Remember Them Always
Title: Remember Them Always
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mentions of character deaths, suicide
Spoilers: season three
Disclaimer: Lost belongs to J.J. Abrams and co. at ABC and Bad Robot
He wondered if anyone else on the beach felt as out of place as he. A new sound was humming in his ears: a sound of an engine as the castaways boarded numerous helicopters. He watched as Claire stepped on board, Aaron in her arms, just like in his vision. They were leaving the island, the place he had been forced to stay for the past three years. He should have been happy. He should have been anything other than what he was feeling now.
Guilt. Regret. And a distinct feeling that he was leaving behind unfinished work. His vision had come true, and it was funny, because for the past few weeks he had fought to prevent exactly that. Now his whole world was changing: visions had to come true, and he was leaving this island. Charlie was dead. He continued to stare at the helicopters, mesmerized by the fan-like persona of the propellers and caught in a daze, a haunting nightmare that followed him even in the daylight. And he always believed monsters could only come out at night. How would he be able to live a life with that image in his head, of Charlie floating backwards after motioning a cross, dying? A suicide. He'd lied to Claire and the rest, telling them the place had been flooded. But the truth was the truth: there were a few ways Charlie could have escaped the room, but Charlie went out of his way to make sure he could not be saved. Suicide.
Suicide...he had never been close to suicide before, never had any reason to consider what it was like, if it was worth it. What if he were to die?
Would he stay in contact with any of the flight 815 survivors once they were rescued? He watched as Claire settled into the helicopter and turned back towards the island, as though she were looking for someone. She would never know why Charlie had to die, that this was the only way. Or was it? Could there have been another way? A concept he'd wrestled with in his mind that day and would for the rest of his life. There could have been. There was always another way.
The last of the survivors boarded the planes, and he knew it was now his calling. Where would he go? He began to walk towards the helicopter, thinking that no one knew what was in his head. No one would ever understand. He didn't feel quite like going back to Scotland, the place that started this all. Yes, he would meet with Penny. That was the only light in the depth of his sorrowful mind. But maybe they would go on a vacation...to England, perhaps. He had never been there before, but suddenly he found no reason not to go. It didn't matter what he did now, he realized. He had already faced the most frightening years of his life, he felt like he could take on a monster, fight a war.
But his heart began to race as he neared the helicopter. They were leaving someone behind, and for the survivors, many more who had passed away. Desmond kept his eyes to the ground, frantically trying to avoid the sea. He wasn't so brave after all. Once a coward always a coward. How he would fight this battle, he didn't know. He didn't know anything at that moment, only that he had caused a death. He could have still saved Charlie, there could have been another way.
He was forced to look up as he approached the steps of the helicopter he would be riding home in. Claire was still gazing out at the island, her eyes free of tears but he still saw that she was crying. Then he saw Aaron, sleeping safely in her arms. He almost smiled. The child would be able to live a normal life, a safe life. Sun and Jin had a child to think about as well. All these people, they were going home to their families, maybe even their own children. He may never be able to move past Charlie's death, but at least he could take comfort in what was true: his vision had shown Claire and Aaron getting rescued, and that was happening. It may not have been by the most happiest of circumstances, but these people, they were getting saved.
He offered the island a last gaze, a last piece of his life. That was all it deserved. Everything that place had done...but really, the land was as much of a victim as they, being taken advantage of and manipulated into this cruel scientific experiment. The idea of the island being dealt with, put to an end, helped ease his mind as well. They would no longer have to live here, be a rat in this horrible maze. It would only be a piece of their minds as they moved on with their lives and lived for the ones they had to leave behind. Those people they had lost, they would never be forgotten. He only hoped they knew that.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mentions of character deaths, suicide
Spoilers: season three
Disclaimer: Lost belongs to J.J. Abrams and co. at ABC and Bad Robot
He wondered if anyone else on the beach felt as out of place as he. A new sound was humming in his ears: a sound of an engine as the castaways boarded numerous helicopters. He watched as Claire stepped on board, Aaron in her arms, just like in his vision. They were leaving the island, the place he had been forced to stay for the past three years. He should have been happy. He should have been anything other than what he was feeling now.
Guilt. Regret. And a distinct feeling that he was leaving behind unfinished work. His vision had come true, and it was funny, because for the past few weeks he had fought to prevent exactly that. Now his whole world was changing: visions had to come true, and he was leaving this island. Charlie was dead. He continued to stare at the helicopters, mesmerized by the fan-like persona of the propellers and caught in a daze, a haunting nightmare that followed him even in the daylight. And he always believed monsters could only come out at night. How would he be able to live a life with that image in his head, of Charlie floating backwards after motioning a cross, dying? A suicide. He'd lied to Claire and the rest, telling them the place had been flooded. But the truth was the truth: there were a few ways Charlie could have escaped the room, but Charlie went out of his way to make sure he could not be saved. Suicide.
Suicide...he had never been close to suicide before, never had any reason to consider what it was like, if it was worth it. What if he were to die?
Would he stay in contact with any of the flight 815 survivors once they were rescued? He watched as Claire settled into the helicopter and turned back towards the island, as though she were looking for someone. She would never know why Charlie had to die, that this was the only way. Or was it? Could there have been another way? A concept he'd wrestled with in his mind that day and would for the rest of his life. There could have been. There was always another way.
The last of the survivors boarded the planes, and he knew it was now his calling. Where would he go? He began to walk towards the helicopter, thinking that no one knew what was in his head. No one would ever understand. He didn't feel quite like going back to Scotland, the place that started this all. Yes, he would meet with Penny. That was the only light in the depth of his sorrowful mind. But maybe they would go on a vacation...to England, perhaps. He had never been there before, but suddenly he found no reason not to go. It didn't matter what he did now, he realized. He had already faced the most frightening years of his life, he felt like he could take on a monster, fight a war.
But his heart began to race as he neared the helicopter. They were leaving someone behind, and for the survivors, many more who had passed away. Desmond kept his eyes to the ground, frantically trying to avoid the sea. He wasn't so brave after all. Once a coward always a coward. How he would fight this battle, he didn't know. He didn't know anything at that moment, only that he had caused a death. He could have still saved Charlie, there could have been another way.
He was forced to look up as he approached the steps of the helicopter he would be riding home in. Claire was still gazing out at the island, her eyes free of tears but he still saw that she was crying. Then he saw Aaron, sleeping safely in her arms. He almost smiled. The child would be able to live a normal life, a safe life. Sun and Jin had a child to think about as well. All these people, they were going home to their families, maybe even their own children. He may never be able to move past Charlie's death, but at least he could take comfort in what was true: his vision had shown Claire and Aaron getting rescued, and that was happening. It may not have been by the most happiest of circumstances, but these people, they were getting saved.
He offered the island a last gaze, a last piece of his life. That was all it deserved. Everything that place had done...but really, the land was as much of a victim as they, being taken advantage of and manipulated into this cruel scientific experiment. The idea of the island being dealt with, put to an end, helped ease his mind as well. They would no longer have to live here, be a rat in this horrible maze. It would only be a piece of their minds as they moved on with their lives and lived for the ones they had to leave behind. Those people they had lost, they would never be forgotten. He only hoped they knew that.