Calling All Sinners... Come Home.
When music discovered me, it was the first time I had really, truly believed in God. Before that, all I had were burning questions. My childhood was filled with an akward mixture of happy memories and unspeakable horrors. I'll never forgive one of my mother's husbands for what he did to me, but at the same time, I'll always remember my Dad being at my little league games and taking me surfing. I guess it's like that for everybody, Tremendous highs and horrific lows. That's what childhood often is. Anyway, it became a barrier to me figuring things out about myself. And figuring out how God worled in the entire scheme of things was something that couldn't be conceived in my younger years.
Then, one day, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was listening to Sam Cooke & The Soul Stirrers and I was moved to tears. After that, music really hit me on an emotional level. Before I heard and really took the time to absorb Sam, everything was sort of peripheral. There was a lot of loud rock music that was more about posturing that anything else. But once I heard Sam, the flood gates were open. Albums like Bob Dylan's "Blood On The Tracks" and Joni Mitchell's "Blue" just tore me into tiny little pieces. They broke my heart in every imaginable way, filled the broken valves with a new tragic truth, a vivid beautiful melody and then rebuilt it. I was never the same after that.
Some people buy records and write music for a hobby or for an escape from some humdrum reality. I write music because I am working out my own salvation. I write music and buy records because it is the only way I feel close to God.
From a writing standpoint, I am enthralled with the idea of turning my sins, my confessions, into music. It doesn't excuse any harm I might have caused but it is the only way that I really know how to deal with eliminating those barriers that stand in the way of knowing myself and stand in the way of knowing God. I used to write music from the same place a lot of people do. I used to trash ex-girlfriends and sing about things I thought people would think were unflinchingly creative. Now, I realize that it was all a big giant charade. I wasn't hiding from anyone but myself. When you've done some of the things that I have done, it's hard to find faith and redemption. It is hard to imagine a light down the road.. My heart felt like a mausoleum for so many years and it is finally emerging from a long slumber. Im beggining to see the shape of it again. I'm beginning to remember what it was like to go surfing with my Dad or to hear Sam Cooke for the first time.
In other words, I'm finally turning my sins into music and, as a result, I can see things in myself that have layed dormant for most of my life.
I want to share some new songs I have written with you. I'm going to try to get them online as soon as I can. I think of music as this vast universe that belongs to all of us. My songs aren't mine, they are ours. I hope you can find something in them because, for me, they've saved my life. They've really prepared me for some of the things that lie ahead, including marriage and a new family. Music is God as much as anything else is. A meditation this morning made it so clear to me and I wept at the enormity of it all.
This album, when it comes out, will mean my life. I'm going to approach it like the fate of my world will hinge on the outcome. It may take time to be finished, so please be patient with me. I have an extraordinary passion for creating music but I am also harshly self-editing and I don't want to put anything out unless I can feel confident, without any ego or pretention, that it is 100 percent real and raw and comes from my soul.
As with writing music, record shopping can also be a spiritual experience. I'm planning on going to Amoeba, Aron's, Fingerprints and Dizzy's this weekend. I'm looking to pick up some more Springsteen bootlegs from 73-74. I also plan on getting the new Woody Guthrie box set, Clive Palmer's "All Roads Lead To Land," the new Big Mama Thornton anthology, Mighty Imperials "Thunder Chicken," De La Souls' "Grind Date" and the new Buddy MIller, to name a few. Anybody wanna go with me?
This world is beautiful if you want it to be. Please remember that,
BR
Then, one day, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was listening to Sam Cooke & The Soul Stirrers and I was moved to tears. After that, music really hit me on an emotional level. Before I heard and really took the time to absorb Sam, everything was sort of peripheral. There was a lot of loud rock music that was more about posturing that anything else. But once I heard Sam, the flood gates were open. Albums like Bob Dylan's "Blood On The Tracks" and Joni Mitchell's "Blue" just tore me into tiny little pieces. They broke my heart in every imaginable way, filled the broken valves with a new tragic truth, a vivid beautiful melody and then rebuilt it. I was never the same after that.
Some people buy records and write music for a hobby or for an escape from some humdrum reality. I write music because I am working out my own salvation. I write music and buy records because it is the only way I feel close to God.
From a writing standpoint, I am enthralled with the idea of turning my sins, my confessions, into music. It doesn't excuse any harm I might have caused but it is the only way that I really know how to deal with eliminating those barriers that stand in the way of knowing myself and stand in the way of knowing God. I used to write music from the same place a lot of people do. I used to trash ex-girlfriends and sing about things I thought people would think were unflinchingly creative. Now, I realize that it was all a big giant charade. I wasn't hiding from anyone but myself. When you've done some of the things that I have done, it's hard to find faith and redemption. It is hard to imagine a light down the road.. My heart felt like a mausoleum for so many years and it is finally emerging from a long slumber. Im beggining to see the shape of it again. I'm beginning to remember what it was like to go surfing with my Dad or to hear Sam Cooke for the first time.
In other words, I'm finally turning my sins into music and, as a result, I can see things in myself that have layed dormant for most of my life.
I want to share some new songs I have written with you. I'm going to try to get them online as soon as I can. I think of music as this vast universe that belongs to all of us. My songs aren't mine, they are ours. I hope you can find something in them because, for me, they've saved my life. They've really prepared me for some of the things that lie ahead, including marriage and a new family. Music is God as much as anything else is. A meditation this morning made it so clear to me and I wept at the enormity of it all.
This album, when it comes out, will mean my life. I'm going to approach it like the fate of my world will hinge on the outcome. It may take time to be finished, so please be patient with me. I have an extraordinary passion for creating music but I am also harshly self-editing and I don't want to put anything out unless I can feel confident, without any ego or pretention, that it is 100 percent real and raw and comes from my soul.
As with writing music, record shopping can also be a spiritual experience. I'm planning on going to Amoeba, Aron's, Fingerprints and Dizzy's this weekend. I'm looking to pick up some more Springsteen bootlegs from 73-74. I also plan on getting the new Woody Guthrie box set, Clive Palmer's "All Roads Lead To Land," the new Big Mama Thornton anthology, Mighty Imperials "Thunder Chicken," De La Souls' "Grind Date" and the new Buddy MIller, to name a few. Anybody wanna go with me?
This world is beautiful if you want it to be. Please remember that,
BR