this moment.
Today, I feel like I have lost the most amazing thing in my life, the one person who gets me, the one thing that was always going to be right at the end of everything. We've been through hell and back. I thought that everything else was worth it. I was wrong. Letting my guard down and falling so desperately in love is completely unlike me, but I gave it a shot, and regret that decision immensely. At this moment, it seems like "how can I move on from being hurt and left?"
Moral of the story: In a few years, I'll forget this day even existed.
Good or bad? I don't give a fuck.