All or Nothing
Title: All or Nothing
Character(s): Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Miles, Hurley
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post 5x11. What will it take for Jack to finally regain his senses?
#91: The Seven Heavenly Virtues - Hope.
All or Nothing
No, it didn't matter what I tried
It's just a little hard to leave
When you're going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
Kate could still hear the familiar sounds of the ocean crashing in the distance even though she knew it wasn't really there. They were too far inland to hear much over the trill of canopy birds and the occasional backfiring of an engine. It was almost surreal to be experiencing it at all, cars, and houses, in the middle of the jungle where they had survived for almost three months with next to nothing.
She remembered how eager they had been to flee last time. To rescue Jack, to get the hell out of there; back when he was the driving force to get them home.
Talk about new beginnings...second chances.
She could only see his back from her vantage point on the porch step, following Hurley into a sunny yellow house several yards down. Sawyer too was watching him, head slunk low as he sauntered off into the darkness.
"Nice night, Freckles," he bridged the gap between their houses.
"Yeah, it is," she croaked, wincing at the sound of her own voice.
The sandy haired man stared at her hard and cocked his head toward where Jack had been standing. "Hell, ain't Doc Giggles heading the wrong direction?"
"He's staying with Hurley." She didn't look at him.
The southerner gave a low snort. "Maybe you oughta invite him over. Doc'll be real pleasant tomorrow, Pillsbury snores like a god damn elephant."
"Since when did you start worrying about Jack?" Her eyes flashed with something he couldn't read nor begin to understand.
"Since when did you stop?" He retorted, but their little trek through the jungle took the edge away from his voice. The look she gave him burned into his neck as he crossed his arms and shook his head.
"If there's something wrong with Jacko I need to know about it," he said, slowly watching her face twist in anger.
"You need to know about it?" She repeated coldly. "You need to know about how after the island we were happy, he proposed to me. Me of all people, getting married. You need to know about how he changed, left me to raise Aaron? How he started drinking and calling me every Friday night stoned on his pills? Is that it James?"
Sawyer bit his lip, hard. "Guess you're gonna have to give him a second chance ain't ya, Kate?" He whispered, wincing at the loud crack of her hand connecting with his cheek.
"You've got one hell of a backhand. You been practicing?" He gingerly rubbed his face.
"How can you even suggest that?" She seethed with a rough shake of her head. Her green eyes were wild with fury.
"Cause you and me had our chance Freckles. And Doc Mopey over there, he needs ya." He jerked his thumb in the direction where Jack had been.
Kate's muscles tensed. He saw the way she recoiled, as if she was falling back into old habits, ready to run. Only this time there was nowhere to run.
Sighing, Sawyer thew up his hands, "Look, I'm just saying that the Doc, hasn't been the Doc since he's been back. He refused to save the damn kid. That's like the god damn Pope being convicted of murder."
"People change, James. You of all people should know that."
He shrugged. "Change ain't so bad, Freckles. At least most of the time."
"So you and Juliet..." she paused.
"I love her," he finished for her, unsure if admitting something they had been skating around was good for them or if he was just rubbing salt in the wound.
"You seem happy. Both of you. That's good." She sounded bitter, jealous almost, but not of Juliet, of both of them for succeeding where her and Jack had failed.
"And you love Jack," he reminded. "Maybe you should take a page out of his book and try fixing him?"
"Never thought I'd see the day you started sticking of for him," Kate breathed, fighting back the rawness in her tone. She wrung her hands and pushed herself up off the step. Something in her momentum faltered buckling her knees and she grit her teeth feeling a wave of dizziness wash over her.
"You okay, Freckles?" Sawyer crouched to her level.
"Fine," she grated over the ringing in her ears. Even her vision swam with dark splotches that seemed to multiply when she blinked.
"Maybe not so fine." Kate mumbled feeling the buzzing sound amplify to a dull roar. Her skin was a bleached bone white and he could feel the sweat soaking her shirt straight through. He caught her before she pitched forward and struck her head off the pavement.
"Juliet!" His voice was loud enough to be heard through the kitchen window where the blonde doctor was mopping up the counter with a tattered dish rag. She was at his side a moment later. Storm clouds had started to move in masking the last sliver of moonlight from illuminating the grass. It even smelled like rain.
"What happened?"
The southerner shrugged. "She was fine and then she just keeled over," he said slowly.
