(no subject)
i'm so sick and tired of feeling like i'm the one with a problem.
it makes me question myself and it brings me down. and i feel like i can't do anything right. and then when i try and fight against it it seems like i'm the only one that sees things this way, and then i start to question my sanity.
do you know what it feels like to go through most of you life being made to feel like you have a warped sense of reality? that there is something wrong with you? but no one can really tell you what exactly it is that is wrong with you. so you have no way of fixing yourself. all you know is that there is something wrong with you and you need to fix it.
and here i am thinking that i've fixed my self.
that i've finally got the grasp on reality that i've needed.
and then someone else starts treating me the same way.
so what else can i do but to start believing again that there is something seriously wrong with me and my sense of reality.
its so crushing and embarrassing and scary.
i dont know what is the truth
and it hurts
and i dont know what to do or what to believe
the people that i love are telling me there is something wrong with me.
but they wont help me or tell me what
but when i really think about it
or talk to someone else they say that its not me, its them
so why would the people i love treat me this way?
to make me feel like i'm crazy?
whats really the truth?
am i really that bad?
you have no idea how bad it hurts
i dont know what to do
or what to believe
or how to feel
its awful
it makes me question myself and it brings me down. and i feel like i can't do anything right. and then when i try and fight against it it seems like i'm the only one that sees things this way, and then i start to question my sanity.
do you know what it feels like to go through most of you life being made to feel like you have a warped sense of reality? that there is something wrong with you? but no one can really tell you what exactly it is that is wrong with you. so you have no way of fixing yourself. all you know is that there is something wrong with you and you need to fix it.
and here i am thinking that i've fixed my self.
that i've finally got the grasp on reality that i've needed.
and then someone else starts treating me the same way.
so what else can i do but to start believing again that there is something seriously wrong with me and my sense of reality.
its so crushing and embarrassing and scary.
i dont know what is the truth
and it hurts
and i dont know what to do or what to believe
the people that i love are telling me there is something wrong with me.
but they wont help me or tell me what
but when i really think about it
or talk to someone else they say that its not me, its them
so why would the people i love treat me this way?
to make me feel like i'm crazy?
whats really the truth?
am i really that bad?
you have no idea how bad it hurts
i dont know what to do
or what to believe
or how to feel
its awful