Search and Hope
Title: Search and Hope
Ship: Guzman/Mira
Genre: Drama/Angst
Rated: PG-13
Word Count: 926
Summary: She doesn’t see him among the soldiers backing Taylor.
A/N: Written for Guzman/Mira - search by morganel and Guzman/Mira - hope by sky_kiss for ‘Friday One Word Fic Challenge’ - Week 12
Inspired by the Guz & Mira (Terra Nova 1x01/1x02 - “Genesis”) gif on tumblr by mercscilla.
I went back and re-watched the episode and caught the scene between Taylor and Guz in the clinic. After Guz questions him as to why he keeps supplying Mira with medical supplies, Taylor’s response makes him pause, obviously not what he wanted to hear. Then he takes a few seconds to compose himself before he leaves, Taylor looking after him as if worried about his lieutenant.
Or am I imagining things? (;
----------
The last time he’d been present during one of her standoffs with Taylor she had lowered her gaze to the ground, unable to meet his fierce expression as he walked past, his displeasure clearly written on his face.
He’d restrained himself from commenting on Taylor’s decision (she could tell by the way he quickly stiffened at the older man calling his name) to provide her with medical supplies and release Carter from the brig, did as he was told without dispute. The man prided himself on being a model soldier. Trustworthy, competent, unwaveringly loyal. The type of person you wanted on your side.
Which is why it was unfortunate that they found themselves at odds, on opposing sides, good guys (him) versus bad guys (her). She had yet to face him alone, always backed by her people, as was he when he ventured outside the gates. Even if she wanted to find herself alone with him she’d be hard pressed to ever get the opportunity. Only luck in addition to the alignment of the stars in her favor would cause such an event to occur.
And if it did happen, what then? Would they exchange civil words, engage in amicable conversation? Ask each other about their day?
No. That was unlikely. Absurd.
There would only be animosity (from him). Understandably so. And she’d have to return it in kind. To act remorseful would only be met with contempt. He wouldn’t believe her. Especially since he didn’t know her motives, the reason she had done what she had to the colony, to him. After everything was said and done, he was the wronged party. He had no obligation to treat her as he’d done so before. She had no reason to expect it. But it she also knew it wasn’t something she could endure.
Anger is cruel. The need, desire to exact some form of vengeance on the person who hurt you, who wronged you is intense. Drives even the most docile, kind people to callousness. And if she’s being honest with herself, that is exactly what she fears.
What would he say to her?
She’s stayed up nights, tossing and turning in her cot thinking about every insult that could pass his lips. Every disparaging remark, slight to her person.
Would he even speak to her? Or would he look down his nose at her, deem her unworthy of his time, his presence, and turn away instead, turn his back on her like she had to him?
When she had approached the gates with the rest of her clan in search of Leah Marcos, her quick scanning of each soldier’s face was interrupted by Taylor’s approach. They had exchanged words so very much like those in the past, a familiar dance between the two, one that had yet to change. More than likely would not in the foreseeable future.
After it all, the mutual consensus was to leave the girl in Terra Nova and for her and her people to depart. (The dog and pony show had gone without a hitch.) However, before leaving she looked about one final time, hoping to see him amid the sea of sonic weapons and body armor.
She did not.
And she’s been left wondering ever since. She could think of no reason to explain his absence. As chief of security, one half of Taylor’s top advisors, she had yet to come up with a viable reason.
Had he been hurt on a trip OTG? Was he dead?
Her mind was bombarded with scenario after scenario, each worse than the last. A continuous stream chipping away at her sanity, hoping with all her might that it was not the case. That they were wrong.
Only Skye’s entrance into her treehouse pulls her away from her morbid thoughts. The young girl was nervous, stood fidgeting a few feet from her. Not that she could blame her. She hasn’t been kind to her, using her mother as blackmail. She simply waits for her to speak, all the while sharpening her knife, making sure it remained razor-edged, in perfect condition for when the time came to use it.
“Carter told me that you guys found a plant that could help my mother, something to ease her discomfort. I just wanted to...to tell you I appreciate it.” Skye’s hand plays with a loose thread on her satchel bag as she stands there, awaiting a response or a dismissal.
She knew she could simply take the offered olive branch, accept the thank you she received. She would have had it been another place, another time but she can’t. Forming any type of bond with people only hindered her.
It was easier to play the villain. And while she knew that the weekly intelligence brought to her by Skye wasn’t always the most valuable, she let it slide because she knew what it was costing the girl. Knew that she feared being found out by her, by Taylor, that Carter had warned her about the repercussions.
But she didn’t need to know that. “I have to keep your mother healthy if I want you to continue spying. Simple as that.”
Skye’s face hardens at her admission, incredulous, and gives a curt nod before turning. Her light steps are quick but halt at the entrance as she looks over her shoulder, says one last thing before she disappears. “He asked to be sent out. He’s stationed at outpost nine.”
She looks after Skye’s retreating figure, surprised. She wasn’t the only one who knew things apparently.