"Hmm..." Juliet ran a hand across Kate's forehead, rooting for a pulse with the other. Eventually, her muscles relaxed and she gave Sawyer a sidelong glance. "She's just exhausted. She gave Ben her own blood before going traipsing around the jungle with you. I don't even remember the last time I saw her eat or drink anything."
"She's gonna be okay then?"
"If we get her inside and convince her to rest than yeah, she's gonna be okay." Juliet rolled her eyes. "Just like old times huh? Only now she's acting more like Jack than Jack is."
He gave a low snort as he readjusted Kate's limp form in his arms.
"Now what are you..." Juliet followed him past their house feeling the first droplets of rain dampen her skin. It was late and the only people she did see were two of the workman returning from one of the other stations.
"It ain't that I don't trust your opinion, sunshine. I'm just taking her to her primary physician." He offered a wolfish grin that she returned with a dusty chuckle.
"Somehow I don't think he's going to turn down this particular patient."
Hurley was flipping through a magazine when Sawyer didn't so much as knock, but roughly jab the knob and shoulder his way in.
"Dude, she doesn't look so good." The larger man blinked, tilting his head in a lopsided glance toward Kate who was limp in his arms.
"Where's the Doc?" His voice had a stern edge to it as he set her down on the couch.
They found him sprawled across his bed, staring fixedly at the wall with a dull, hazy expression tugging at his features. Sawyer frowned, he'd never see Jack acting so damn lazy.
"Wake the hell up, Doc. You've got work to do."
"Nothing you can handle, I'm sure." Jack murmured into his pillow. He didn't bother to lift his head, instead closing his eyes and dismissing them both.
"Dude, I really think you should come."
"I'm not in the mood, Hurley," Jack huffed in a gravely tone.
Hurley frowned, staring at Sawyer who looked just about ready to wring his neck.
"It's Kate, Doc."
"I don't give a damn what she thinks. I'm not apologizing." At least his head was up and he cared enough to fix them both with a pointed glare, it was a start if anything.
"She won't wake up," he returned evenly. It was enough to get Jack on his feet.
"What?"
"She collapsed," Sawyer clarified, but he didn't say from what, knowing full well it would be better for Jack to figure it out for himself.
The former spinal surgeon was out the door before either of them could blink.
"That's pretty slick, Dude." The lager man whispered, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze, it elicited a startled hiss from the con man.
"Excuse me?" He grunted. His voice was dry and serious, crackling in the air around them.
"You're not worried so you must know it's not serious. Which means you're trying to get him be island Jack again.” Hurley beamed earning an odd look.
“Island Jack?” Sawyer scoffed.
“You know, when he was all hardcore and leader like.”
"Just trying to give El Docko his stethoscope back. Not a word, Mutton Chops." He warned.
"Kate?"
"Hey Kate." Jack found her on the couch huddled into the cushions looking damp and feverish. Her eyes shot open and she couldn’t get up fast enough to avoid him completely. Jack lowered his shoulders and looked down at the floor before catching her gaze.
“Don’t Jack,” she warned, backing up against the furthest wall she could find. He bridged the distance between them easily.
"You passed out, Kate. Just let me make sure you're okay and we can leave this alone," he told her gently watching her try and suppress a shiver. He tilted his head, fixing her a troubled expression that bordered on pain. She looked too woozy for his liking, but with her eyes were narrowed and her jaw squared he doubted he could get close enough to convince her to sit down.
Frowning, Jack shrugged out of his sweater and tossed it to her without cornering her. Kate caught it out of instinct but when she realized what is was she let drop to the ground in disgust.
"You're shivering, Kate," he sighed. "Please just lay back down, I won't come near you if you don't want me too, but I don't want you to pass out again."
She didn’t want this. Not from him. Not now. At that moment she just wanted to kill Sawyer.
Seeming to come to some sort of discussion Jack gave a little nod, picked up the offending object and wrapped it around her before she could back away. Kate was too stunned to protest. When she did realize what was happening she pushed forward and barreled into the middle of his chest with a weak grunt.
She couldn’t overpower him as he gently wrapped his arms around her with enough force to keep her from wriggling away. Kate thrashed and arched forward instinctively, the need to escape at the forefront of her mind, rugged and desperate. It was primordial, her fingernails digging into his arms as his he guided them both to the rust colored carpet in one staggered, drawn out motion.
