Wherein I use a bunch of words that make no sense
Ok, so I almost DIED yesterday. I had some last minute shopping to get done with the brother. Me and my bro figured that SURELY the highways shouldn't be too congested yet, since the real rush for holiday travelers would be Friday (today). Holy tacos were we wrong. I've never seen such slow non moving traffic before! Lets get a few things straight, numero uno: I dont drive. I've been freaked out since my car wreck, so i'm just really paranoid in general about cars and driving. Numero b:* my brother is the craziest mofo on the road. So we were cruuuzin' along at an insane speed when I yelled "MARK" about five times because the jeep careening towards us was in fact sitting COMPLETELY still on a major highway, and we had to swivle* to the side to keep from hitting him, and then we almost got clipped by a CEMENT TRUCK in the other lane we dipped into.
Me: WTF how could you not see that jeep and the other nine billion cars stopped??
Brother: How am I suppose to know what "MARK" means!? You should have said "'STOP'. 'MARK' could mean anything"
Me: You're right. MARK. DOUCHEBAG.
So we have relatives arriving today, but i'm going to forego the fun that is driving to the DFW airport on CHRISTMAS WEEKEND. No thanks. I'll stay here with my Oliver.
Speaking of which, my friends weiner dog whom I am watching for her, is the cutest thing since sliced bread. My family adores him, save for my cat who keeps glaring at me. I've never been around a small dog before, considering the only dog I've ever had outweighed me by about 20 lbs. But you know, small dogs are incredibly useful. I woke up in the middle of the night last night from a visit by my "monthly friend"* and when I returned to bed, little Mr. Oliver decided to climb up on my stomache and pass out. I was like AAAHHH sweet jaysus that feels good. (I had cramps and the applied pressure of his entire little body was like awesomeness).
I also found out that the little dog likes my guitar. Particulary* when I sit in the floor and play Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" on acoustic. I think my singing ruins it for him though, lol.
*Because I dont know what number 2 is in spanish.
*Is swivle even a word? Because it wasnt exactly a swerve, it was...swivle-ie.
*WHOTHEHELL gets their period on Christmas-Eve-Eve?! Me, thats who.
*I can't spell. In elementary school I always skipped English to go watch the boys on the playground.
Me: WTF how could you not see that jeep and the other nine billion cars stopped??
Brother: How am I suppose to know what "MARK" means!? You should have said "'STOP'. 'MARK' could mean anything"
Me: You're right. MARK. DOUCHEBAG.
So we have relatives arriving today, but i'm going to forego the fun that is driving to the DFW airport on CHRISTMAS WEEKEND. No thanks. I'll stay here with my Oliver.
Speaking of which, my friends weiner dog whom I am watching for her, is the cutest thing since sliced bread. My family adores him, save for my cat who keeps glaring at me. I've never been around a small dog before, considering the only dog I've ever had outweighed me by about 20 lbs. But you know, small dogs are incredibly useful. I woke up in the middle of the night last night from a visit by my "monthly friend"* and when I returned to bed, little Mr. Oliver decided to climb up on my stomache and pass out. I was like AAAHHH sweet jaysus that feels good. (I had cramps and the applied pressure of his entire little body was like awesomeness).
I also found out that the little dog likes my guitar. Particulary* when I sit in the floor and play Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" on acoustic. I think my singing ruins it for him though, lol.
*Because I dont know what number 2 is in spanish.
*Is swivle even a word? Because it wasnt exactly a swerve, it was...swivle-ie.
*WHOTHEHELL gets their period on Christmas-Eve-Eve?! Me, thats who.
*I can't spell. In elementary school I always skipped English to go watch the boys on the playground.