Ficlet: Putting One's Foot Down, Spike/Xander, Giles POV, PG13
This is just a short, silly ficlet that popped into my head.
Putting One's Foot Down
They're doing it again.
Giles tries to concentrate on his book while Spike and Xander banter on the other side of the table. It's been worse since Anya left, now Giles has to be in the shop while they dance around one another like ninnies.
Spike tries to take Xander's éclair--nothing Freudian about that, Giles thinks, smirking to himself. The two of them argue loudly over it and, finally, it's too much.
Giles' voice is hard, but low. "If the two of you don't stop this nonsense and go shag somewhere, somewhere far away from me, I swear I will find a lust spell."
Silence.
He looks up from his book, one eyebrow arched in question. Spike and Xander are staring at him. He waits with false patience for them to say something.
"You can't think I'd shag him." Spike says, talking over Xander, who was saying, "You hit your head, G-man?"
Giles snorts, his disdain for their behavior clear even in that small sound. "Not that you two truly need it. It's getting hard to breath over the pheromones in here." Both Spike and Xander are staring at him, open mouthed, and Giles rolls his eyes, putting down his book and turning in his seat to look at them. "It's very simple. Go. Shag."
Slowly, as if fighting it, Spike and Xander look at one another, all wide eyes. Giles waits impatiently as they inspect one another, these looks more lingering, hopefully more aware, than the last seven million or so.
"Oh," Xander says softly, ducking his head and looking quickly away. Spike just smirks and then leers. Xander looks at Giles then, his face stained with an attractive flush. "I'm not gay."
"How horrible for you." Giles replies, voice dripping with sarcasm as he picks up his book once again. Silence follows, and it isn't the kind conducive to his being able to read and relax. It's tense, waiting, and driving Giles to distraction. Giles rolls his eyes, looking up to find Spike and Xander pretending not to watch one another, pretending to research. "Oh, for god sakes!" he shouts, snapping his book shut. "Will you two just go?"
Two pairs of eyes, one blue and one brown, fly to him. The faces in which those eyes are set are surprised and nervous. For a moment Spike and Xander just stare at him and then, finally, they look at one another.
They rise from their seats like puppets pulled up by their strings and Giles is hopeful that a spell won't be necessary. They turn, Xander shoving Spike playfully as they leave. After the sound of the bell over the door fades, Giles closes his eyes, savoring the silence.
Smiling to himself, he goes back to reading, enjoying the peace.
Which doesn't last nearly long enough. The bell rings and Giles doesn't even need to look up to know who's disturbing him now, their voices are loud and slightly shrill as Buffy and Dawn enter, arguing. At least, if it were a customer, he wouldn't mind so much.
"Dawn, you clearly need glasses," Buffy says as she and Dawn clomp inside.
"I'm telling you! I know what I saw!" Dawn's tone is indignant, strident, a tone common to teenagers all over the world and the bane of librarians everywhere.
"No. It was dark, you saw something and thought you saw something else. There is no way you saw what you think you saw." Buffy plops into the chair beside Giles. "Hey! So, what's on the agenda for tonight? Maybe mayhem? I could use some nice, normal mayhem."
"I'm telling you," Dawn's voice had become a whine. "I saw Spike and Xander kissing! I'm not blind!"
Giles snaps his book shut once again, though neither Buffy nor Dawn takes any notice. They don't notice when Giles stands either, wandering off to find somewhere quiet to read.
Putting One's Foot Down
They're doing it again.
Giles tries to concentrate on his book while Spike and Xander banter on the other side of the table. It's been worse since Anya left, now Giles has to be in the shop while they dance around one another like ninnies.
Spike tries to take Xander's éclair--nothing Freudian about that, Giles thinks, smirking to himself. The two of them argue loudly over it and, finally, it's too much.
Giles' voice is hard, but low. "If the two of you don't stop this nonsense and go shag somewhere, somewhere far away from me, I swear I will find a lust spell."
Silence.
He looks up from his book, one eyebrow arched in question. Spike and Xander are staring at him. He waits with false patience for them to say something.
"You can't think I'd shag him." Spike says, talking over Xander, who was saying, "You hit your head, G-man?"
Giles snorts, his disdain for their behavior clear even in that small sound. "Not that you two truly need it. It's getting hard to breath over the pheromones in here." Both Spike and Xander are staring at him, open mouthed, and Giles rolls his eyes, putting down his book and turning in his seat to look at them. "It's very simple. Go. Shag."
Slowly, as if fighting it, Spike and Xander look at one another, all wide eyes. Giles waits impatiently as they inspect one another, these looks more lingering, hopefully more aware, than the last seven million or so.
"Oh," Xander says softly, ducking his head and looking quickly away. Spike just smirks and then leers. Xander looks at Giles then, his face stained with an attractive flush. "I'm not gay."
"How horrible for you." Giles replies, voice dripping with sarcasm as he picks up his book once again. Silence follows, and it isn't the kind conducive to his being able to read and relax. It's tense, waiting, and driving Giles to distraction. Giles rolls his eyes, looking up to find Spike and Xander pretending not to watch one another, pretending to research. "Oh, for god sakes!" he shouts, snapping his book shut. "Will you two just go?"
Two pairs of eyes, one blue and one brown, fly to him. The faces in which those eyes are set are surprised and nervous. For a moment Spike and Xander just stare at him and then, finally, they look at one another.
They rise from their seats like puppets pulled up by their strings and Giles is hopeful that a spell won't be necessary. They turn, Xander shoving Spike playfully as they leave. After the sound of the bell over the door fades, Giles closes his eyes, savoring the silence.
Smiling to himself, he goes back to reading, enjoying the peace.
Which doesn't last nearly long enough. The bell rings and Giles doesn't even need to look up to know who's disturbing him now, their voices are loud and slightly shrill as Buffy and Dawn enter, arguing. At least, if it were a customer, he wouldn't mind so much.
"Dawn, you clearly need glasses," Buffy says as she and Dawn clomp inside.
"I'm telling you! I know what I saw!" Dawn's tone is indignant, strident, a tone common to teenagers all over the world and the bane of librarians everywhere.
"No. It was dark, you saw something and thought you saw something else. There is no way you saw what you think you saw." Buffy plops into the chair beside Giles. "Hey! So, what's on the agenda for tonight? Maybe mayhem? I could use some nice, normal mayhem."
"I'm telling you," Dawn's voice had become a whine. "I saw Spike and Xander kissing! I'm not blind!"
Giles snaps his book shut once again, though neither Buffy nor Dawn takes any notice. They don't notice when Giles stands either, wandering off to find somewhere quiet to read.