“Kate…It’s okay. I won’t hurt you. I promise.” Jack’s voice cracked. He was breathing hard into her hair, rubbing small circles across her back and rocking them both back and forth in a slow, languid arc.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered when her struggles became nothing more than a weak protest.
“…so sorry.”
Kate was fighting tears and when she looked up at him she could see them sliding down his own cheeks. Closing her eyes she grimaced and nodded.
"God Jack, I couldn't let him die. He reminded me too much of Aaron," she said in a tired voice that tore at his heart.
"I'm so sorry," he choked, starting to sound like a broken record. "I didn't think it was my place to..."
"You let us all down today," she admitted sadly. "We need the old Jack back. You were right before when you said I didn't like him because I didn't― I loved him, but you haven't been that person for a long time, Jack."
He weakly straightened his back, feeling her eyes bore into his own. "I can't do this anymore. I'm not needed anymore, Sawyer's got it all under control."
She caught him before he even attempted to stand. "No Jack, he doesn't. You're our leader. At least you were and now we all need you to be that person again. I need you to tell me what's wrong, why you suddenly decided to drown yourself in alcohol and pain killers? I need you to be you again, Jack."
"This has nothing to do with you." His eyes flared. "I couldn't save them, I couldn't save any of them and I knew I would be a lousy father to Aaron so it was best to stay as far away as possible."
"No." She leaned in to cup his cheeks feeling his hot breath on the side of her neck. He felt her body relax into him and for a few seconds they looked at each other without speaking. There wasn’t any need to, their bodies knew what needed to be said, even if their hearts didn't, and did so silently, hugging and touching each other until both their expressions were mild.
“Kate, you’re shivering,” Jack complained, helping her up without releasing her from his arms.
She rolled her eyes a little. “I’m just wet,” she sniffled. "It rained on the way back."
His brow furrowed, watching her with a curiosity that began to cloud with worry. “You’re warm.”
"I'm fine," Kate insisted. He didn't look convinced as they stood. He heard her groan, the full weight of her body pressing into him for support.
“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” he told her gently, looking vaguely amused when she attempted to protest.
“I’m not sick,” her complaint fell upon deaf ears.
"Kate." He said her name as he always does when he's trying to get through to her, half annoyed, half amused.
She's in his arms before either of them can blink. Jack silently noted how quiet the house is as he lowered her down on his bed with a renewed gentleness that she had almost forgotten he was capable of.
"Jack," she groaned, feeling him prodding at her wrist for a pulse. It wasn't long before he followed the thready beat up her wrist to the juncture of her elbow, rolling up her sleeve until his thumbs hovered over the bandage.
"Kate, what happened?" His voice was breathless and laced with worry.
"Ben was bleeding out. He needed blood," she attempted to explain, suddenly feeling guilty for telling him.
Jack gave a little nod but his expression was broken. "I should have been there," he hissed as he drew in a ragged breath. Both their eyes were red and puffy, the sting of tears still clouding their vision.
"It's over now," she mumbled, her words dissolving around them under the sound of running water.
It's over now.
She shivered again.
He perched on the edge of bed, reaching to undo her jeans before guiding her naked body into the bathroom. There was no modesty this time, no shyness. They've both been there before and Jack didn't want that to ever change.
Kate opened her mouth to protest, but there was no real struggle. Jack needed to do this, not only for her, but for himself.
He made sure that the water was neither cold nor piping hot as he lifted her into the bathtub. She flinched at the initial shock, allowing the water to sooth her aching body, letting herself melt into his hands.
A nervous, worried expression flickered across her face and Jack knew she hadn’t quite forgotten the events of earlier that day. He felt a pang of guilt rise up inside of him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He looked up when she squeezed his hand, the faintest hint of a smile on her face.
“So does this mean you're going to be Jack again?" She asked hopefully.
"Only if you want me to," he produced a sheepish grin.
Kate gave him a hard look, her lips forming a tight line as she met his gaze. "I just want you to be you, Jack."
He nodded, shedding himself of his button down shirt and reaching to lather her back and shoulders. She sighed, allowing him to run a cloth across her forehead.
“See, not so bad,” he offered as he skated along the muscles in her neck, applying gentle pressure as he did so.
“Mmmm.”
Jack watched her movements carefully, she was almost limp against the side of the tub, her body tight to his hands.
