(no subject)
so this is how it feels to lose everything. everyday i feel like dying more and more. everyday it gets harder and harder. but this time i have got to be strong. this time ive got to make it threw. we both have done some horrible things. and we both deserve so much more. i really did always think id spend the rest of my life with him. but as days go on the picture of us goes further and further away from my mind. i geuss it hurts thinking you had something so wonderful and then all the sudden its gone. its really hard not to cry. its really hard to be strong. but i will get threw this. i will get over this. i have done it before and i can do it again. i need to let him be happy with his new girl now. he needs to be happy. and since thats true, that means i need to stay away from him as much as i can. i need to get away and stay away. the only time i plan on seeing him is if we work togather and the only time i plan on talking to him is if i need him to work for me. because mayeb if i leave him alone hell forget about me and all the pain i caused him and he can be happy. i loved him more then anyone. and i always will love him. but i can get myself out of being in love with him. im not the person he thinks i am. and im not the person he see's. but its time for me to walk away. becuase hell never see the truth. ive gotta finally walk away. no matter how hard and hwo tough it may be. ive got to. i hope we can eventually be friends. and i hope he is happy. even if sometimes i say or do things that may think otherwise, in my heart i truely just want him to be happy. and because of me im ruining that for him. im ruining all of that. i just want to be left alone in a corner to cry until i die. i feel that i dont want to do anything. i want to sleep in the dream land where i can have and feel whatever i want. i dotn want to be in this horrible place called reality. but i geuss while im here ill fight threw it. i cant believe this is really the end.