everything's cyclical...and loaded with truthful cliches
i move from depression to apathy, from apathy to comfort, from comfort to happiness. depression is lurking somewhere in the horizon, i'm sure, but it's not with me now. cynicism has also taken a temporary holiday, and i'm feeling hopeful and mostly happy tonight. I've got a paper to finish and three finals to take tomorrow, but i'm not worried.
growing older is definitely a bizarre experience. i have so many questions, and just when i think i have the answer, those questions change. I change, and i have to begin another round of explication.
for tonight i'm going to just accept that the ability to love, and the desire to love and be loved, is a quality that is fundamentally human and not just something society cultivates within us. tonight i'm going to take comfort in the fact that everyone loves, be they smart, slow, pretty or ugly. not everyone is happy about it, but we all take the fall eventually. i've been looking around for over a year now for some sign that life is worth living, for some evidence that humankind is not just a waste of space, for some redeeming feature.
I don't know if our ability and need to love is a redemptive quality, but i think our ability to connect with one another, to wander blindly together in the dark, makes living through each day a little more bearable. we're all in this mess together. we're all lonely. we're all lost in the dark.
and to lean on a cliche, love is a light. sometimes it burns, sometimes it comforts, sometimes it blinds, and sometimes it illuminates, but it's a light in the darkness, and i'm glad it's there.
let's see how i feel about it tomorrow. :D
i wish i could hold onto this feeling i have right now. I'm not in love, but i feel good about being alive. I'm actually happy. i haven't felt this good in a long time.
growing older is definitely a bizarre experience. i have so many questions, and just when i think i have the answer, those questions change. I change, and i have to begin another round of explication.
for tonight i'm going to just accept that the ability to love, and the desire to love and be loved, is a quality that is fundamentally human and not just something society cultivates within us. tonight i'm going to take comfort in the fact that everyone loves, be they smart, slow, pretty or ugly. not everyone is happy about it, but we all take the fall eventually. i've been looking around for over a year now for some sign that life is worth living, for some evidence that humankind is not just a waste of space, for some redeeming feature.
I don't know if our ability and need to love is a redemptive quality, but i think our ability to connect with one another, to wander blindly together in the dark, makes living through each day a little more bearable. we're all in this mess together. we're all lonely. we're all lost in the dark.
and to lean on a cliche, love is a light. sometimes it burns, sometimes it comforts, sometimes it blinds, and sometimes it illuminates, but it's a light in the darkness, and i'm glad it's there.
let's see how i feel about it tomorrow. :D
i wish i could hold onto this feeling i have right now. I'm not in love, but i feel good about being alive. I'm actually happy. i haven't felt this good in a long time.