“Still with me Kate?” He asked after a long moment of silence. She peered up at him through half-lidded eyes, tilting her head to read the concern on his face.
“Yeah...” Whatever she had been planning to say was cut short by a loud cough. They both winced.
“Maybe I am just a little under the weather,” she admitted grudgingly.
“Then it’s a good thing your top doctor is on the job,” Jack grinned, reaching for the shampoo to rinse her hair.
Kate was dozing by the time Jack drained the water and lifted her out of the bathtub. He fetched a large towel, drying her off before helping her into one of his old t-shirts. She wasn’t taking well to the fact she barely had enough energy to lift her head let alone support her own weight. In all honestly, her throat felt as if it were on fire and every muscle in her body seemed to be acting of its own accord.
“Jack,” she mumbled a sleepy protest.
“Kate,” he warned. “We'll talk later, you need to rest. Doesn’t that bed look awfully nice right now? All those fluffy pillows and...”
“Stop it,” she slurred with a drowsy smile.
He knew he had won before her head hit the pillow, helping her stretch out before he folded the blankets over them.
“Now get some sleep,” Jack whispered as he eased her into his arms, alternating between stroking her cheek and raking his fingers across her scalp. She unconsciously shifted her head so that it cuddled into the crook of his neck in a way that made him sigh and pull her tighter.
"I missed you." the words tumbled out of him on instinct, lazily sticking to his tongue as he started to nod off. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew she was right, that tomorrow he would have to go back to being Jack again.
"Dude, look it's island Jack. He's got the tattoos and everything." Hurley remarked several hours later as he ducked his head inside Jack's open bedroom. Sawyer, Juliet, and Miles followed closely at his heels.
"Hell Mongo, he's always had the damn tats," the con man stared pointedly at the ink clearly visible on Jack's exposed shoulder.
"Yeah, but he's kept them covered up since we've been back." The lager man justified.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Miles cocked an eyebrow as he too squeezed in to get a look at the sleeping couple.
"Island Jack always had the tattoos," Hurley grinned. "He's also got island Kate which means you owe me twenty bucks dude," he glanced at Miles.
"You two were betting on this?" Juliet scoffed, more amused than anything else.
Miles shrugged, "It was bound to happen eventually."
Character(s): Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Miles, Hurley
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post 5x11. What will it take for Jack to finally regain his senses?
#91: The Seven Heavenly Virtues - Hope.
All or Nothing
No, it didn't matter what I tried
It's just a little hard to leave
When you're going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
Kate could still hear the familiar sounds of the ocean crashing in the distance even though she knew it wasn't really there. They were too far inland to hear much over the trill of canopy birds and the occasional backfiring of an engine. It was almost surreal to be experiencing it at all, cars, and houses, in the middle of the jungle where they had survived for almost three months with next to nothing.
She remembered how eager they had been to flee last time. To rescue Jack, to get the hell out of there; back when he was the driving force to get them home.
Talk about new beginnings...second chances.
She could only see his back from her vantage point on the porch step, following Hurley into a sunny yellow house several yards down. Sawyer too was watching him, head slunk low as he sauntered off into the darkness.
"Nice night, Freckles," he bridged the gap between their houses.
"Yeah, it is," she croaked, wincing at the sound of her own voice.
The sandy haired man stared at her hard and cocked his head toward where Jack had been standing. "Hell, ain't Doc Giggles heading the wrong direction?"
"He's staying with Hurley." She didn't look at him.
The southerner gave a low snort. "Maybe you oughta invite him over. Doc'll be real pleasant tomorrow, Pillsbury snores like a god damn elephant."
"Since when did you start worrying about Jack?" Her eyes flashed with something he couldn't read nor begin to understand.
"Since when did you stop?" He retorted, but their little trek through the jungle took the edge away from his voice. The look she gave him burned into his neck as he crossed his arms and shook his head.
"If there's something wrong with Jacko I need to know about it," he said, slowly watching her face twist in anger.
"You need to know about it?" She repeated coldly. "You need to know about how after the island we were happy, he proposed to me. Me of all people, getting married. You need to know about how he changed, left me to raise Aaron? How he started drinking and calling me every Friday night stoned on his pills? Is that it James?"
Sawyer bit his lip, hard. "Guess you're gonna have to give him a second chance ain't ya, Kate?" He whispered, wincing at the loud crack of her hand connecting with his cheek.
"You've got one hell of a backhand. You been practicing?" He gingerly rubbed his face.
"How can you even suggest that?" She seethed with a rough shake of her head. Her green eyes were wild with fury.
"Cause you and me had our chance Freckles. And Doc Mopey over there, he needs ya." He jerked his thumb in the direction where Jack had been.
Kate's muscles tensed. He saw the way she recoiled, as if she was falling back into old habits, ready to run. Only this time there was nowhere to run.
Sighing, Sawyer thew up his hands, "Look, I'm just saying that the Doc, hasn't been the Doc since he's been back. He refused to save the damn kid. That's like the god damn Pope being convicted of murder."
"People change, James. You of all people should know that."
He shrugged. "Change ain't so bad, Freckles. At least most of the time."
"So you and Juliet..." she paused.
"I love her," he finished for her, unsure if admitting something they had been skating around was good for them or if he was just rubbing salt in the wound.
"You seem happy. Both of you. That's good." She sounded bitter, jealous almost, but not of Juliet, of both of them for succeeding where her and Jack had failed.
"And you love Jack," he reminded. "Maybe you should take a page out of his book and try fixing him?"
"Never thought I'd see the day you started sticking of for him," Kate breathed, fighting back the rawness in her tone. She wrung her hands and pushed herself up off the step. Something in her momentum faltered buckling her knees and she grit her teeth feeling a wave of dizziness wash over her.
"You okay, Freckles?" Sawyer crouched to her level.
"Fine," she grated over the ringing in her ears. Even her vision swam with dark splotches that seemed to multiply when she blinked.
"Maybe not so fine." Kate mumbled feeling the buzzing sound amplify to a dull roar. Her skin was a bleached bone white and he could feel the sweat soaking her shirt straight through. He caught her before she pitched forward and struck her head off the pavement.
"Juliet!" His voice was loud enough to be heard through the kitchen window where the blonde doctor was mopping up the counter with a tattered dish rag. She was at his side a moment later. Storm clouds had started to move in masking the last sliver of moonlight from illuminating the grass. It even smelled like rain.
"What happened?"
The southerner shrugged. "She was fine and then she just keeled over," he said slowly.
"Hmm..." Juliet ran a hand across Kate's forehead, rooting for a pulse with the other. Eventually, her muscles relaxed and she gave Sawyer a sidelong glance. "She's just exhausted. She gave Ben her own blood before going traipsing around the jungle with you. I don't even remember the last time I saw her eat or drink anything."
"She's gonna be okay then?"
"If we get her inside and convince her to rest than yeah, she's gonna be okay." Juliet rolled her eyes. "Just like old times huh? Only now she's acting more like Jack than Jack is."
He gave a low snort as he readjusted Kate's limp form in his arms.
"Now what are you..." Juliet followed him past their house feeling the first droplets of rain dampen her skin. It was late and the only people she did see were two of the workman returning from one of the other stations.
"It ain't that I don't trust your opinion, sunshine. I'm just taking her to her primary physician." He offered a wolfish grin that she returned with a dusty chuckle.
"Somehow I don't think he's going to turn down this particular patient."
Hurley was flipping through a magazine when Sawyer didn't so much as knock, but roughly jab the knob and shoulder his way in.
"Dude, she doesn't look so good." The larger man blinked, tilting his head in a lopsided glance toward Kate who was limp in his arms.
"Where's the Doc?" His voice had a stern edge to it as he set her down on the couch.
They found him sprawled across his bed, staring fixedly at the wall with a dull, hazy expression tugging at his features. Sawyer frowned, he'd never see Jack acting so damn lazy.
"Wake the hell up, Doc. You've got work to do."
"Nothing you can handle, I'm sure." Jack murmured into his pillow. He didn't bother to lift his head, instead closing his eyes and dismissing them both.
"Dude, I really think you should come."
"I'm not in the mood, Hurley," Jack huffed in a gravely tone.
Hurley frowned, staring at Sawyer who looked just about ready to wring his neck.
"It's Kate, Doc."
"I don't give a damn what she thinks. I'm not apologizing." At least his head was up and he cared enough to fix them both with a pointed glare, it was a start if anything.
"She won't wake up," he returned evenly. It was enough to get Jack on his feet.
"What?"
"She collapsed," Sawyer clarified, but he didn't say from what, knowing full well it would be better for Jack to figure it out for himself.
The former spinal surgeon was out the door before either of them could blink.
"That's pretty slick, Dude." The lager man whispered, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze, it elicited a startled hiss from the con man.
"Excuse me?" He grunted. His voice was dry and serious, crackling in the air around them.
"You're not worried so you must know it's not serious. Which means you're trying to get him be island Jack again.” Hurley beamed earning an odd look.
“Island Jack?” Sawyer scoffed.
“You know, when he was all hardcore and leader like.”
"Just trying to give El Docko his stethoscope back. Not a word, Mutton Chops." He warned.
"Kate?"
"Hey Kate." Jack found her on the couch huddled into the cushions looking damp and feverish. Her eyes shot open and she couldn’t get up fast enough to avoid him completely. Jack lowered his shoulders and looked down at the floor before catching her gaze.
“Don’t Jack,” she warned, backing up against the furthest wall she could find. He bridged the distance between them easily.
"You passed out, Kate. Just let me make sure you're okay and we can leave this alone," he told her gently watching her try and suppress a shiver. He tilted his head, fixing her a troubled expression that bordered on pain. She looked too woozy for his liking, but with her eyes were narrowed and her jaw squared he doubted he could get close enough to convince her to sit down.
Frowning, Jack shrugged out of his sweater and tossed it to her without cornering her. Kate caught it out of instinct but when she realized what is was she let drop to the ground in disgust.
"You're shivering, Kate," he sighed. "Please just lay back down, I won't come near you if you don't want me too, but I don't want you to pass out again."
She didn’t want this. Not from him. Not now. At that moment she just wanted to kill Sawyer.
Seeming to come to some sort of discussion Jack gave a little nod, picked up the offending object and wrapped it around her before she could back away. Kate was too stunned to protest. When she did realize what was happening she pushed forward and barreled into the middle of his chest with a weak grunt.
She couldn’t overpower him as he gently wrapped his arms around her with enough force to keep her from wriggling away. Kate thrashed and arched forward instinctively, the need to escape at the forefront of her mind, rugged and desperate. It was primordial, her fingernails digging into his arms as his he guided them both to the rust colored carpet in one staggered, drawn out motion.
“Kate…It’s okay. I won’t hurt you. I promise.” Jack’s voice cracked. He was breathing hard into her hair, rubbing small circles across her back and rocking them both back and forth in a slow, languid arc.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered when her struggles became nothing more than a weak protest.
“…so sorry.”
Kate was fighting tears and when she looked up at him she could see them sliding down his own cheeks. Closing her eyes she grimaced and nodded.
"God Jack, I couldn't let him die. He reminded me too much of Aaron," she said in a tired voice that tore at his heart.
"I'm so sorry," he choked, starting to sound like a broken record. "I didn't think it was my place to..."
"You let us all down today," she admitted sadly. "We need the old Jack back. You were right before when you said I didn't like him because I didn't― I loved him, but you haven't been that person for a long time, Jack."
He weakly straightened his back, feeling her eyes bore into his own. "I can't do this anymore. I'm not needed anymore, Sawyer's got it all under control."
She caught him before he even attempted to stand. "No Jack, he doesn't. You're our leader. At least you were and now we all need you to be that person again. I need you to tell me what's wrong, why you suddenly decided to drown yourself in alcohol and pain killers? I need you to be you again, Jack."
"This has nothing to do with you." His eyes flared. "I couldn't save them, I couldn't save any of them and I knew I would be a lousy father to Aaron so it was best to stay as far away as possible."
"No." She leaned in to cup his cheeks feeling his hot breath on the side of her neck. He felt her body relax into him and for a few seconds they looked at each other without speaking. There wasn’t any need to, their bodies knew what needed to be said, even if their hearts didn't, and did so silently, hugging and touching each other until both their expressions were mild.
“Kate, you’re shivering,” Jack complained, helping her up without releasing her from his arms.
She rolled her eyes a little. “I’m just wet,” she sniffled. "It rained on the way back."
His brow furrowed, watching her with a curiosity that began to cloud with worry. “You’re warm.”
"I'm fine," Kate insisted. He didn't look convinced as they stood. He heard her groan, the full weight of her body pressing into him for support.
“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” he told her gently, looking vaguely amused when she attempted to protest.
“I’m not sick,” her complaint fell upon deaf ears.
"Kate." He said her name as he always does when he's trying to get through to her, half annoyed, half amused.
She's in his arms before either of them can blink. Jack silently noted how quiet the house is as he lowered her down on his bed with a renewed gentleness that she had almost forgotten he was capable of.
"Jack," she groaned, feeling him prodding at her wrist for a pulse. It wasn't long before he followed the thready beat up her wrist to the juncture of her elbow, rolling up her sleeve until his thumbs hovered over the bandage.
"Kate, what happened?" His voice was breathless and laced with worry.
"Ben was bleeding out. He needed blood," she attempted to explain, suddenly feeling guilty for telling him.
Jack gave a little nod but his expression was broken. "I should have been there," he hissed as he drew in a ragged breath. Both their eyes were red and puffy, the sting of tears still clouding their vision.
"It's over now," she mumbled, her words dissolving around them under the sound of running water.
It's over now.
She shivered again.
He perched on the edge of bed, reaching to undo her jeans before guiding her naked body into the bathroom. There was no modesty this time, no shyness. They've both been there before and Jack didn't want that to ever change.
Kate opened her mouth to protest, but there was no real struggle. Jack needed to do this, not only for her, but for himself.
He made sure that the water was neither cold nor piping hot as he lifted her into the bathtub. She flinched at the initial shock, allowing the water to sooth her aching body, letting herself melt into his hands.
A nervous, worried expression flickered across her face and Jack knew she hadn’t quite forgotten the events of earlier that day. He felt a pang of guilt rise up inside of him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He looked up when she squeezed his hand, the faintest hint of a smile on her face.
“So does this mean you're going to be Jack again?" She asked hopefully.
"Only if you want me to," he produced a sheepish grin.
Kate gave him a hard look, her lips forming a tight line as she met his gaze. "I just want you to be you, Jack."
He nodded, shedding himself of his button down shirt and reaching to lather her back and shoulders. She sighed, allowing him to run a cloth across her forehead.
“See, not so bad,” he offered as he skated along the muscles in her neck, applying gentle pressure as he did so.
“Mmmm.”
Jack watched her movements carefully, she was almost limp against the side of the tub, her body tight to his hands.
“Still with me Kate?” He asked after a long moment of silence. She peered up at him through half-lidded eyes, tilting her head to read the concern on his face.
“Yeah...” Whatever she had been planning to say was cut short by a loud cough. They both winced.
“Maybe I am just a little under the weather,” she admitted grudgingly.
“Then it’s a good thing your top doctor is on the job,” Jack grinned, reaching for the shampoo to rinse her hair.
Kate was dozing by the time Jack drained the water and lifted her out of the bathtub. He fetched a large towel, drying her off before helping her into one of his old t-shirts. She wasn’t taking well to the fact she barely had enough energy to lift her head let alone support her own weight. In all honestly, her throat felt as if it were on fire and every muscle in her body seemed to be acting of its own accord.
“Jack,” she mumbled a sleepy protest.
“Kate,” he warned. “We'll talk later, you need to rest. Doesn’t that bed look awfully nice right now? All those fluffy pillows and...”
“Stop it,” she slurred with a drowsy smile.
He knew he had won before her head hit the pillow, helping her stretch out before he folded the blankets over them.
“Now get some sleep,” Jack whispered as he eased her into his arms, alternating between stroking her cheek and raking his fingers across her scalp. She unconsciously shifted her head so that it cuddled into the crook of his neck in a way that made him sigh and pull her tighter.
"I missed you." the words tumbled out of him on instinct, lazily sticking to his tongue as he started to nod off. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew she was right, that tomorrow he would have to go back to being Jack again.
"Dude, look it's island Jack. He's got the tattoos and everything." Hurley remarked several hours later as he ducked his head inside Jack's open bedroom. Sawyer, Juliet, and Miles followed closely at his heels.
"Hell Mongo, he's always had the damn tats," the con man stared pointedly at the ink clearly visible on Jack's exposed shoulder.
"Yeah, but he's kept them covered up since we've been back." The lager man justified.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Miles cocked an eyebrow as he too squeezed in to get a look at the sleeping couple.
"Island Jack always had the tattoos," Hurley grinned. "He's also got island Kate which means you owe me twenty bucks dude," he glanced at Miles.
"You two were betting on this?" Juliet scoffed, more amused than anything else.
Miles shrugged, "It was bound to happen eventually."